Tag Archives: food

We “Poisoned” Our Workers :)

It was the beginning of November and our house (or at least the wall) was being built. Janet and I discussed what if anything we should do for our crew for Christmas.

I asked the question, “Should we give them a little cash?” Other suggestions included a bag of simple groceries. Janet proposed that she cook them lunch.

As the date approached we confirmed with our contractor that we would provide lunch for the crew on Friday December 21st. At the same time our friend, Kevin, was having construction done on his lot using the same contractor. In fact it was he who recommended his contractor, Romil, to us. I asked him what if anything he was intending to do for his crew for Christmas. A bag of food – rice and canned goods was his response. We both agreed that food was probably wiser than giving out cash. We then agreed to combine the crews and have the shindig on our lot.

I asked our contractor, Romil, how many we should expect and was surprised that the answer was 30. Romil explained that many of the crew work 3-4 days a week and so while we rarely see 15 men working, all told between the two crews, the grand total was 30.

Janet knew that her youngest sister, Miaca, would be with us the week before Christmas, as well as two young nieces, Hannah, and Juliana. So it was agreed that our girls would prepare the meal, while Kevin would handle the food bags.

Now what to feed the crew? Menu planning is practically a sport in the Philippines. You’re not just going into the supermarket and grabbing whatever is on sale. OK, that’s what I would do but not Janet and not any other Filipina around here.

After much discussion, Janet decided that the girls would prepare a pork and vegetable dish, we would buy a bunch of lechon manoks (chicken) from the largest retail seller of such chickens around, and then each worker would get a large serving of rice and a Coke Sakto. There’s been lots of debate on the Philippines forum I frequent about the meaning of the word sakto. Janet says it means “good enough.” The Coke Sakto size is I believe about 6 ounces. Now giving an American a 6 ounce drink at a party would at the very least lose you a friend for life, but here in the Philippines it’s an economical and reasonable thirst quencher for a snack or lunch. In short, it’s “good enough!”

I suggested to Janet that we go to the chicken place the day before and order the chickens to be picked up before lunch on Friday, The man there said, “I’m sorry but I cannot guarantee it.” He would not be working on Friday. “Can you call the guy who will be working on Friday?” “He can’t be reached,” I was told. “How about leaving him a note?” “Yes, but I can’t guarantee, Sir.” Perplexed, I looked for a solution. “When do you close tonight?” After being told they closed at 9:00 I asked whether he could prepare the chickens tonight and we would pick them up just before closing. The deal was made.

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At 8:30 we arrived. The chickens were cut, wrapped in aluminium foil and plastic and boxed up. Janet put them in the fridge when we got home. The next morning we heated up the pork dish Janet had made, as well as the chickens. We set up a small assembly line where Janet, the kids and I filled small lunch containers with pork, chicken and rice. In all we made 40 meals, packed everything into the car and drove to the work site.

A rudimentary table had already been set up for the food, which we laid out. At 12:00 the workers took their lunch break and fell in line to receive their lunches. They were very appreciative, equally so when they got their food gift bags from Kevin and his family.

We felt like we had done a really good thing for the hard working crew; well that is until late that night. Janet woke up in the middle of the night complaining of stomach pain. When I got up that morning I was told that she and two of the three girls had spent much of their night on the toilet.

Janet hadn’t eaten the pork so determined “it must have been the chicken.” Later I received a message from Kevin that much of the crew had stomach problems. He did not but he also had not eaten the chicken.

I felt fine and bragged about my cast iron stomach, since I had eaten a lot of the chicken. Unfortunately cast iron only lasts so long and a few hours later the bug hit me as well.

I messaged our contractor and apologised; he confirmed that he too had stomach problems.

At the end of the day, as we usually do, we visited our job site. The workers confirmed that they too had had problems. Janet thoughtfully had brought a few Immodium tablets and passed them out. What was unusual, though not unusual here in the Philippines, was that the men all were laughing and joking, had worked well that day, and continued to thank us for our efforts, despite having been “poisoned” by those efforts. In the U.S. they’d have already hired attorneys.

How Much Does it Cost to Live in the Philippines – An Idiot’s Guide

Preface: You will have to determine whether the “idiot” I referenced in the title is me or my potential readership. It’s a close call 🙂

——————–

If you’re a Philippines blogger or vlogger one thing that is expected of you is to post a Cost of Living piece. I know guys who do it annually or even more often. Why? Because they know that all of you want to read it and it drives up their readership/viewership.

