Tag Archives: karaoke

Noise Pollution in the Philippines

When expats complain about the Philippines (a favorite activity here) many of the complaints fall under the general category of “noise pollution.”

By comparison to their Western home countries, noise pollution is everywhere and includes: every animal in the Philippines, karaoke, loud stereos, excessive horn usage, and even loud talking. Some Westerners, used to the quiet  of their country of origin (a quiet enforced by the cops), struggle with a society that makes no attempt to remain quiet. Frankly, quiet here is downright un-Filipino.

When I hear expats complain about noise pollution my first thought is ” did you visit the Philippines before you moved here?” There is not a corner of this country in which you will not be awakened to the sound of roosters. I always loved the Dylan line, “When the roosters crow at the break of dawn, look out your window and I’ll be gone.” Dylan doesn’t know squat about roosters. They don’t crow at dawn; they crow whenever the hell they feel like it.

Frankly, I like roosters. When I would visit the Philippines as a tourist I would love the roosters on the first morning. It felt like I’d arrived home. OK, let’s acknowledge that I’m nuts.

Dogs are ubiquitous here. People let them roam their property or roam the streets. They bark like, well, dogs. They shit where they want. This is sort of the way it was when I was a kid in the U.S. (yes, I am that old). Pooper scoopers did not exist. People did not walk my neighborhood with their dog in tow and a plastic baggie on their hands. As a pedestrian it was your responsibility to avoid the dog shit. I guess some people think it’s progress.

And back then dogs barked. As a kid there was a German Shepherd two doors from us. When you passed their home the damn Nazi barked at you and slammed into the front window, testing it for weaknesses. Few kids in the neighborhood ever went into their home, despite the fact that the family daughter was smoking hot. During the summer she occasionally came to our place to swim in the pool. No way I was going to her place no matter how good she looked in a bathing suit.

When I was a middle aged divorced dad with two kids, I bought a dog for the kids. Spent real money to fence in the back yard for the dog. She loved it and when I took her out there she ran and ran and barked her head off. The other neighborhood dogs in their fenced in yards barked as well. They were having a high time. That is until I got the call or text from a neighbor telling me that my dog was barking and they were having difficulty concentrating on Masterpiece Theater. I liked my neighbors so in came the dog. If she was lucky she got a half hour run/bark session. I know what you’re thinking – why didn’t I take her to a dog park like every other responsible dog owner. Because I had spent $300k for my own home so that dogs and kids and possums and squirrels could act like animals and kids.

In the Philippines if you tell your neighbor that his dog is barking too much and keeping you from enjoying Antiques Roadshow they will react by…well I don’t know but I sure want to be there to see it!
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Karaoke and music: If you’re married to a Pinay you certainly should be aware of the country’s love for singing and music. There’s simply no understanding the concept that it disturbs your peace any more than the concept that it’s your neighbors’ fault if you stepped in his dog’s crap.

I know guys who have complained to neighbors about late night singing, though come to think of it, I haven’t heard from them lately. It might be cheaper and better for your health to buy a good pair of noise cancelling ear buds.

Motorcycle and car horns: I have written about this but horn usage is the primary method of vehicular communication in the Philippines. People honk to tell you they’re passing. People honk to tell you they’d like to pass but can’t till you get the hell out of the way. People honk at night to tell you that’s it’s cheaper to honk at you rather than turn on their headlights.

People honk in front of our house a lot. It’s the one thing Janet does not like about our rental home. Our bedroom is very close to the road. The road curves there and it’s sort of a blind curve, so drivers honk before entering the curve just in case someone is coming the other way. It’s very polite of them really, except Janet wakes up and wants to do a lot more than honk at them; I suspect a bolo would be involved.

And finally, Filipinos can be loud. They are friendly and fun loving people and as they walk by your home they are talking, giggling laughing, singing and just having fun. Unfortunately they are not thinking, “Gee, I bet that foreigner is watching Masterpiece Theater. We’d better be quiet.”

Personally I prefer happy people making a bit of noise rather than quiet miserable people. I’d rather roosters do their thing (on my street I am just as likely to wake up to cows mooing than roosters crowing). There’s a lot worse things to hear at night than singing. Fortunately I’m a good sleeper and do own a pair of noise cancelling ear buds.

 

The Philippines – It’s Like the 50s Only More Humid

If you’re past a certain age (and since I don’t want to offend anybody I won’t say what age that is) the first time you go to the Philippines you invariably come back thinking, “the place is right out of the 50s.”

