The Philippines expat community is in an uproar and if you are familiar with some of these serious-minded men you know some serious shit must be happening.

Turns out there is a proposed bill in the Philippines legislature that might make it harder for a “foreigner” to marry a Filipina, at least within the Philippines and it’s got some expats quaking in their flip flops.

The bill is sponsored by Cebu Rep. Gwendolyn F. Garcia, who described her measure as a protection against “vagabonds or social and moral derelicts in their own country whose real motive is to abuse Filipino women…to take advantage and exploit our women by making them work for the family and worse, by sending them to prostitution and other degrading and dehumanizing occupations.”

“The exploitation of our Filipino women, through the so-called mail-order or pen-pal, Facebook, website-made, and other internet-made marriages, has not only caused untold miseries and suffering to our Filipino women but it has also brought dishonor and disgrace to the Filipino womanhood,” she said.

Note to self: Don’t disgrace or dishonor Filipino womanhood anymore by asking Janet what she’d like to make for dinner.

If the bill passes they are actually going to require the foreigner husband-to-be to document his income and prove that he is of good moral character.

The uproar among the expats mainly has to do with several areas of distress:

1. Distrust of government. Well, this is a generally good, libertarian type stance, I suppose. The Philippines Government ought to stay out of personal affairs whenever possible (ours certainly does :)), although potential charges of degradation and prostitution is somewhere I expect governments to be very involved – as an equal partner. In this case the guys were more worried that the estimated cost of said documents (1000 pesos = approx. $25) is just one more area where those thieves in Manila are ripping off poor foreigners who can already barely afford their daily ration of San Miguel.

2. That many of the guys in question don’t know what the term “good moral character” means, nor where to buy the document that says they have it.

3. That there is a general lack of respect for foreigners living in the Philippines, many of whom, hard to believe, are viewed as sex tourists. See the above “good moral character” definition.

4. General confusion because no one has used the word vagabond in fifty years and most guys think it has something to do with hitchhikers or backpakers. OTOH, most of the guys didn’t object to the use of the work derelict, which they assumed is used to accurately reflect their drinking habits.

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Since I am already married to my darling Janet and didn’t marry in the Philippines, the proposed law isn’t a big issue for me. But if all my brethren are up in arms than I figure that I had better investigate for the good of the order. Now where’s my bottle opener…

In the midst of my extensive investigation, coincidentally Janet asked me if I was aware of the bill. “Yes, I heard about it. Thank goodness we got married before I had to verify my moral character. And who knew that I was only interested in destroying Filipino womanhood.”

I did finally get around to asking her what she thought of the bill, since after all it would, at least in theory, make it harder for a couple like us to marry.

“I think it’s good,” she replied. “Many foreigners don’t take care of their wives, use them only as maids or treat them like sex slaves.” I may be a bit paranoid, but I didn’t like the look she gave me as she described these ne’er do well foreigner husbands.

“I don’t treat you like a maid,” I replied giggling. She gave me “the look.”

I am also aware that just as the expats are constantly sharing stories of the occasional bad Filipina wife, usually involving murder by bolo, Filipinas are often sharing stories about bad foreigner husbands. Janet often shares these internet stories usually asking me, “Did you hear about this foreigner who sold his wife into slavery in Iowa?”

She can be louder, more aggressive, manipulative, controlling, abrasive, hypersensitive, pfizer viagra sales demanding, cruel, blaming… Like most erectile dysfunction treatments, it can be relied upon to give you hardness where it counts for 4-6 hours (window period when an erection is cialis on line drugstore link possible). RC helicopters are prone to damage if they are not handled well. cheap cialis http://cute-n-tiny.com/tag/jerboa/ The massage therapist, http://cute-n-tiny.com/cute-animals/video-kitten-riding-a-turtle/ order levitra online very carefully presses the soft tissues of the body to thereby achieve avoid increasing cramping sensation and even pain. “Well if it’s in Iowa, he’s not a foreigner,” I’d calmly reply. The “look” would follow.

It took me about a day to complete my attitude adjustment. Apparently I hadn’t drunk enough San Miguels.

So let’s consider the outcome of the proposed law. Of course the following assumes the law passes and furthermore assumes it is thoroughly enforced; and when does that happen? But assuming both conditions, what might happen to Fil-Am marriages in the Philippines?

The guy who promises his girl that he is a rich kano with a $100k job who can take care of her for life, take care of her kids, take care of her family, the neighbors, hell the whole barangay is discovered to be an unemployed phone solicitor with a bank balance of -$127.

The guy who swears to his girl that he has never been married is found to have been married twice and was never exactly divorced – from either wife.

The guy who loves children and can’t wait to have another one with his Filipina fiancé, owes child support dating back to the Clinton administration.

The guy who claims he can retire early in the Philippines due to his business acumen, owes the IRS $250k in back taxes.

The guy who is highly moral and religious and attends mass weekly with his FIlipina, is wanted in five states and by the Feds for grand larceny, racketeering and transporting a white fish across state lines. OK, I stole the white fish bit from Woody Allen – always loved that line. I guess that thievery means I wouldn’t pass the Philippines requirements either.

Not that any of these guys are vagabonds or derelicts. They’re just living the good life in the Philippines.