So, that’s why I’m doing it 🙂

Of course, unlike a YouTube vlogger, there is no income for my doing this; only the satisfaction in knowing that several hundred (sometimes several thousand) of you wasted five minutes of your important life on my dribble. Life is good!

I have seen or read dozens of such Cost of Philippines Living posts. Let me summarize my opinion for you: they are all unadulterated nonsense. So, I’ve just saved you time and as they say time is money. So, by all means send me some.

OK, back on point. Why are such postings normally BS? Imagine I were to ask an American, “How much does it cost to live in the United States?” He might answer, “How the hell do I know? Do you mean live in a small town in the South or the San Francisco Bay Area?” “Do you need to own a car and what kind?” “How’s your company’s medical insurance.” “How many girlfriends do you have and how many does your wife know about?”

Sorry, I got side tracked.

In short you can live in the U.S. for $15,000/year or less and yet others claim in all seriousness that they cannot live for under $150,000/year; and they are not kidding.

The same is true in the Philippines. Do you live in a condo in Makati or a nipa hut so deep in the provinces that carabaos are beginning to look very very good to you?

Do you drive a motorbike or car or are you happy with trikes and jeepneys? Do you drink San Miguel or Red Horse? OK, there’s no financial different between those two.

Do you have one girl or five? While logically 5 should mean a higher budget, one can sometimes be more expensive. In my case the one I have would kill the other 4, so for me 1 is cheaper.

I can hear you all murmuring now: how much, how much, how much. So let me give you a few Dumaguete details and later on tell you why I think the question of “how much it costs” is irrelevant.

Rent: In Dumaguete it’s easy to rent an apartment or house for between 10k – 15k pesos, sometimes even less. Alright, for the lazy unwilling to Google the exchange rate, that’s about $200-300/month. You can certainly spend lots more, but you don’t have to.

Food: If you like to cook and eat simply, it’s easy to eat for between $100-200/month. If, like Janet and I, you like restaurants, it is actually not that much more expensive; perhaps add $100 to the budget. Janet and I rarely spend over 500P ($10) for dinner for two and often spend closer to 300P. Therefore sometimes it’s easier to eat out rather than cook.

Exception 1: If you require your favorite Western brands, and/or a weekly Australian steak, your budget will go up considerably. I hear British and German friends talk about obtaining their fave homeland foods and how much it costs. I roll my eyes. As an American there are three McDonalds and a really good sub shop in Duma, so I’m all set for American haute cuisine!

Exception 2: Do you have those 5 girlfriends I mentioned above? Then you’re not only feeding the girls, which isn’t that bad (they’re all tiny and eat like birds) but you’re feeding their friends and anyone in the restaurant who claims to be a friend. Expect your food budget to go up considerably.

Utilities: In the U.S. my electric and gas bill combined for about $200/month. Here I spend between 2500-3000P ($50-60) for electricity and that includes running an aircon most of the day. Our fiber Internet is about 2000P ($40). Janet and I pay about 600P ($12) for phone service. Garbage pickup is free in Valencia. Our Valencia water bill (and I am not making this up) has never been over 50P ($1) and sometimes there’s been no bill for the month at all. Of course Valencia water is only on about 2/3 of the time, but I still giggle whenever I get the bill. They actually pay someone to hand deliver the bill and pay cashiers to take your payment. It’s clearly a big money maker.
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Vices: If you smoke, cigarettes are dirt cheap. If you like beer, local San Miguel and Red Horse cost about 40P.  In short you can become a chain smoker and raging alcoholic without breaking your budget. I gotta get on it!

If you have a more sophisticated drinking habit, you can get nearly anything here. Johnny Walker Black Label is (I kid you not) available in any 7-11. Apparently there are many expats throughout the Philippines who go into 7-11s and get a pack of smokes, a bag of M&Ms, and a bottle of Johnny Walker Black!

Transportation: Trikes and Jeepneys are ridiculously cheap here in Duma and go most everywhere. OTOH gas is more expensive than in the US, so since I have a car, that is an expense. But my insurance bill is about half of what I paid in the U.S.

Most expats here have motorbikes, not cars. A lot of guys have told me they don’t have insurance because when you’re 75 and fall off a bike the last thing you’re thinking of is, ‘Yeah, but at least I’m well insured.’

Medical: Your view on medical expenses in the Philippines will vary dependent upon whether you are from the United Staes or nearly any other civilized Western country. If you’re from the U.S., Philippines medical expenses will seem dirt cheap. A doctor or dentist appointment will be $10 or less. Hospitalization will seem quite reasonable. But, if you’re from one of those Civilized countries where medical care is free, you may find the cost in the Philippines to be expensive. After all nothing can beat free.

