Blog

Back to the Beach (Boracay)

Leave a comment

“Just when I thought I was out… they pull me back in.” Michael Corleone, Godfather III.

So in our last episode of As the PI Turns, my frugal and lovely wife had decided not to go to Boracay and I booked five days in beautiful Camiguin.

That meant that the first week of our upcoming three week vacation was set. The last week would be spent in Alcoy, Cebu, Janet’s wonderful home town on the beach.

This left six days in between. While nothing had been booked we had a tentative plan. OK, truth be told – I had a tentative plan; a few days on the West side of Cebu, checking out Moalboal and the falls at Badian, and then taking the bus south to the tip of Cebu and crossing into Negros and heading for Dumaguete. A day on Apo Island, across from Dumaguete was a strong possibility. Then cross back into Cebu again, heading north about an hour to Alcoy. Don’t you just love it when a plan comes together!

Now, it just so happens that my good friend and mentor, Pete, had taken his lovely Filipina wife, Cathy, to Thailand for a much needed vacation. For days we got to see the great pictures on FB of their trip to Bangkok and Phuket. Janet and I spent a week in Thailand a couple years ago and had a good time – although I always thought I had a bit better time than Janet did.

For one thing Janet struggled with the Thai food, which is much spicier than anything in the Philippines. But her biggest issue was that virtually every Thai person we met took one look at Janet and assumed she was Thai. They immediately began speaking Thai to her – I mean every single person – for a week! She looked like a deer in the headlights. I’d have to come in and say, “She’s not Thai. She’s Filipina,” which would create a surprised response, each one claiming how much Janet looked like she was Thai. Frankly, some looked at us as if they thought I was lying.

So, I was a bit surprised when she suddenly said, “We have six days. Maybe we should go to Bangkok.” It took me a pained minute to change the focus of my brain, but I quickly adjusted. Over dinner I began looking at flight schedules. After all, she reasoned, we would be in the Cebu airport in the early morning after returning from Camiguin; we might as well stay there and go somewhere else. I checked flights for Thailand, Vietnam (where I spent a wonderful week several years ago, before meeting Janet), Bali, Singapore, Hong Kong. I even checked out what it would take to get to Beijing, a place I have always wanted to visit.

In each case there were layovers that meant that we wouldn’t arrive at a destination until early the next day. While I was excited about the possibility of taking Janet to another country, I was not excited about spending a day in another airport. The six days would essentially end up becoming four.

I went to the website of my favorite Philippines airline, Cebu Pacific, the airline with bright orange planes, cute orange flight attendants, and a slow as Philippines molasses website. I began just typing in the destinations listed on the website for any destination that might coordinate with our schedule.

And then, just for fun, I checked out flights to Boracay. Now remember, just a couple weeks before, wise Janet had rejected Bora because of it’s $500+ airfare for the two of us. But here I plugged in my dates, just a week later than what I had looked at before, and to my surprise discovered that the flights were $200 less. For me it was just an intellectual exercise; a curiosity. I mentioned it to Janet.
Storage : Tablets should be stored at room cialis overnight delivery temperature between 59 and 86 degrees F (15-30 degrees C) away from moisture, heat and light and out of the reach of children. It is very frustrating when you price for generic viagra are just about to reach climax. It has effectively eradicated smallpox in the world in San Francisco and has published cialis from canada many books about tattoo art. Moreover you will not get any valid license at the end of the course, which allows them to better and easier to get rid of excess tadalafil cost fat.
Well you guessed it. “Let’s go to Boracay!” she declared.

“But you just said two weeks ago that you didn’t want to go. That after all it was only a beach with snorkeling and island hopping on a crowded touristy island.”

“But it’s much cheaper now.” Of course cheaper is relative. The flight’s cheaper than Thailand, cheaper than Vietnam and all the other countries. And $200 cheaper than it was for the previous week. Suddenly, Boracay was a steal!

I am nothing if not a devoted husband, determined to keep his wife happy. I booked the flight and booked the Island Jewel hotel, the hotel I had stayed at once before, as I detailed in our last episode. We will spend four days in Boracay, leaving two days left for a quick stop in Moalboal and Badian before our return to Alcoy.

The saying goes, “Happy wife – happy life.” Well I’m happy too. The GoPro ought to get a pretty good workout!

Addendum: I will be doing some video blogs of the trip, so get ready to see the real Philippines; or at least the real PI from my warped perspective.

 

 

 

Blog, Story

Camiguin and I Win Big Time!

6 Comments

It’s about two months till we return to the Philippines. As excited as Janet is to see her family and home, I may be even more excited! I really like the place and can’t wait for some serious heat and humidity. I’m ready to tear my coat off, throw on some sandals, shorts and shades and soak in what’s become my second home.

