Tag Archives: Jack

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The Baby is Six Months Old – and I Have Survived

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It’s hard to believe but our baby, Jackson (Jack), hit 6 months a couple weeks ago. He changes nearly by the day. Here’s an update on him and his geriatric father.

At 6 months we started in with foods: potatoes, vegetables and various fruits. Jack particularly loves the papayas from our garden. I gave Janet one of those mini cordless blenders for Christmas, assuming she’d use it for smoothies. Instead it has become a great tool for pureeing Jack’s latest meal. He loves eating, playing with his utensils (the miracle of modern silicone). and dropping his sippy cup when he’s done drinking.

He’s become good at sitting, the hand eye coordination with toys has taken a giant leap forward, he crawls a little (and gets very frustrated when he can’t), and loves to bounce and stand, with mommy or daddy’s help.

He is an incredibly happy baby and smiles often – unless he wants food , sleep, tummy play or to be picked up. His first lower tooth has popped through him gums, meaning teething is here.

This Friday we go back to his doctor for the latest round of vaccines. The shear numbers of vaccinations and their cost is overwhelming. Now you can get most vaccines free at local government clinics but we’ve decided with some reluctance that we will pay for the Western vaccines, rather than the free Chinese or Indian ones. I don’t know if it really makes a difference but that’s what we felt comfortable with – except for the bank account.

Janet has been incredible throughout all of this. Despite losing sleep and all the other issues surrounding taking care of a baby, she has no complaints. Granted we have a Yaya who helps a great deal but still it’s an incredible amount of work.

As for the geriatric father, I too wake up when Jack cries at night, but chances are good that as soon as Janet starts to feed him and he settles down I am back asleep in record time. And of course when we do miss too much sleep we have the luxury of taking an afternoon nap when we want to. No pesky meetings or cubicles to worry about.

This said, last night Jack was fussing and decided he wanted to cuddle up against me and to my surprise went back to sleep. I felt like I couldn’t move for fear of waking him but was so happy he could sleep against me, even though I am not the milk provider.

He sleeps in his crib about half the night and while it is currently by our bed, soon it will move to his own room.

My other sleep depriving activity is that Jack likes to wake up completely somewhere between 4:30-5:00AM. He wants to talk and that has become a morning routine with daddy. Janet sleeps and Jack and I talk for a half hour and I swear we understand each other. After that we go downstairs and he plays with toys or takes a walk with Auntie.

Now despite the fact that I do less work than I did with my previous children I am often sleepy, fatigued and just plain cranky. I need to determine whether I need sleep and a nap beckons, or whether I am fatigued, in which case activity helps. I rarely get it right and remain cranky. I am currently fatigued and thought that this writing might help, though I am not counting on it.

Jack has become a seasoned traveler. We have flown with him to Cebu, he has both his US and Philippines passports, and next month we are all leaving the Philippines on vacation for the first time in over three years. In fact, Jack’s brother, Julian, will be meeting us and we are all so excited. Anyone who knows me well knows that I will not possibly be able to hold back the emotions!

Jack also goes with his mom to Southern Cebu a couple times a month now to hang out with her family. He seems to enjoy it and more importantly, they love it. Once Janet has been back for a week, her mother invariably says, “I miss Jack,” and another trip is planned.

And this confirms what I hoped would happen. I don’t want to get into a big diatribe but I have noticed that in the US, and probably other Western countries, the attitudes toward babies has changed. In short they are no longer revered like they were when I was young.

But in the Philippines, where all social constructs are at least 50 years behind, everyone is baby crazy. It’s not just the family. We’re in the bank the other day and the Assistant Manager, who can be a bit prickly sometimes, was so excited about the baby and when are we gonna bring the baby into the bank. I find this true in general. Strangers who don’t know us and neighbors who barely know us want to know everything about Jack. Sometimes they want to hold him and usually we let them.

So, dear readers, that’s the latest. If you run into me in town chances are I will be tired and cranky – so be careful – but behind it all I am very happy!

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Memoirs of an Ancient Dad to Be

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Those who know us and maybe some who don’t, know that Janet and I are expecting a baby. Today Jackson Criss Pillazo Weisbord hit week 22; meaning the due date is the end of October.

While I am not gonna discuss all the details, Janet and I have been at this baby making thing for a long time. Before we married, nearly 9 years ago, she asked me if I was OK with having a baby. “Sure, I love babies,” I said. But I also reminded her that at my age (60 at the time) it could be a challenge.

Janet chose to do the right thing and we waited a couple years to get to know each other better and for her to acclimate to life in the US before we got serious about baby making. Once we started “trying” I wasn’t worried; after all I’d had my 2nd child in my late 40s. I quickly realized that late 40s isn’t the same as early 60s.