Last week I had a doctor’s appointment. The visit was 500P (under $10) but the procedure she was going to do cost. The doctor apologized profusely about the cost. I wasn’t sure why. Turns out she studied in Canada, where the procedure would have been free. I explained that in the U.S. it would not have been free – far from it – and by all means let’s do it. I was not unhappy with the total price.

So depending on your budget and whether you have any kind of medical insurance (including PhilHealth) you may at some point find yourself hit with some serious  medical bills.

——————–

So let’s get back to why I think all the other estimates on costs in the Philippines are so nonsensical. Because, folks, it’s the wrong question. Most of us are retired and on some sort of fixed income. So the question isn’t “How much does it cost to live in the Philippines?” The question ought to be, “How much do I have and what kind of life will that support in the Philippines.”

Let’s say your Social Security check is $1000/month. That’s what you have and that’s all you have. There’s no point in wondering how much condos cost in Makati. So, can you live here on $1k/month? In Dumaguete you can. Now you won’t be living high on the hog and you can only afford one girl (OK, maybe two if you’re frugal) but you can do it. If you have an income of $2k/month you can live very well.

If you have followed this blog you know that there is no way I will ever tell you how much Janet and I make or how much we have. What are we – idiots? But while it’s not a lot, we have enough to deny ourselves nothing, have some extra for travel, and Janet gets to eat lechon at least occasionally.

There’s another fault that I see guys make when calculating a budget. They only take into account their standard monthly bills: rent, utilities, food, gas, medical, etc.

I’m not just talking about major medical emergencies, which can be budget killers. I’m talking about normal shit that happens all the time, but when you worked you had enough extra to cover it: your phone dies, your car breaks down, you need new tires for your bike, you have to pay to extend your visa, you need to hire someone to clean your pool (ok, bad example).

If you’ve budgeted well you’ve added a pad to cover those life extras. If not, then pretty soon they eat into your monthly bills and that’s when you hear guys complain about how it’s really expensive in the Philippines. It’s not if you apply just a little bit of caution.

 

 

 

Has the U.S. Changed or Have I?

Janet and I just returned from a two week whirlwind trip back to the U.S.  and we’re glad to be back home. Yes, I said home because Dumaguete is now home for us, not Portland.  Now, before I get into my standard wiseassed set of remarks about how I found life in the U.S., I should say that we loved seeing our family and friends and therefore don’t want the following to be considered criticism of our loved ones. That said, some of you are nuts 🙂

Here’s what struck me:

Friendliness: Our last flight on our long trip was a short prop plane hop from Seattle to Portland. As we were preparing to land they announced that there were two passengers with very tight connections and would everyone wait in their seats while the two passengers de-planed first. They repeated the request a few minutes later. Well you can guess the result. The moment the plane stopped at the gate half the people were up and in the aisle. Janet and I looked around, I shrugged and said, “Welcome back to the U.S.”

Attractiveness: I clearly have been ruined by the Philippines but most Americans struck me as – well, you know – butt ugly. And yes, I will acknowledge that you can throw me into that category also. Janet and I were in a mall and I sat down to wait for her; maybe 40 minutes. Bored to death I decided to count how many attractive people passed by me. Now, I’m not talking about 10s, or models or porn stars; just ordinarily attractive women or men. In 40 minutes the total was – zero. Ok, there were a couple of cute kids, but that’s it. Plenty of plump girls in undersized halter tops. Plenty of hideous tats and piercings. Plenty of guys holding up their shorts. But not one even vaguely attractive human being. If I sit down in Robinsons in Duma and watch for 40 minutes, small amounts of drool will start pouring down till Janet will feel the need to clean me up; that is after giving me a whack on the head.

Speaking of the malls,  when did they get this boring? On the flip side, the Walmart in Gresham, Oregon wasn’t as bad an experience as I recalled at other Walmarts and I actually (and I am not making this up) bought something there; a nice Kershaw knife. Civilization is coming to an end when Walmart beats the malls.

Weather: Portland weather is not usually the city’s biggest selling point, but my God it was June and several days didn’t break the 50s and most of the days were in the 60s. We did have a couple of nice 80s days, but they were aberrations. By the end I couldn’t wait to get back to Dumaguete heat and humidity. Thank God I can sweat again!