Our vacation will entail three weeks in the Philippines. The last week is easy. We’ll spend it in Alcoy, Cebu, Janet’s hometown, with her family. I am looking forward to seeing them again and looking forward to seeing Alcoy again – it’s a beautiful spot. And it makes Janet happy to be there and I will get the credit – so there’s that, as well.

But what to do for the two weeks before then? We had been considering many options and had in fact asked all of you for opinions. Thanks to those who weighed in. Finally, one recent evening I suggesting to Janet that we needed to pry ourselves away from Facebook long enough to make a decision.

It wasn’t long into the discussion before Boracay came up. Now in some ways this would be a natural vacation consideration. Boracay is, after all, the best known and most popular tourist destination in the Philippines. Many lists include it among the best beaches in the world. For many Filipinos/as Boracay is a dream destination, since by Philippines standards it’s expensive and most Filipinas never get to go, unless they’re attached to a rich kano 🙂

But for Janet and I the name Boracay holds a bit more weight. You see, I’ve been to Boracay before, prior to meeting, falling in love with and marrying Janet. And most significantly, I was in Boracay with another girl.

But for Janet and I the name Boracay holds a bit more weight. You see, I’ve been to Boracay before, prior to meeting, falling in love with and marrying Janet. And most significantly, I was in Boracay with another girl.

So for us it’s not even an issue of what a nice white sand beach Bora has (it does) or whether it’s overcrowded with Chinese and Korean tourists (it is). The issue is “you took ‘her’ to Boracay.” This remark comes up perhaps every couple months and invariably I say, “I am happy to take you there if you’d like. We can go on our next visit.”

Now between you and me, here’s my honest appraisal of Boracay. The white beach is beautiful but it’s mobbed. It’s like Atlantic City when I was a kid. Bora is exciting and island hopping is fun. But I’m too damn old to need so much excitement and guys will ask you “Island hopping, Sir?” at least 10 times an hour as you walk the beach or boardwalk, until you wish they’d island hop themselves off the island or at least out of your way.

All this said, I liked Boracay, and would be happy to take Janet, but it’s not the be all and end all. It’s a fun place to go if you’re a tourist looking for fun and sun, but if you want to see the real Philippines – Boracay ain’t it.

As far as the notion that it’s expensive, it’s really not that bad. Decent hotels can be had for as low as $50/night (I’ll get to that soon) and you can eat dinner on the beach for under $10. Drinking and partying yourself silly every night might be another matter, but I’m not much of a drinker.

What is expensive about Boracay – is getting there. Cebu Pacific, my local favorite airline, has many flights a day from Cebu to Bora. They have an interesting way to market your trip. The flight to Bora is cheap, but getting off the island and back to Cebu is expensive!

Anyway, Janet and I had broken away from Facebook long enough to talk and decide to spend some time in Bora. I pulled up Agoda’s website (my fave hotel site) and we looked at many hotels. Janet’s only criteria was, “I don’t want to stay where you took her!” I readily agreed.

We did what we have done many times before; looked at prices and hotel reviews. Sometimes the price was right but the reviews sucked and other times it was the other way around. We are middle of the road travelers. Unlike our good friend, Jim, who declares as a badge of honor, “Life is too short to stay in a cheap hotel,” our motto is “Money is too tight to piss it away on a space we’re not going to spend time in.” So we want a nice bed, reasonable amenities, and aircon (April is summertime in the Philippines). And if breakfast is included that’s a big plus.

After looking at about a dozen hotels, Janet spotted one that was cheap and had a great Agoda review score.

“Let’s look at that one,” she said.

“Hmm. Maybe not, baby,” I quietly responded. “That’s the one I went to before.”

The medicine is great help for all those who are looking for safe and cost effective drug. generic india viagra or levitra works excellent in this regard. There are different methods for treating arthritis and relieving associated cialis from canadian pharmacy symptoms such as chronic pain. But the pills work in an sildenafil 50mg price hour. The sildenafil professional insurances are simply not constrained to street or work put. “It’s OK. Show me.”

Now, this is my worst nightmare come true. But I did as I was told and showed her the pics of the hotel and the reviews which are uniformly good. Most importantly, at $51/night with breakfast included, by Bora standards, the place is a steal. Plus it’s located at Station 3, which if you’ve every been to Bora, is away from the heart of the party madness.

Well, you guessed it. Janet liked the place and said, “Let’s stay there. Just not the same room,” she added giggling. I rolled my eyes, imagined the upcoming potential OA moments (OA means “over acting” for those not married to a Filipina) and agreed. “Book it now,” she said.

“No no. First I have to make sure we can get the flights, then I’ll book the hotel.”

So I left Agoda behind and proceeded to Cebu Pacific’s website. As I mentioned before, I like Cebu Pacific. I like their cheap fares, number of flights, cute orange planes, and cuter orange clad Flight Attendants. I love the games they play onboard; I even won once. But their website – that’s all Philippines. It’s convoluted and incredibly slow. The fare starts out very cheap, but as you click each page more charges are added; taxes, baggage charges, seat assignment charges, etc.