After some months and no pregnant Janet we went to a gynecologist. Lots of tests for Janet; ignore the old husband. The conclusion? There was no reason Janet could not get pregnant; go back at it and return if we are still not pregnant in 5 or 6 months.

Five or six months later we returned. More tests and again the conclusion that Janet was fine. I remember sitting in the corner of the room with the doc and Janet. I literally waved at the doctor. “What about the old husband?” I enquired. It was almost as if this was the first time she’d considered me. I was sent to a clinic to provide a semen sample which was, let us say, less than robust.

I went to my doctor. At least 25 years my junior he looked at me confused. “How about referring me to a urologist?” I suggested.

Off to the urologist I went. He tested me for one condition and I was fine. After trying to question him he admitted, “most of the research money for fertility issues goes to women.” Nonetheless he ordered a test or two and basically wished me good luck.

Back to my primary doctor. Since I was by then approaching retirement and planning on relocating to the Philippines, my doctor said, “maybe when you are retired in your tropical paradise, the stress will be less and you’ll be able to get pregnant.” This was the grand plan.

We happily retired and move to Dumaguete. Once settled in we went back to baby making with no positive results. After six months we found a local gynecologist. More tests on Janet and more pronouncements that she was fine. The gynecologist told us there were no fertility experts in Dumaguete and referred us to a doctor in Cebu.

Once in Cebu, more tests and another determination that Janet was baby-worthy. More tests on me and a determination once again that I was still a bit lacking in the swimmer category. Further tests and options were discussed and we decided to take a vacation in January 2020 and when we returned go back to Cebu and get serious.

You can guess the next step. The pandemic arrived and we cancelled our Cebu plans. Of course we thought this was only a few months and soon we would be revisiting the doctor, but 2020 passed with no babies in the hopper.

2021 began and I was diagnosed with skin cancer and that took all our energy and the next 8 or 9 months. But Janet was determined and made it clear that when I was well we would get serious. After all, the experience taught us that life was short and neither cancer nor covid should get in our way.

So while I was in our Valencia home, recovering, Janet was back in Cebu for more tests and treatments.

Now I am not going to get too far into the medical details; they’re boring anyway. We were back and forth to Cebu more times than I can count. But in the end Janet took two home pregnancy tests and the results were the same – a baby was on the way!

I was delighted but shocked. I had already prepared myself for dealing with a very sad, unpregnant, wife. Now I had a laughing and crying wife (me too).

Because of the difficulty getting pregnant the doc had Janet get tons of bed rest and put her on a regimen of meds and vitamins. Janet’s alarm goes off throughout the day for the next round of pills.

At a couple months pregnant we were back to our Dumaguete gynecologist. But an issue was discovered and the doctor admitted that she was not expert enough to treat it and referred us to a more specialized OB. Janet eventually had a minor procedure at Silliman Hospital to deal with the issue and we all believe she is now fine and will make it all the way to full term.

So in a sense life has returned to normal; that is except for the 5 month old baby who kicks Janet more and more. This past week our 3 year old nephew was over at our house. Tired, he laid on Janet’s tummy where Jack kicked him. Everyone was pretty excited.

I have been busy buying and ordering stuff. The last time I did this baby thing I actually bought everything at a store. Now it’s mostly Lazada and Shopee; deliveries come often.

I have had 5 months now to deal with the reality that I will be a 69 (almost 70) year old with a newborn. Now we will have help. Janet’s sister is an experienced Yaya (nursemaid) and is moving here in August.

On one hand I cannot fool myself; my energy ain’t what it was in my 40s. OTOH I don’t have to work, race kids to child care, and while I may still worry about money, I don’t have to worry about how this month’s mortgage will get paid as I did back then. We are in short, Ok financially.

Let me talk for a moment about the difference between the attitudes in the US and the Philippines. In the US no one wanted to know about our having a child. While they might accept our marriage no one wanted to ask about that baby stuff.

In the Philippines, when we would visit before retirement, the 1st or 2nd question always asked when we met someone new was, “Do you have kids? Are you planning to?” This was conspicuously different. If anything, over the years it bothered Janet, because of course she had to answer that – no we had no children but were trying. I know that it made her very sad.

But for me it was a happy question. Here in the Philippines having babies is an assumed result of getting married. Most of my 60+ year old friends here have young children with their partners and they are all happy that Janet and I will be joining the club.

When my first son was born 26 years ago when I was 43, friends asked, “Do you know how old you will be when he graduates high school, Dave?” I would reply testy, “I’m good at math and am an engineer. I know exactly how old I will be.” Now, no ones asks and I wouldn’t care if they did.

But I know the reality; there are no guarantees in life and I will stick with Jackson and Janet as long as possible and impart to my son as much as I can in as many years as I have.

The other day someone posted a quiz on Facebook: “How old were you or will you be when your child turns 18.” Needless to say, I was the only one who answered “87.”