Eating: I was prepared or so I thought. I knew that the restaurant portions are larger than in Duma where let’s face it, restaurants have to feed small people, not gigantic Americans. But after a week we were ready to explode. Now, even in Dumaguete, Janet and I often share an entree; there’s a reason senior portions are smaller; we just can’t eat like we used to. But when we asked to share an entree in Portland we found that two full plates were delivered to us. The food was good of course but I simply could not keep up.

And at our friends’ home (they were kind enough to put us up and put up with me) the excess continued. Gallon ketchup bottles. A jug of mouthwash you could swim in. Now, that I live in a culture in which portions are usually enough for today, it was odd being back in a culture of excess. In the Philippines you can buy a Coke Sakto; Sakto loosely translates to “enough” or “good enough.” So a Coke Sakto is 4 ounces; enough to wet your whistle. In the U.S. 4 ounces is just enough to cause fighting in the streets.

Annual sales of all 3 ED drugs are a revelation for patients who are living with erectile Dysfunction Impotence condition causes strain on cialis discount canada a couple. This will make the users the possibilities of better pennies enlargement, production and ejaculation. cialis tadalafil generic The only mechanism cialis order required by the person is to stimulate the body. So buy levitra online if you’re experiencing erectile dysfunction, don’t be depressed as there are numerous ways to treat them is using natural ayurvedic supplements in the form sex tablets and oils. They’re All Mental: I was prepared but not really. Prepared because I knew how bad it had gotten before I left. That said I don’t watch what passes for the news in the U.S., avoid it all on FB and the other social media. I’d say I’m not interested in debate but the truth is I love debate. But none of what passes for political discourse in the United States could be called debate.

I tried everything to avoid. My go to strategy is usually to nod my head and ignore the conversation. Didn’t work. I’d try to change the subject. “Looks like cold and rain today,” I’d say. “Trump’s screwing with the weather,” would be the answer.

I even tried telling the truth. “You know I’m retired in the Philippines and don’t listen to the news much.” Or even more truth. “You know I’m retired in the Philippines so as long as my Social Security check clears, I don’t care.” Nothing worked.

In the end, I have my opinions, none of which have anything to do with politics but more with the stress and mental illness in my home country. While getting away from that is not the reason we moved to the Philippines it is a side benefit of the move.

All that said, I like my friends, love my loved ones, and will listen as long as they want to talk to me; of course as I listened I thought of getting back to my tropical paradise where right now I am happily de-stressing.

 

 

 

Dave’s Tips For a Successful Fil-Am Marriage – Volume 1

It recently occurred to Janet and I that we are approaching our 2nd anniversary. This blog was originally dedicated to describing the joys of a newly-wedded Fil-Am couple. At almost 2 years I may have to change the focus to a mature and experienced Fil-Am couple; cranky even (OK, that’s just the male half of the couple).

In addition, in my previous forays into marriage I visited many couples therapists. Usually these pleasant engagements occurred when my ex would sweetly say, “honey – go with me to therapy or get the hell out!”

I counted the other day (this is how exciting my daily life is) and came up with six different couples therapists I have seen, though fortunately none with Janet. In addition, there was the couples therapy group I was a member of for several years. Of the eight couples that worked successfully together to improve their marital lives, I am pretty sure that one or two pairs are still married.

The point of all this is that clearly I am now an expert in the area of Fil-Am marriage (and marriage in general) and so finally feel capable of dispensing “Dave’s Tips For a Successful Fil-Am Marriage.” Read it at your own risk. You have been warned!

1. Learn to speak her language: No, I am not talking about learning Tagalog or Visayan, though that’s not a bad idea and I know one or two guys who have actually learned to speak Filipino well enough to not be laughed at throughout the Philippines.

Me? Janet has taught me the Visayan words for all the body parts (or at least the good ones) as well as a few intimate acts. When Janet told her mother what she had taught me her mother yelled, “Why would you teach him that!” Because it’s fun – that’s why. At age 62 I now get to talk dirty in a new language and am having a blast.

But actually what I meant when I said you should learn her language – is English. English, you ask? That’s what we Americans and Canadians and British and Australians speak. That’s the language our Filipina brides ought to learn better. That’s the language we, as native speakers, ought to be teaching our Filipina brides. Wrong!!