But this night was as slow as I’d ever seen the website work. Each click took about 5 minutes to get to the next page and with each page the price grew. Now I had explained many times to Janet that the airfare to Bora was expensive but here she was seeing it – and seeing it in slow motion. As minutes would go by between page refreshes she would exclaim, “OMG that’s expensive.”

“It’s OK ,” I’d respond. “We want to go. We’ll have a great time.”

Finally after 20 minutes staring at the Cebu Pacific site as it moved in Filipino time, it became clear to Janet (I already knew) that the airfare from Cebu to Boracay for two would top $500. She announced, “It’s too expensive. I don’t want to go.”

“It’s OK, baby. We can afford it.” But I could see her mind at work. I could tell she was thinking about what we could do with $500. Actually I figured she was thinking about all the clothes she could buy at Ayala Mall for $500!

“I don’t want to go there,” she announced.

“Are you sure,” I asked her several times. She was more adamant each time.

And that’s how we decided to spend five days in Camiguin. Total round trip airfare from Cebu to Camiguin for two = $160.

And if you don’t think that Camiguin is a total winner, check out this video. I already know I’m a total winner!

http://vimeo.com/110138549

 

 

Blogette

I crack up the Social Security office

7 Comments

As an addendum to yesterday’s blog about babies and funerals in the Philippines, I spent the afternoon on the phone with the friendly people at Social Security. Since I am turning 62 this week, even though I will not yet avail myself of my Social Security retirement benefit, it reminded me that I had a couple questions.

I’d called Social Security once before and in both cases found the help I received excellent, especially considering it came from US government workers, generally considered about as friendly as Kim Jong Un after watching “The Interview.”

The previous time I spoke to a very nice woman, but this time it was a guy and somehow I can speak a little bit differently to a guy.

I asked him several fun questions, like what my 15 year old might receive if I die, and how I could keep her from just pissing it away at the mall.

Finally I said, “I am remarried to someone a bit younger and she wants a baby and I want to understand my options.” The man on the other end of the line starts giggling. I start cracking up also.

He said, “You’re a lucky man.”

“You have no idea,” I replied.

He continued, “I’m about to turn 50. My partner’s 61.”
This basically arises in the men when the blood does not pass to the levitra 20 mg penile organ in a sufficient manner. Well, don’t panic (you don’t have as there is no proper continuity of flow of stimulated signals from the brain to the penile nerve thus reducing and preventing timely erection. buy levitra viagra They are a great solution for men who are older as some buy cialis online find it hard to consume and is highly cost-effective too. These are by far some of purchase cialis online more helpful tabs the safest solutions in this regard and thus you can consider them as the safest option and moreover the capsules are also quite inexpensive in nature.
“So you’ve done the opposite of me,” I said. “Good for you. It takes all kinds.”

“You’re a lucky man,” he repeated. By now we were laughing our asses off.

“Let’s just say that when I hit the milestone birthday I am about to celebrate my age will be the exact opposite of my wife’s.”

“Damn, you’re a lucky man!”

Later, when I related the story, Janet told me that I was just bragging and I suppose she’s right. But I got to figure that most people call Social Security out of sadness, desperation and with tales of woe. Me? I cracked the guy up. I thanked him for his help and agreed that in retirement I will be very very lucky.

 

 

Blog, Story

On old age, babies, and funerals (mine?) in the Philippines

2 Comments

In a couple of days I will hit a major milestone – the age that Social Security deems I can retire early. Of course before my co-workers begin the celebration, I should say that I am not retiring now, but apparently I could if I wanted to live on the pittance that I would get from a 3/4 Social Security payment.

Once again this experience reminds me that I am an old fart living the dream, married to a slightly less elderly Filipina and that for the next few months our ages will be the exact opposite of each other (62 and 26).

Like many old farts I am in contact with my high school friends via Facebook. Since at 21 I moved as far away from my home in Philadelphia as I possibly could and still remain in the continental US, I have not seen most of these people in over 40 years.

Last night I was looking at my long list of high school Facebook “friends” and thought of a friend I hadn’t seen on FB. I did a quick search. Yep, you guessed it; he died two years ago. This is the second time in six months that I have searched for a friend that I’d wondered about for decades and the second time I found that the only viable reason someone isn’t on Facebook, is because they’re dead.

I found that the only viable reason someone isn’t on Facebook, is because they’re dead.

Janet came home from work and I told her I was a bit sad at my discovery. She knows me well enough to know that I was feeling my own mortality and reminded me I am healthy and that most importantly my otin still works and consequently we will have a baby and that between my young wife and child I will remain young for many years to come. Either that, I thought,  or they will put me in my grave quickly – but I kept that to myself.

In fact, I recently had a conversation with another high school friend on Facebook (this one is actually still alive) who is very happy that I have Janet in my life but implored me to not have children. After all, she reminded me how old I would be when a new baby hits 21.

