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Rude Foreigners

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So we’re sitting in the USSC store in Robinsons Mall waiting to get served. We filled out a little form and got a number. Yes, in the Philippines there are still places that you “take a number.” Turns out our number was to be the last one called before the employees took their lunch hour. USSC must be rare because a lunch hour is almost never an hour in the Philippines.

Several people walked in afterwards and were politely informed that there would be no more service until after lunch. Then an elderly (defined as older than me) foreigner walked in, was politely informed of the upcoming lunch break. He got pissed off, yelled, threw out an F-bomb and stormed off. There was no reason for the tantrum. He was treated politely and told he could come back after the break.

This is behavior that Janet and I witness pretty regularly in Dumaguete and most of the time the offender is a foreigner.

Now as it turns out that while Janet and I were the last to be served before the break and therefore the office was empty by the time it was our turn, we were missing a crucial document to finalize our business and were told if we brought it in that day, we would be served right away without needing a number or waiting.

We returned a couple hours later. In the interim we had talked about the rude foreigner. As the USSC Clerk was finalizing Janet’s business I decided to ask a question or two. “Do you often have rude foreigners?” I asked. She smiled at me. “Only one today, Sir.” I laughed. “Well I know who that was. His behavior was ridiculous.”

“If he comes back, I will of course treat him respectfully,” she said. “But he did say the f-word.” She and the other clerk had heard and would not be forgetting. Clearly she considered it part of the job, but it also stung the employees there.

A few week ago we were in the bank. Simultaneously there were two rude foreigners. One cut ahead in line since his concern had to be handled immediately. It wasn’t. He stormed off, returned about five minutes later to vent again at someone else.

In the meantime another elderly (aka, older than me) foreigner was sitting next to me making a request of the banker that would never be granted in any bank in the Western world. When he was politely informed what would be required to meet his request, he grumbled, cursed under his breath about the lousy country and terrible customer service.

We observe behavior like this a couple times a week at least. It saddens me for what I realize is a foolish reason; that it reflects badly on me. It doesn’t of course but I feel like it does.

Now going back to the experience at USSC, while conversing with the Clerk about rude foreigners, she admitted she was worried that I was going to react similarly when she told us we would have to come back to finalize our business. I laughed but felt bad. “Of course I wasn’t mad. Now my wife? That’s another matter.” Janet playfully hit me.

My life wasn’t over after all! To my surprise there were plenty of http://cute-n-tiny.com/tag/mac/ online cialis treatment options at my disposal. It is generally advised that you do not have to go out and run a marathon either. online levitra prescription Plus, buying generic viagra smoking can purpose several health problems consisting of heart disorder, high blood strain, low testosterone, and so on. bad lifestyle has already a toll at the sexual fitness of millions of men. In the old age, men used to suffer from ailments like weak immune system, low sex drive, low semen volume or no semen at all and then order generic viagra inevitably it moved on to not being able to prevent or slow its growth is attractive. In the car on the way home Janet and I once again talked about this. Now the point isn’t that Filipinos never get mad or never behave rudely – of course they do. But the rude behavior from a minority population (the foreigners) is hard to ignore.

For over two years in the US Janet worked in a supermarket. She had rude customers every day. It was a big part of her indoctrination into life in America. She quickly learned to give it back as much as take it. My wife is sweet as can be, but has a quick tongue when mistreated.

So why we asked ourselves did this all bother us so much; we both were used to it in the US. And that I suppose was the answer. In the US witnessing or being confronted by rude  people is a daily event and we realized that here in the Philippines while it does happen, it’s uncommon enough to be more noticeable.

One more story, not that I am trying to prove anything. Early that evening we went into the grocery store. The cashier is ringing up our items. The Filipina behind us in the line asked “where’s the divider” – the bars you put to keep your items separate from someone else’s. In my modest experience, most stores in the Philippines do not have these dividers. The clerk looked at her with that deer in the headlights look. “There are no dividers,” I said. The lady huffed.

I handed the clerk my debit card – my debit card from our Philippines bank account. Now debit cards here are not quite as reliable as in the US. Sometimes it goes through, sometimes it doesn’t and sometimes the clerk has to put it through as a credit instead of a debit, and sometimes you’re just best off having cash.

The woman behind me spoke up in perfect English. “You have to select credit for a foreign debit card,” she announced. I turned to her and politely said, “It’s not a foreign debit card.” The clerk continued to struggle with my card. The woman behind me announced again, because clearly the clerk was too stupid to have understood, ” You have to select credit for a foreign debit card.” I turned back to face her again but less politely and repeated, “It’s not a foreign debit card.”

The clerk continued to struggle with my card and mumble apologies. And once again the woman stated her view, “You have to select credit for a foreign debit card.” I finally got it. The woman may have once been a Filipina but she was clearly now an American. I glared at her and snarled, “It’s – not – a – foreign – debit – card!” Janet calmed me down. “Just pay cash,” which I did.

So you see, it’s not just foreigners who are rude in the Philippines. It’s Fil-Ams too 🙂

PS: Based on further thought and a few of the comments I have received I wanted to add something. Now this may be splitting hairs, but here goes. I think there is a difference between inconvenient/ annoying behavior and rude behavior. You’re driving down the road. A little old lady is slowly crossing the street and you have to stop and wait. It’s annoying. You drum your fingers along the steering wheel. But she’s not doing it to personally harm or offend you. OTOH, if you stick your head out the window and yell, “Hey old lady, get the “f-word” out of the damn street,” – well that’s rude behavior.

 

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The Philippines is Just the Same as the U.S.