Don’t kid yourself: it’s not your responsibility to teach her English. It’s your responsibility to learn her English! Think you’re gonna get her to stop using terms like “nosebleed,” or “open/shut the light?” Nor could I ever get Janet to stop calling me “Sir Dave.” Come to think about it why would I want her to stop 🙂

Despite the fluency of many Filipinas, English can be tricky. Lately, Janet’s gotten into baking. The other day she asked if she could find “coqua” here. She described it as a chocolate baking powder. I assured her that chocolate baking powder was easy to get but I didn’t know about coqua. “I’ll look it up. How do you spell it?”

“Cocoa,” she answered.

“Oh, you mean cocoa.”

“No, coqua.”

“Don’t worry. We can get some Hershey’s coqua at the store.”

So bone up on your Filipino English, guys. You’re gonna need it.

2. Find the best place for lechon: There’s the old adage “a way to a man’s heart is through his stomach.” In this case your silo of a stomach is irrelevant. You’re a kano; you can eat whatever crap kanos eat. But she will miss all of her native foods.

Before Janet arrived I thought I had done the right thing. I’d bought a rice cooker, and a good one at that, and scoped out several Asian markets and a Filipino restaurant. ‘That should do it,’ I thought. Wrong! Despite the stereotype that they are poor Filipinas who mostly subsist on rice, and only white rice at that, her palate is as varied as yours; for example, sometimes KFC will do and other times is has to be Popeyes 🙂

But seriously, just as if you lived abroad you might miss a New York steak, your fave gouda, or if you’re me, Kraft Mac and Cheese, she will miss all her favorites. Sometimes you will look everywhere and find something and declare “Eureka! I found it,” only to be told that that brand isn’t very good. Janet has been trying to find a good chicharon (pork rinds) for 2 years with no success. Sure we can find chicharon but not the good stuff. BTW, for those really interested, Carcar is the chicharon capital of the Philippines, so if you want the good stuff it’s only 8000 miles (and a 2 hour drive south of Cebu City) away.

BTW, for those really interested, Carcar is the chicharon capital of the Philippines, so if you want the good stuff it’s only 8000 miles (and a 2 hour drive south of Cebu City) away.

You can include leafy greens such as kale, collard greens, turnip greens, spinach levitra prescription and roman lettuce in your daily diet. http://cute-n-tiny.com/tag/monkey/ commander levitra These symptoms may appear for months or years. In the midst of all this male levitra online cheap thing, our hair starts to drop out and, almost without exception, we start to go bald. It cheapest viagra in australia has a user-friendly website (you will find the link below) and with a few clicks of your mouse button. Sometimes it’s the simplest things. When we first arrived Janet wanted corned beef. No problem, I told her, and picked up a can of Hormel’s. “Yuck,” she said. “This is not corned beef.” “It says corned beef and it’s made by Hormel, the king of junk meat,” I replied.

All the Asian stores we have been to do not carry real Philippines corned beef and Janet has been missing it. But then a miracle happened. A couple weeks ago for her birthday a friend brought Janet a couple of tins of corned beef. A certain amount of begging was required to get the friend to reveal her special source. These are the sorts of things you must do to keep your wife happy and avoid the couples therapist, who wouldn’t know where Filipino corned beef can be gotten anyway.

3. Get to know (and like) the family: I know, I know. You married her, not her family. You have enough troubles dealing with your own family and if you’re like me you deliberately live thousands of miles away from your ancestral home and return rarely. And of course you and your bride live many thousands of miles away from the Philippines. And even if you two eventually decide to live in the Philippines, you will heed the words of many wise expats and live two islands away from the family; that’ll keep you from having to deal with them. Umm – not quite!

Janet has nine brothers and sisters and while it’s taken two years of intensive study, I now know all their names and pretty much know who is who. Since I am told about them in intimate detail, I figured I might as well learn to accept that fact. So should you.

But if you’re fool enough to listen to me, you ought to take it a step further – get to know the family and like them.

We’ve returned each year to Janet’s hometown in Alcoy and frankly the family, while happy to see Janet, seems fascinated to see me. Actually, they seem most fascinated that I am interested in them and wish in some small way to be part of them. As I’ve detailed before, the kids are shy, but watch what I do like a hawk.

I suppose when it comes to the family, the greatest fear on the part of many husbands of Filipinas is financial. We hear horror stories and figure the easiest way to not have our cash parted from us, until we’re cold and dead,  is to stay far from the family.

While I suppose it’s a risk, I just don’t agree. Get to know her family, her friends.  Soon they will spill the beans on your bride and tell you everything imaginable. You want to know everything don’t you? No? Then why did you marry a Pinay?