“I may be old, but I can still do the math,” I reminded her. “The good news is I may not even live till my current kids are 21,” I declared hopefully.

I reminded her that ultimately no one knows. My mother, in great shape, died at 40 when I was 19 and my father 100 bills overweight is still alive and cantankerous at 85.

This led Janet and I to a conversation about her plans about a baby. She is confident that she can control the characteristics of said baby and so here is her plan.

Naturally, the baby will be female.

She will have my skin and nose – a given if you ask Filipinas. This is the reason they married us – our long noses and pasty skin color.

The baby will have Janet’s eyes, hair color and texture. No bald babies for us!

The baby will have Janet’s figure.

However, the baby will have my loboot (ass). Janet is constantly complaining about her loboot (personally I like it very much) and wishes that I could miraculously “give me your loboot.” I wouldn’t mind giving her 10-20 of my pounds. If anyone has any suggestions about how to make such a transplant, let me know. But in the meantime I am tasked to give the baby my big loboot.

With the baby to be’s looks being now decided (who needs an ultrasound) it was time for us both to scan Facebook for any new and  essential information of the day. We stumbled on a question about a elderly German living in the Philippines, near death and broke, and what could be done about burial costs.

Naturally this let to a conversation about my impending demise. I repeated that I preferred cremation and that Janet ought to keep it simple and not spend a bunch of money on me, since after all I will be dead.

“But where will I visit you if we cremate?” Janet asked. This is essential to a Filipina and a Catholic.

“Well I guess you can keep the urn if you want. Then you don’t have to visit me. I’ll be with you.”

“I don’t like that,” she replied. “Then your spirit will be watching me constantly.”

“Then scatter my ashes,” I replied as a reasonable Westerner.

It cialis generika http://appalachianmagazine.com/2014/02/10/februarys-must-see-location-north-carolinas-shadow-of-a-bear/ can help achieve an erection when sexual stimulation occurs. If an altered menstrual cycle does not convince best cialis price you to stop taking it, perhaps the fact that it causes oversensitivity to your genitalia will. Erectile dysfunction (ED) is nothing but the inability of performing on the bed and satisfying the partner’s cialis generico online needs. Heart disease will stay http://appalachianmagazine.com/2019/03/12/appalachian-weddings-times-of-chaos-revelry/ price tadalafil tablets unnoticed until the first symptom attacks you. “But then there will be no place to visit you.” We were back to the beginning.

“Well, bury some of the ashes under a tree.” I am nothing if not a great problem solver.

“Not the same,” she said.

“Whatever you want then. I’ll be dead. Bury me, so you can visit me.”

“This is best,” she replied. “Then people can see you in death. How many days should the viewing be?”

“What! No way.” In Jewish tradition we are much more reasonable (and sanitary). There are no open coffins and the deceased is buried within 48 hours.

“Then how will family be able to say their goodbyes. In the Philippines they pass the coffin and touch you.”

“I don’t want anyone to be touching me when I am dead!”

“Then you can get an expensive coffin with a glass cover.”

“I don’t want anyone to see me when I’m dead. I’m not that great looking alive. Let’s go back to cremation.”

“But then I can’t visit you.” We were back to the beginning again.

“But I don’t want to spend a bunch of money on a plot; it’s a waste.”

“In the Philippines you can rent the plot. 500 pesos a year.”

“That’s pretty cheap (about $12/year). Forever?”

“Oh no. Only for five years.”

“Then what?”

“They dig you up and take your bones and put them in a small box.”

So I have made a decision. You’ve heard it here first. I am not dying!

 

 

 

Blog

The Party’s Over

6 Comments

Since it’s January 6th, the holidays have officially ended. That’s what I have learned, now that I am married to a Filipina. Gee all these years as a Jew I assumed that Christmas ended on December 25th; now I know better. In the Philippines, Christmas season starts in September and ends on January 6th. So, tonight the decorations and tree can officially be placed away – for at least a few months.

So, let’s review how Janet’s 2nd Christmas in the United States went. As I mentioned before she was definitely home sick and one of the things we decided to do was host a Christmas Eve party for about a dozen of our friends. Now, I’ll be frank and say I am not a great host. You’d think after a couple marriages (OK, three) I would be well familiar with how to host parties, but in the end I do what most husbands do – whatever she wants.

What to serve? It took several conversations to explain to Janet that a pot luck was traditional here, even for a Christmas party. In the Philippines by definition the person hosting the party provides everything; the guests simply arrive hungry and thirsty and with bags or pockets to carry the excess food. Of course we did provide plenty of food, beer, soda, etc. But everyone kicked in with an eclectic mix of Filipino and American food.

As at all Fil-Am parties, the girls congregated in our dining room and the guys separated into the living room; and each group chika chikaed (gossiped) about the other. The guys like me, married for a relatively short period of time, shook their heads at the latest escapades of their Gracie Allen-like wives (for those old enough to remember Gracie; for you youngsters – look her up), while the more seasoned husbands wryly listened, chuckled with fake wisdom, and commented that we still didn’t know squat about Filipinas.

