So, yesterday I am flying from Dumaguete to Cebu and got into a conversation with a foreigner couple that has lived in the Philippines longer than I have. We shared experiences and a few travails and then the conversation turned to the return of the tourists. The female half of the couple began to almost whisper, “I’ve frankly enjoyed the last two years without the tourists,” she said. I giggled and agreed adding, “It was the only positive of the pandemic.”

Since the Philippines allowed tourists to return a month ago, a large number of people are returning who belong to a category I don’t consider tourists; they are residents here who for one reason or another got stuck outside the country and couldn’t get back in. I have a few friends in this category. Any negative comments I might make do not involve them.

The FB forums have been filled this month with questions and complaints from tourists who have arrived and those in the process of coming. Of course I am not talking about ordinary tourist questions; where do I go to find this or how do I go about doing that? That’s standard fair and I have even thrown out a few suggestions which were of course promptly ignored.

I am talking about the type of comments like, “why the hell does the Philippines do X…why was my flight delayed…why is the service so lousy…where do I get a taxi in Dumaguete (Dave’s answer: go to Cebu and pay a cabbie thousands of Pesos to drive 5 hours south). There may have been a time I would have been more predisposed to listen to and even answer such questions but the pandemic has robbed me of such generosity.

Now going back to my conversation on the flight, we all agreed that the Philippines desperately needs the tourist trade to return. Dumaguete has done remarkably well but I know the hotels and resorts in particular have been hammered and have been waiting for the return of the tourists, even if some of the said tourists are – how can I put it gently – assholes.

I just got back from hitting the ATM. Behind me was a young foreigner cursing up a storm to those Filipinos he was with. Granted I am being judgmental – but when I saw his slightly burned face, I knew he was one of those much sought after returning tourists.

I then went into a fast food restaurant and sat down while my order was being prepared. A young, lost-looking foreigner entered, saw another white face (mine), and nodded and smiled. I fully expected him to come over and talk or ask me where to find a taxi but I suspect that I threw out enough of a stink eye that he grabbed his food and left.

In the end I realize I have to adjust. I will learn to smile again at the newbies. I will answer questions, brag a bit about my experiences, and renew my acquaintance with the polite person I once was before the pandemic. Of course then I will think, as we part with a smile, “When the hell are they leaving.”

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Rant 2 is a subset of rant 1 and I’ve talked about this before. There’s no two ways about it. There are a lot of angry foreigners in the Philippines and two years of pandemic hasn’t made the situation any better. The first couple of years we were here Janet and I saw them often; foreigners yelling at waiters, store clerks, in banks, malls, in government offices. It was unpleasant and at times embarrassing, as I worried that it reflected on me, which of course it doesn’t. The last couple years more and more of those tirades were performed not by strangers but by people we know. It’s discouraging. It strikes me that there are a few reasons for such tirades, none of which are valid.

1. The Customer is Always Right: Many foreigners believe this common Western cliche and act on it angrily as in, ‘You are not giving me the service I require and paid for.’ Of course the problem with this, besides the fact that we are in a different country with a different service notion, is that the cliche itself is utter nonsense. I owned a small business for many years and while I certainly wanted my customers, or to be more frank, wanted their money, I would never do just anything to keep them. If they wanted me to break company policy, the answer was a polite ‘No.’ And if they did anything to insult me or other people the door was made available to them. So yelling at a powerless person in the Philippines about what you require because you are the “customer” just makes you look foolish.

2. The Squeaky Wheel Gets the Grease: Somewhere along the line a common strategy in the West became if you yelled loud enough you’d get the most and best attention. Janet observed this a lot when she worked at a supermarket in the US. Customers thought if they yelled the loudest she would acquiesce. They didn’t know Janet. But many of those customers have brought the same notion to the Philippines. ‘If I yell loudest I will get what I want.’ Unfortunately, despite appearances, acquiescing is not the standard reaction for most Filipinos. For many people here the more common reaction is, ‘I know a perfect place to bury the body.’ So be careful about who you yell at. Even the tiniest Filipina has brothers – and they know places.

The other add to this rant is that the Philippines is very different from the West; there is no anonymity here. Believe me if you have lived in Dumaguete for any length of time people know you. Waitresses know what I typically order, guards at the bank know that I am “the cowboy,” because I wear a large safari-style hat. If Janet enters the bank alone, they will ask her, “Where’s your husband, the cowboy?”

An acquaintance of ours is a yeller. We’ve been told about him, “Everyone in the barangay knows he yells and they avoid him.”

The Philippines is like Cheers – “where everyone knows your name.” In other words if you lose your shit, everyone will know – and they will remember – forever.

3. We’re From the West and We Know the Correct Way: This is probably the most disgusting of the rationalizations. ‘I know the correct way to do things; you Filipinos do not. I will teach you – loudly.’ If this is your attitude – then everyone knows places 🙂

Addendum: For anyone whose read this blog these many years, you ought to know by now that my emphasis is humor. Most foreigners in the Philippines are not angry jerks, though unfortunately some are. The pandemic has magnified some of the jerkdom. Most foreigners I know agree it is not pleasant to encounter such foreigners and frankly it’s dangerous – often to the jerks.