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Now I know the theory in the title seems like an oxymoron (or maybe I’m the oxy-moron) but bare with me – it’s brilliant 🙂

I’m on a couple forums where guys say they’ve been to the Philippines and it’s terrible. Now, tastes are different, no place is for everyone, etc. But what really shocks me are assertions that Filipina women are unattractive, unavailable to Western men, dumb, and most egregious of all – not sexy. I have been to the Philippines six times and started thinking I’d accidentally gotten off the plane in the wrong country – six times.

While issues like food, weather, beaches, culture, friendliness might be subject to personal tastes and interpretation, sexy Filipinas and their availability to Americans surely cannot be.

As my friend, Dave DeWall, says, “even a poor sap can have a face like a dog’s butt and still seem attractive to many of the cute Filipinas residing in the Philippines.” You can’t get much more definitive than that!

As my friend, Dave DeWall, says, “even a poor sap can have a face like a dog’s butt and still seem attractive to many of the cute Filipinas residing in the Philippines.”

The first time my friend, Pete, arrived in the Philippines, he couldn’t even get out of the airport before getting hit on. Now I will admit that Pete is a pretty tall, decent looking middle-aged guy; he’s also pale with a long nose, a big plus with Filipinas. Going through immigration, the immigration lady smiled, stamped his passport and said, “Welcome to the Philippines, Mr. Guapo.” Guapo means handsome, for the uninitiated.

I started to wonder, how could I have had such a different experience than the naysayers? Granted, my face is a little better looking than a dog’s butt, but not by that much.

After years of intensive sociological research, I think I have come up with an answer. And here’s why the Philippines is just like the U.S. – at least regarding “meeting” women.

——

The United States has always been known as the “land of opportunity.” Ask anyone who’s never been here. Every single day an American sees ads for high-end merchandise, luxury cars being driven by men with attractive wives and 2.5 kids. He drives through neighborhoods with million dollar houses, and reads about the lifestyles of the rich and famous. And many of us go home and moan “why not me?” It’s one of the great frustrations and cause of much angst and anger in the U.S. How can an idiot like Donald Trump with that monstrosity on top of his head have so much, and we have so little? Life sucks and the portions are so small.

When it comes to meeting women, the Philippines is the “land of opportunity.” In a future post I will detail my further sociological theories on why Filipinas love men in general, often love foreign men, even with the aforementioned dog’s butt face. But for now, let’s just assume I’m right. If you need further proof, just look at the pictures of me and Janet. I’ll wait.

OK, you’re back and I proved my point, right?
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So a guy saves his pennies and heads for the Philippines. He is not accosted in the airport or anywhere else. He is shocked to see few attractive women; perhaps he’s fond of blonds with big boobs and finds to his surprise that there are very few blonds with big boobs in the Philippines!

Of course there was the girl he met in EDSA, but turns out she was expensive and in fact not totally a girl.

So now our frustrated tourist or expat becomes angry. “False advertising!” he yells. It’s not enough for him to say that he didn’t enjoy his experience or lick his wounds and acknowledge he hadn’t found the right girl for him, although truth be told, he was still texting with that cute EDSA ladyboy.

No, he must claim that no one can find a decent woman in the Philippines. He screams that the guys who claim success either need glasses or their women are, dare I say it – poor. Yes, “alert the media,” most people in a developing nation are poor. The guy in question wants a blond with big boobs and disposable cash. Add to the fact that he wants a girl conversant in all aspects of his Western culture, who will sleep with him on the first date, and screw like a porn star. So, he concludes, Filipinas suck, and not in a good way.

But what’s his true frustration? He walks around Manila, Cebu or even ventures into small provincial Philippines, sees Western men with their Filipina girlfriends or wives, and kids too, and doesn’t get it. The guys he sees have the proverbial dog’s butt face, plus Trump’s hair, but with wives half their age, and they’re not half bad. Therefore it must be that the guys have money and spread it around and that the girls are bad and “only” interested in the guys’ money.” That’s it – that must be the reason! After all, our naysayer in question is probably a bit younger; too young to admit his face is also in dog butt territory.

So, like the American, angry about the money all around him that he can’t get for himself, our tourist is angry about all the seemingly available women he can’t get in bed. And thus I have proven that for some, the frustration in the Philippines is the same as in the U.S.

——-

So where’s the disconnect here and what’s the solution? Contrary to some beliefs, Filipinas do have standards. You just need to understand what they are looking for. Most are not interested in being your “vacation girlfriend.” I have already told the story of my asking Janet to meet me the first time I went to the Philippines. She knew I was meeting others and was not interested in my “collecting and selecting.” It wasn’t until almost a year later that we finally met.

However, Filipinas might be interested in you if you:

1. Are interested in a long-term or permanent relationship. While there are exceptions, most Filipinas will not volunteer to be part of your Asian sex tour. But if you express an interest in a genuine relationship that “might” lead to marriage – you’ve satisfied qualification one.

2. You have your shit together! If I have to explain what this means, then you probably don’t. You’re unmarried, employed, have a decent place to live. You’re mature and have life knowledge. If you have kids, you take care of them. In short – you’re not a bum. This disqualifies a lot of the guys who visit the Philippines.

3. You are at least willing to try to learn about her country, culture and family. While you don’t need to run out immediately and learn Tagalog or Visayan, show an interest in the country and in her family. Just referring to everyone as the “locals” might not be adequate.

——

So these are some of my basic recommendations for a foreigner visiting the Philippines. One other thought: if you’re actually handsome, genuinely guapo, with a face not remotely in dog’s butt territory, you might consider passing up the Philippines. You’ll never get out alive.