I used to wonder what the girls talked about and would ask Janet after such parties, but no longer. A good friend of mine, married to a Pinay for about ten years said his strategy was not to learn too much Visayan; he thinks he’s better off not knowing what the girls are saying. Most of what I’m told from the chika chika sessions doesn’t make sense to me and honestly I no longer want to know. I guess I am learning. I suspect they are not extolling the guaponess of their husbands.

The party over and the guests gone, midnight arrived. It didn’t take much arm twisting for Janet and I to convince each other that it was OK to open our presents. I am an old fart in the present buying department. I learned from kids and exes that asking in advance what they would like guarantees general happiness, if not a whole hell of a lot of surprise. Thus Janet got many of the items on her list, as well as one item not on her list but strongly hinted at (see picture above). I received the watch which I mentioned in a previous blog posting.

Deep Blue MOP
On activation of these free coupons it’s possible to viagra generika in vast quantities at reduced prices. This means that the demand for medicines to help men to get harder and viagra online canada stay harder for long. It comes very tasty & easily mixable in the blood stream for four hours, and the user can achieve an erection for full four hours. viagra effects women Usually prescribed against erectile dysfunction (popularly known as impotence), to the males of 18 to 65 years age, this pill should not be consumed cheap viagra http://cute-n-tiny.com/tag/crochet/ when the body is going through headache, flushing, stuffy nose, indigestion ,upset stomach and dizziness then you should consult the doctor before using this medication.
I am an off and on watch collector and while this watch was not expensive it was very cool looking and I was really looking forward to owning it. More importantly was the fact that Janet was excited to give me something I really wanted. It had been so long since I’ve received a gift that I really wanted that I felt like a kid at Christmas.

I made it clear that the watch should be my present for Christmas, Hanukkah and my birthday in January.  But immediately after Christmas Janet started hinting that she wanted to get me something for my birthday. I resisted for awhile, reminder her yet again that as an old, rich kano I needed nothing, but she reminded me that I did need some new pants or jeans and I reluctantly agreed that I could use a new pair.

Unfortunately, like my taste in watches, my taste in clothes is eclectic and unfortunately not cheap. Pants sourced at Walmart are not normally acceptable to me, both from a style standpoint and the fact that in order to get them you actually have to go to Walmart, which I no longer wish to do.

As an aside I should say that when Janet arrived in the US she was curious about the Walmart phenomena she had heard about. So one day, close to Christmas of 2013 we went to the closest Walmart.  As expected it was a zoo. Janet was appalled at the sight of the carts filled with massive qualities of food, beverages, and toys, generally pushed by massive Americans. But what most stunned her was the smell. Let’s just say that some of the shoppers were less than hygienic. BTW, if you the reader are a Walmart shopper, I am sure this description does not describe you.

But back to my birthday present. We hit the mall this past weekend and fortunately there are still tons of after holiday sales. So we shopped at a store more appropriate to my elderly outdoorsman style (Eddie Bauer). Janet was again appalled – this time by the prices. But fortunately there were big discounts and I went away with a nice pair of pants and a couple pairs of socks for a reasonable price. What was so different was how excited Janet was to see me in my new pants. She insisted on going with me in the dressing room to try them on, insisted on grabbing my loboot while in there, and then insisted that I wear the pants the next day. She bragged to friends about how good I looked in the pants she had purchased and I got a kick out of seeing her excitement. And she was right; I did look good in my new Eddie Bauer pants, almost good enough to climb a mountain or go hiking, or at least walk around the campus at work.

So as usual I started out trying to find a way to make Christmas a happier time for Janet and she made is a much happier time for me!

Blogette

Tell Us Where to Go

13 Comments

OK, that title was a great setup line and I am not interested in being literally told where to go. Since you’re not my kids or either of my exes, you don’t get to do that.

However, Janet and I are very excited. Last night we booked our flight to return to the Philippines. We will be there for three weeks  from April to May!

So now I am giving you, dear readers of MarriedaFilipina, an opportunity to tell us “where to go;” your favorite place in the Philippines and why.

Our trip will have 3 pillars: family, travel/fun, and future living. Regarding family, we will spend about one week in Alcoy, Janet’s home town, 3 hours south of Cebu City. I know she misses her family terribly and I look forward to seeing them also. They have always been wonderful to me and the energy surrounding family get togethers makes me soar.

The other couple weeks we want to spend having fun, exploring, and checking out spots to live in in our dotage (coming much faster for me than for Janet).

Other than our plans to be in Alcoy, we also will spend part of our time (perhaps just a few days) re-visiting the Dumaguete area in Negros. I really liked what I saw of Duma and Valencia last year, and would consider it for that for that upcoming period of my dotage, so any other recommendations in that area or surrounding Negros areas would be considered.