As fellow blogger, Max Veracity, says in Living in Dumaguete, “time seems to stand still in this country as fads which were popular before these ladies were born are still current … today.” Fad number one is music. The first time I arrived in Manila and got in a taxi I was surprised to hear the radio play oldie after oldie; the stuff I grew up with; nothing past 1980. I assumed the driver, a middle-aged guy like me, liked him his golden oldies music. Hmmm…not quite. The next time I got in a taxi the driver was playing the same station. Quite a coincidence, I thought. That is until I heard the same station blaring out of a store.

How did I know it was the same station, besides the ancient play list? Because the same little kid yelled out the promo, “WIN Radio, WIN Radio” a thousand times until I heard it in my sleep. In fact, it sounds sappy, but now when I arrive in the Philippines and grab a taxi and hear that kid yell out “WIN Radio, WIN Radio, WIN Radio” I get all warm inside and feel like I am home. I mean I’m Jewish and they’re playing Neil Diamond and Barry Manilow. I have to feel at home, right?

In short, 70s and 80s music is modern music in the Philippines!

Then you have karaoke which hit it’s heyday in the US about thirty years ago. But every Filipino knows how to sing American songs from decades ago and they do it in every conceivable place. I mean coin operated karaoke machines on the beach? That seems a bit obsessive doesn’t it? When I hit the beach the last thing I am thinking about is singing. Swimming, snorkeling, checking out bikinis, drowning in an undertoe – sure. But Beach Blanket Karaoke? Not on my radar.

You want to dance in the Philippines – go to the local disco. Yep, they still exist. Travolta would feel right at home.

Malls: The financial pages are predicting doom and gloom for this year’s Xmas retail shopping season in the US. Mall traffic is down; brick and mortar stores are dying. But in the Philippines? They continue to build bigger and bigger malls. SM Seaside City Cebu Mall, will be the biggest mall in the Philippines (and 4th largest in the world) with 1000 shops and restaurants, is about to open; ok, based on Philippines time, who the hell knows when it will open. The point is mall construction is exploding in the Philippines.

These are not little strip malls like when we grew up. They are luxurious shopping cities. I’ve said this before, but it’s hard to imagine how a relatively poor country like the Philippines supports such high-end malls. Somebody’s hiding some cash somewhere. All I know is when we arrive in Cebu Janet is a very happy wife 🙂

Foods: I like many Filipino foods but other expats complain.  Fried foods, grease, cholesterol, pork, ice cream and chocolates are staples in the Philippines. Frankly people say this like it’s a bad thing 🙂

The issue isn’t the quality of the food; the issue is the country is right out of the 50s. Remember what we ate when we were kids? When hots dogs and beans was considered a quality meal. When proper cooking of  a steak meant how bloody could you cook it and still have it be considered dead. When vegetables came out of a Birdseye bag. When a healthy salad meant a chunk of iceberg lettuce with a tomato covered in Thousand Island dressing, aka mayonnaise. BTW, this is still my fave salad. The first time I got a salad at a restaurant in the Philippines it was a chunk of iceberg with some watery Thousand Island; they didn’t even bother with the tomato. I thought I’d died and gone to heaven!
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Roosters: We all know that roosters and chickens are ubiquitous in the Philippines, even in the cities. How does this relate to the West? I’m watching the Godfather Part 2 for about the hundredth time and in the scenes in New York City when Vito was a young man there were roosters and chickens in the middle of the NYC streets. OK, it wasn’t the 50s and I doubt that Coppola had been to the Philippines at the time (he was there later for Apocalypse Now) but still it was a touch that defines the modern from the old. In short, we had roosters too damn it, so stop complaining.

Family: Everyone’s attracted to the old fashioned family values in the Philippines, though if truth be told if those values no longer exist in the West, we must be somewhat to blame. But if you ask almost every expat they will tell you that they love the attitude towards the family, the elder members of the family, as well as the perceived attitudes toward marriage and divorce. Well, at least they love it until the family asks them for money 🙂

Women’s Attitudes: OK, here we have a sensitive subject, at least in the West. Ironically we’ve never had a woman President in the US (yet) but they have had in the Philippines and women do well in politics and business there. That being said, it’s easy to view women’s attitudes and gender differences as right out of our parents’ or grandparents’ generations. I image that, “Hey Edith, get me a San Miguel” can often be heard in the Philippines. (OK, it’s an old reference – look it up).

Recently Janet and I were out with a longtime female friend of mine. The two women got some alone time and my friend asked Janet what she liked to do with her free time after work. Janet told her she liked to “cook, bake and clean.”  Do I really need to tell you all how that answer went over?