And if someone asks for money (that you don’t have or don’t wish to give), describing in their best English what they need the money for – tell ’em you’re having a nosebleed.

Tip of the Day: If you’re visiting or moving to the Philippines and are worried that everyone will think you are the aforementioned rich kano – well, you’re right. Every cousin, hell even lolo, is on Facebook. They know the car you drive, the clothes you wear, the square footage of your house, what version of iPhone you have, etc. Why? Because you are an idiot and post all these things!

So what’s my tip? Think Jed Clampett. Remember the Beverly Hillbillies, where Jed had something like $60 million, back in the day when $60 mil was real money? Did he drive a Mercedes, dress in Armani, and post it all on FB? Nope. Here’s how he rolled. Do the same and you won’t be considered the rich kano. Or, only somewhat rich 🙂

first_shot_beverly_hillbillies

 

 

 

 

 

 

The Dried Fish Issue

Filipinas nearly universally love dried fish. Their foreign husbands universally hate it. The smell of cooking dried fish is worse than that rodent that died under the hood of my car decades ago, and since in those days I never popped the hood until the oil light came on, I didn’t discover it until the stench was so great I nearly passed out driving.

The smell of cooking dried fish is worse than that rodent that died under the hood of my car decades ago…

I asked Janet why dried fish smells the way it does. “They dry it in the hot sun.” And probably don’t bring it in from the hot sun until it’s turned to leather, I thought. OK, so now I understand why it stinks though not why Filipinos dry it that way.

Even more interesting to me is Filipinas husbands’ hatred of the dried stuff. Every culture has stinky and disgusting foods. Certainly the origins of haggis are far more nauseating than dried fish. Kimchee brings me near to barfing. Among many stinky cheeses, the king is Limburger, a cheese which only Curly of the Three Stooges could love. From my own culture, there’s gefilte fish, which I love though it’s basically made from the cheapest, nastiest fish that can be obtained.

Let’s not even talk about liver, a stomach churner when cooking if ever there was one. Yet my mother made chopped chicken liver on holidays and I could consume any given quantity spread on crackers, as if it were candy.

Durian
Durian

In fact, dried fish is not even the worst smelling food in the Philippines. First there’s durian, the only food illegal to transport in some Southeast Asian countries due to it’s odor; a fresh fruit, not fermented or dried, durian’s stench is such that it can hit me in a large market hundreds of feet away and knock me flat. I’ve tried it and all I can say is that it does taste better than it smells, but so probably did that dead rodent in my engine compartment.

Balut

Then there’s balut, considered a delicacy in the Philippines. A duck embryo, it’s boiled alive and eaten in the shell. Yum. I don’t know how it smells since I’ve never gotten close enough to find out – and I’m keeping it that way.

So really, dried fish has a long way to go in the disgusting department. Yet the guys always are repulsed. I know many who won’t let their wives cook it even if they aren’t around. Two of my friends decided they would be men about it; meaning problem solvers. Like me, they’re engineers (of sorts) so I’d expect nothing less. They bought their wives electric frying pans, so the wives could cook their dried fish outside. They figured if the women want the dried fish badly enough, cooking out on the porch in zero degree winter weather is a small price to pay. I questioned the knight-like qualities of one of the princely husbands, who said, “I told her when we married that there would be no dried fish cooked in the house. Hey, I bought the electric frying pan, didn’t I?” Good point; perhaps I’m being too hard on my friends.

Janet understands our Westerner view of dried fish and tries to accommodate me. She opens the windows and doors and turns on the kitchen fan when she cooks her fave dried fish, to no avail. My teenage kids complain. “Go play in the backyard if it bothers you,” I tell them, knowing that as modern teenagers they haven’t played in the backyard since the Bush administration.

As a fish lover, I’ve tasted dried fish and it’s not as terrible as it smells. So really, I don’t mind too much when Janet wants to cook it. I’m only appalled when Filipinas eat it for breakfast. How, I wonder, can you possibly start the day with such a stink. On the other hand, Filipinas consume pork for breakfast, hot dogs, and spam, so dried fish isn’t too far of a reach.

I had figured my friends as unusually tough on their wives until we returned to Alcoy this spring. I rented a small apartment from a German man. He’d built two apartments behind his very nice home. And at 500 pesos/night ($12) the price was certainly right. But upon entering the apartment’s kitchen, the sign said it all…”Sorry, we cannot allow cooking Dried fish!”

No dried fish
No dried fish

Apparently, I’m a bit of a pansy when it comes to the dried fish issue.