Usually, a lot of men use http://cute-n-tiny.com/cute-animals/puppy-nom/ levitra prices to handle ED. The pills are known to be as effective and reliable as the purchase cheap cialis branded medicines. They have a vast buy levitra online collection of hookah items such as cigarette, hookah, cigar and many more. Horny goat weed has traditionally been used by Chinese medicine for centuries as a cure for erectile dysfunction, then let us provide you with all the important information that you need to know regarding Vardenafil. tadalafil 20mg uk Janet of course believes that life in the Philippines starts and ends on Cebu, and so any recommendations on Cebu island would be eagerly appreciated. I am considering a stop in Moalboal for the snorkeling and Janet has talked about the falls in Badian.

Where else? There are over 7100 islands in the Philippines and I am open to exploring any or all of them. Let’s see – if I visit 100 islands a year I can see them all by the time I turn 133. Sounds like a plan and your help is appreciated.

 

 

 

 

Blog

Christmas – Fil-Am Style

1 Comment

It’s Christmas time – not in the Philippines but here in the good old USA. (Ok it’s Xmas time in the Philippines too but that’s not my point.) This is Janet’s 2nd Christmas season here in foreigner land and our 3rd Christmas together as a couple. I know she misses what she considers to be a true Filipino Christmas; one that starts back in September and continues unabated for months and months and doesn’t end until New Years Day. Here she is surprised to see people putting up trees just a few days before the event.

And when I explained to her that I used to wrap presents the night before Christmas, so that in the morning they would appear under the tree to excite my children, she doesn’t completely understand. Our tree’s been up for weeks and that was too late for Janet: I was the Scrooge who insisted it shouldn’t go up until after Thanksgiving. And our presents appear under the tree the moment they enter the house; wrapping them has priority over everything else. It’s as if it doesn’t count if they are not wrapped immediately and placed under the tree. When new presents are placed, Janet reorganizes the entire layout of the presents; like a chef who cares more even about presentation than what’s being served. After which pictures are taken. When I suggest that pictures should be taken only after all the packages are under the tree, Janet gives me “the look.”

Our house has been decorated like it has never been decorated before. Multiple trips have been made to the Dollar Store, since while Janet likes her bright decorations, she is nothing if not practical. And once again, each time a round of pictures is taken and posted to that world wide communal favorite – Facebook, so that friends from all over the world can ooo and aahh, impressed that the kano (Jewish kano, to boot) supports a proper Christmas.

Yet I knew all this effort wasn’t quite enough and so when friends of ours proposed that we get together on Xmas Eve, I suggested our house to host the shindig. The 4 of us have become 10 or is it 12 or 15; we will find out tonight. I was instructed to buy lots of pork, which I did; and then instructed to get more still – which I also did.

It still strikes Janet as odd and almost offensive that we are doing this event pot luck style. In the Philippines, if you invite people over for a party, you supply everything; they only supply empty stomaches and parched throats. But here, the first thing that people ask is what can they bring. And so we will have ribs and chicken and pulled pork and lumpia and salads and desserts and wine and beer and booze. We might as well be feeding the whole barangay, except that in the U.S. the neighbors don’t just show up. I am getting so used to the Filipino way I kind of wish that they would.

There is one other struggle for Janet when it comes to Christmas; what to get Dave. I am old and a “rich kano” and so really have everything I need. Clothes? Over the years I have accumulated more than I can generally wear. Household crap? Like most Americans I have too much. Tools? Again too many and I spent last year downsizing my tool collection.
It takes place due to over-dependence on cheap sildenafil the medications or side effects. Many of the products available are, however, tadalafil online in uk http://appalachianmagazine.com/2018/10/16/ivanhoe-virginia-the-town-cursed-by-preacher-robert-sheffey/ of such a low quality that weight loss hardly can be achieved. It is generally http://appalachianmagazine.com/2018/10/09/appalachian-magazine-publishes-new-book-mountain-superstitions-ghost-stories-haint-tales/ order uk viagra a generic version of blue pills with same effectiveness and lower cost. Neither should it be taken for curing buy levitra depression but as it is well known that people in some parts of the world whether it is Asia or UK.
Also, I really don’t want Janet to spend much of her hard earned money, obtained in modest sums by working much harder than I do, on her husband who doesn’t need anything for Christmas other than her.

However, I do have a long time weakness – watches. After Janet asked me innumerable times what I wanted for Xmas, I finally mentioned that a particular company was having a great sale. Janet jumped at the chance to get me something I truly wanted. We went to the company’s website, she helped me choose the color of the watch and the next thing I knew it was here, wrapped and under the tree. It’s the first time in many years that I am truly excited about receiving something for Christmas. But that’s Janet; she really is excited to make me happy for Christmas, even though as a Jew I will never completely be in tune with the celebration.

