I’ve written about it before. Contrary to popular believe, I have been able to get most everything I want in the Philippines. Even obscure items or items whose existence has no logic here – I’ve found them. Now often you have to do some digging. The first time I was in Robinsons I was shocked by the sight of Philly Cream Cheese. ‘What the hell do they have Philly for here in the Philippines – the bagels and lox?’ But they do and while it is sometimes “Out of stock,” when it’s there I buy a couple tubs.

Speaking of my ethnic foods, Robinsons also has Challah bread and it’s damn good. I don’t question the reason they have it, I just enjoy it.

Most hardware stores have cheap Chinese-made tools and often that’s good enough. But my fave hardware store, Rejoice, has a row of Klein tools. Klein is a US brand and arguably the best in the world at what they make. ‘What the hell are they doing with $50 pliers in the Philippines,’ I wonder. Don’t know but they’re there.

As a guitar maker and repair person I can get just about any part or tool I need from Lazada or Shopee, delivered to my doorstep and cheap. I order American brand vitamins, and my favourite cologne. You may have to do some searching but it’s mostly all available.

And once in a while when I really want something that’s a bit more high end or specialised I order it from the US or UK or Australia. It’s not tough.

But recently and for the first time since we’ve been here, Janet and I have been depressed because we couldn’t get something important to us – hash browns.

I got addicted to hash browns the last couple years of my employment. Approaching retirement, I had started going in to work early, so I could leave early, and began eating breakfast at the cafeteria. Eggs and hash browns were my favourites.

At some point I got Janet hooked as well. When we moved here I was pleasantly surprised to see Carnation hash browns at Hypermart. For joy for joy! When Hypermart was out of stock, Robinsons had them in stock. For two and a half years that has been our routine; a couple packs of hash browns a week and Janet and I had breakfast together.

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But then 3 weeks ago Hypermart was “out of stock.” We went to Robinsons. They were “out of stock” too. We weren’t too concerned. But a week went by and they weren’t at either store. No more happy breakfast with Janet; just grumbling. “I miss hash browns,” we’d cry.

Janet, being a fine cook and wonderful person said, “I can make them I’m sure.” “Don’t worry,” I said. “They’ll be back soon.” But they haven’t been. Life is not good.

Yesterday we were desperate enough that we actually asked a Manager at Robinsons when they’d be coming in. She just did a song and dance about waiting for orders from Manila. We knew it was BS, but we clung to the hope.

We’re like addicts missing our drug of choice. Hell we’d even buy the cheaper Robinsons brand of hash browns, but they’re out of stock too.

I may have to start getting breakfast at McDos and buying that crusty piece of shit they call a hash brown. Lord, spare me from that degradation!

So I walk around our lot depressed. My shop no longer excites me. I yell at the dog. My morning eggs sit on their plate and look lonely. I’m getting desperate. I may have to buy some potatoes and learn to make the damn things myself.