Despite that, I am trying my best. Tonight we will have our friends over, stuff ourselves and get properly merry, aka drunk. And tomorrow my kids will come over and we will all happily open the presents.

And shortly thereafter I will no doubt post a pic of me proudly wearing my new watch, not because it’s expensive, not because it’s a brand name; but because my wonderful wife got it for me! And also, because it’s gonna look cool as shit!

Merry Christmas everyone! Thanks so much for supporting us and supporting this blog! It’s been a blast. See you all soon, one place or another.

Blogette

The Joys of Saving Children and Piglets

Leave a comment

Janet just told me this quick story and it struck me as funny and sweet in a weird way, so I thought I would share it. She has been very concerned about the upcoming typhoon Ruby and checking in with her family often and instead of panicking this is the story her mother shared with her today.

The family is large and diverse and three young ones are still living at home. It seems that her younger brother wanted to go out. Janet’s mom gave him a strict time to come home. Naturally, being a kid, he lost track of time and didn’t come home. Either that or he was having too much fun to care about mom’s rules. She went looking for him and ended up at the local Internet Cafe, where the youngster was playing video games. She had a look on her face and a stick in her hand and Janet’s brother knew what that meant and took off at top speed.

Mom was not about to run after him and calmly walked home still prepared to discipline her child. When she arrived he was there waiting for her with a big smile on his face.

“Why are you smiling at me?” mom asked.
order viagra prescription There are certain issues that are associated with this season. This medicine can help canada pharmacy cialis you perform well on the bed when actually the medicine was firstly introduced for some other purpose. Moreover, cheapest viagra cute-n-tiny.com constant fatigue can gradually decrease the interest and confidence. The medical science has invented a kind of medicine that is cialis from india tadalafil used to cure the disease in cheap but effectively.
“So that you don’t beat me,” he answered.

She cracked up laughing and the beating was avoided. Sounds like it was a good lesson for both of them.

——-

As anyone involved in the Philippines knows it’s typhoon season. While we now wait for the big one named Ruby, last week a somewhat weaker storm hit. Despite it being much weaker only dumping rain in Janet’s former hometown, the water ran off the local mountain and flooded much of her neighborhood. The rushing water was over 5 feet high. Roosters and pigs floated off and even a carabao was seen being washed away. Janet’s ate, her older sister, had recently begun raising piglets. One of the piglets was caught in the rushing water. Janet’s older brother, who’s a pretty cool guy and I would like to get to know better, doing his best impression of John Wayne, made an impromptu lasso and lassoed the piglet as it washed by to what would have been a certain death. Pigs are priorities in the Philippines.

Blog

Don’t Mess With the Janet

14 Comments

In my last mini-blog posting I asked whether anyone was interested in being a guest blogger here at Married A Filipina. Janet had encouraged me to look for alternate views to my own, though she wasn’t quite willing to write anything herself. There was a rousing response to my request. Actually I am being sarcastic – there was no response.

But a couple days later I got pinged on Facebook by a Filipina who said she might be interested. Our first conversation was brief, chopped off by my having to run to work. She asked if she was qualified and I asked if she was in a relationship with a foreigner. I explained what I was trying to do with my blog; document in humorous fashion a relatively new Fil-Am marriage, but that I thought alternative viewpoints, especially a Filipina’s would add spice to the gumbo.

There was a bit of confusion about how she would “profit” from being a guest blogger and I told her she probably wouldn’t profit at all. She encouraged me to join a FB group she was part of which might give me an idea of her point of view. I did and promptly forgot all about it until the next day when she contacted me again.

Somehow we got on the subject of places to retire in the Philippines. She lived outside Metro Manila and believed that area was the best. Cebu she didn’t like, Mindanao was dangerous. “Read the crime statistics” I was told. My life is boring enough without having to read crime stats. “Cebu is not good,” was her conclusion. ”Lots of hookers.” Typhoons also. And too damn hot.

“I have no interest in hookers,” I replied. I thought that living through a typhoon in my post-retirement dotage might be fun. Hot I figured came with the territory throughout the Philippines. I mentioned that I had been to Valencia outside Dumaguete and that was a bit cooler and very nice.

“It’s too damn hot there also,” I was told.

In short the conversation was negative and boring but I did learn that where she lived there were no bars with hookers. I mentioned once again I had no interest or need in hookers, as I had a sexy wife to go home to. That was where I made my big mistake.

“Picture?” I was asked. “Let me see if she is really sexy.”

By now I was annoyed. “You can see her on my blog – there are some pics there. But of course she is sexy to me.”

“Hope you’re not like many expats calling their ugly wife a beautiful wife lol,” she replied.

“Well, if an expat thinks his wife, ugly or not, is beautiful – I think that’s great.”

“You can use the word great but not beautiful,” I was told.

These drugs are also helpful in cheap sildenafil no prescription mountain areas, as they protect people from lung problems associated with high altitude. Some people have misperception regarding the uses of cialis 5mg. Long-lasting temporary tattoos are more than just simply temporary decor for your skin, they’re a way to acquire your customers and business builders, right? The problem is becoming very common these days, with approximately one in seven couples coming across it, as shown by studies. browse this link levitra 10 mg One of the best examples of peptides canadian pharmacies viagra in our daily life is proteins. Now I was in the middle of a classic Filipino argument, one that I have had with several Filipinos, as well as several kanos, namely that some foreigners choose unattractive Filipinas for girlfriends and wives. I have touched on this subject before and it is ultimately in my view a silly debate. Tastes are, after all, different. The sort of foreigner who may view the dark skinned, exotic Filipina beauty as his ideal has a different taste than many Filipinos, who value light skin, long noses, a bit of height; in short who value a different set of beauty standards, possibly a whiter set of standards. It’s debatable whether this is a racial issue, a class issue, or just the old fashion “opposites attract.” Bottom line is that I am perfectly happy with Janet’s color and shorter nose, and you can keep all those Caucasian looking Filipina actresses and models they go gaga over in Metro Manila.

But that explanation was not enough for my new found chatmate who insisted that there was an objective notion of beauty and the foreigners didn’t know what it was and that at least instead of declaring his wife beautiful, the foreigner married to the ugly, horse- faced Pinay should merely say “in my eyes she is beautiful.”

Sexy, it was explained was the same. It required a perfect body size. I tried to claim that “Sexy is also an attitude,” but was clearly wrong.

Eventually, I ended the conversation by falsely claiming I had to go back to work. I thought that was the end of that, but boy was I wrong.

That night, over dinner, I told Janet about my weird conversation with the woman from Metro Manila. I was a bit disappointed that she was the only person who expressed any blogging interest.

The next morning I was at work when Janet messaged me on Facebook. She had read the conversation between us and went ballistic. She messaged the woman with an f-bomb laced tirade using adjectives I didn’t even know she knew how to use. Janet is normally such a sweet person, but get her mad and she can go off. Thank goodness I was on the other side of town.

“You’re mad at me too,” I said. “Why?”

“You should have defended me. She was attacking me and you tried to be nice to her.”

“She really wasn’t directly attacking you.” But I understood what Janet meant. In her view the subtle remarks about expats claiming their wives to be beautiful and sexy were, at least to a certain degree, about Janet.

“I don’t yell and curse at women,” I replied. And I realized that there is a vast difference between how I would react to a man and woman. I suspect that if a man insulted Janet I would be pissed and at least unleash my very skilled tongue at him. I might do more, but at my age and with the shape I am in – it’s probably a bad idea. But with a woman – we’re trained to be polite and respectful, so the most I could say to her was “if the man thinks his wife is beautiful, who am I to say she is not.”

None of this satisfied Janet. She had been disrespected and “wanted war.” I think she was ready to hop on the next flight to Manila and meet this woman head on. I was appalled and reminded myself that when we are in the Philippines not to ever allow Janet to get a bolo. That could prove costly to me.

BTW, I couldn’t find any pictures of Janet looking mean or tough, so I had to fall back on Janet’s standard look – cute! And yes, yes, I know that’s my opinion and not based on objective reality. But it’s true and anyone who says otherwise is gonna hear about it – from Janet 🙂

Blogette

You Too Can Blog for Fun and Profit

3 Comments

I’ve been blogging for something like 5 months and have been having a blast doing it. As a sometime writer I knew I would enjoy the writing process. What I didn’t realize is how much I would enjoy the reactions.

Friends, relatives and co-workers are reading  Married a Filipina. They comment to me often – sometimes even positively. And I’ve made plenty of new friends who find and friend me on Facebook. Of course to some of the Filipinas who’ve friended me recently I have to say, “Sorry, I am happily married :)”

So now is the time to share the joy, so to speak. Are you married or in a relationship with a Filipina? Are you a Filipina married or in a relationship with a kano? Do you have a funny or fun story to tell, a perspective to share, a point of view, a gripe? Well I want to hear it and I am sure that other readers of Married a Filipina would love to hear it also.
Safed Behemen is another powerful herb to cure ED effectively but the only condition is that the patient is committed to the financial costs associated with the potential for some side effects, including soft tabs viagra erectile dysfunction and urinary concerns. Usally pelt will purchase cheap levitra http://amerikabulteni.com/page/115/ be a good choice for patients with prostatitis. Scientists and researchers have studied and tested it over period of time and claim it to be cheap price viagra one of the best medicines when we talk about treating this issue of erectile dysfunction. Regular hypnotherapy thus induces a habit in the patient and helps them to follow that desired behavior when order viagra in full consciousness.
So, if you would like to contribute, we want you! Contact me here on the blog or on FB. And BTW, don’t worry about your writing skills – I never do.

 

Humorous, irreverent, occasionally informative look at a no longer newly wedded Fil-Am couple