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Quarantined in the Philippines

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A lot of my friends back in the US have asked how we are doing in these extraordinary times and what it’s like now in the Philippines. I thought I’d try to capture it for them as well as to remind me in the future.

The Province of Negros Oriental, where Dumaguete and Valencia are cities is under ECQ (Enhanced Community Quarantine), as is much of the Philippines. In March (I’ve lost track of when) the Philippines shut down most ferry traffic and flights between islands. That was a smart move and prevented the spread between big cities like Manila and Cebu and the rest of the country. At that point we were under GCQ (General Community Quarantine), which really wasn’t that different from normal life, other than we couldn’t go to another island.

ECQ began the beginning of April and is much different. I see some of the protests happening in the US. Believe me, our quarantine is nothing like what you have there. All families are in lockdown. Each family receives one pass for 1 member of the family. With the pass that person, and that person only, can leave the house, under numerous restrictions, to get food and medicines. Anyone 65+ cannot leave at all. Therefore in our case, Janet has the pass, and is our life support. Fortunately she had worked on her driving the past six months and had gotten used to driving without me. This proved to be a great decision.

Since we live in the town of Valencia, just outside of Dumaguete, Janet can use her pass pretty much at will within Valencia. She goes to the market where she can get fruits, vegetables and some meats. She goes to 7-11 for the essentials; soda, beer and milk. Yesterday she went to 7-11 and bought out the last of the milk there. They told her they didn’t know when more might be coming, since shipments from Manila have become problematic. Everything comes out of Manila and since Manila is locked down tight as a drum, there is general fear about what might be shipped here.

But back to the ECQ. If Janet wants to go to a supermarket she has to go into Dumaguete. Her pass only allows her to do this three days/week. Driving to Dumaguete she will hit a police checkpoint. At the checkpoint they check everyone’s temperature, look at their pass, and then take their pass and drivers license and exchange them for a day pass, with which she can enter Dumaguete. Does this sound like fun yet?

Once in Dumaguete, dependant on the time of day, she will wait in line for hours at the supermarket, since they only allow a small number of people in the market at a time. To make matters worse, the hours of the markets have been shortened.

After all your business is done, Janet can return to Valencia, going through the same checkpoint and exchanging the day pass for her permanent pass and license.

This whole thing has not gone off without a hitch. A few days ago a drunken “foreigner” crashed his pickup into a checkpoint, killing one person. Whenever possible I ask Janet to shop in Valencia and avoid the checkpoints.

For me, like many throughout the world, I am stir crazy. I see some of my American friends leave their house, if only to do the essentials, and am envious. Depending on the location, I see people take walks or some other physical activity, and I’m jealous as hell. Our property here is large enough that I can walk. I walk back and forth between the house and the shop. Is that walking or a lengthly pacing? Not sure.

As Americans here in the Philippines, we are incredibly lucky. There is still money in the bank and the ATMs work. We haven’t been to the bank in a month to transfer any more money but we should be OK. This is not true of most Filipinos.

The government gives out some food through the barangay (neighbourhood) system. The food distribution has been, shall I say, less than perfect. And even if you get the food, it amounts to only 2-3 kilos of rice and some canned goods per family. See how long you can feed a family on that.

Speaking of families, Janet’s has grown exponentially. All the grown children who were living and working in Cebu City were laid off immediately and returned home. There are now 15 people living in the house that Janet built for her family. Her father cannot go to his farm to do his normal routine so he grows a little bit around the house. At the beginning of all this some of the family members went to the beach early in the morning to fish. They can’t do that any longer; the beach is closed.

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The Philippines government, like most of the governments of the world has allocated money to help. But in the case of the Philippines the total is the equivalent of about $100 per family and most families in the Philippines have not received it yet. Not a lot of direct depositing done here, nor do they mail checks. So one by one families are visited with the cash payment.

In short, despite any desire to help, there is very little help for people. Yet Filipinos are a resourceful and happy people and they are managing. But you can see and hear the fear. Will there be money for food? Will there be food to buy? This is not an existential crisis; it’s a real crisis.

Janet and I try to help in small ways. We can’t get to the family but we can still send them a little money. Janet donated a sack of rice yesterday at the barangay hall. It’s a drop in the bucket but I suppose if enough drops fall…

The ECQ is schedule to go until April 30th and the city seems divided with many chomping at the bit for the quarantine to end or be modified and others wanting it to be extended. There’s a lot of fear on both sides.

By the Numbers: Negros Oriental has only had 4 cases and 2 deaths. The last death was a month ago and there hasn’t been a new positive test result in 3 weeks. Now we know that the reality is that there must be more cases but this is what we officially have.

Yet despite the above numbers we remain in a quarantine far more severe than that endured by the US or most European countries.

BTW, as I write this rumours are flying that Pres. Duterte is considering lifting or modifying the ECQ, as is the Governor of our Province. In the Philippines, unlike the US, when Duterte says something most of the Provinces follow suit.

For me, as a spoiled American one of the worst things is that I haven’t been able to receive any packages. I have a variety of little things ordered but they are all stuck somewhere between Manila and Dumaguete. Just this little bit of normalcy would make life better but it hasn’t happened yet. BTW, I am talking about you, FedEx. Where’s my shit!

Update: Just received a package from Shopee (see pic above). It got to me from Manila in 5 days which is pretty normal. Happy quarantiner! Or is that quarantinee?

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Corona Times #3 – Our Timeline

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We’re in complete lockdown, quarantine, enhanced quarantine, double secret quarantine – whatever the hell you want to call it. A lot of weird and crazy behaviour going on – plenty of it from me.

Yet in a strange way there’s a sense that normalcy is returning. Why do I say that? Because on the social media fear is being replaced – with finger pointing. Seriously, in a warped way it’s a good thing. Governments are being blamed, officials should have known, health organisations are responsible for our plight. And then there are the Chinese; OK in this case they are to blame. Come on guys – I can’t make every analogy work.

But Janet and I have a particular reason to remember the timeline for the beginnings of all this. We had booked a trip to Vietnam, flying out of Manila January 20th and returning the 28th.

It seems a lifetime ago, not 2 1/2 months. Were we worried about a Chinese virus on January 20th? Nope. There had been some rumours but nothing big. But we were worried about our trip. Why? Because Mt. Taal had erupted a week or so before our flight, NAIA had actually closed for a day or so. Janet and I were worried that it would impact out flight and I checked the airport status daily. We were also aware that it might impact our return flight on the 28th. But a virus – no way.

We arrived the evening of the 20th. By the 21st there were lots of masks being worn in Ho Chi Minh City and people were clearly buying masks in stores. Other than that normal life seemed to be going on. Yet as the days went by the topic became more and more important to the Vietnamese people and Janet became more concerned, finally buying a pack of masks.

The 23rd was the first time I really paid any attention. It was the day after my birthday and we’d booked massages in a very high end spa. When we arrived we were required to fill out a form saying that we had not been in the Wuhan area of China over the past 14 days. ‘Well, they’re getting serious about this thing,’ I thought. Probably paranoid, but a little paranoia might not be so bad.

It was the week of Chinese New Year, which is also celebrated in Vietnam. There were the normal celebrations, but I couldn’t help but notice something was wrong. Maybe it was the fact that by then nearly everyone was talking through a mask.

By the time we returned on the 28th, a week later, the world had changed and nearly everyone on the flight was wearing masks. OK, I wasn’t but all the sane people were. We got off the plane and they checked everyone’s temperature, which I thought was really strange, though I was impressed that the Philippines seemed on top of it.

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Still we went back home to normal life. Our routine was the same. I worked on guitars, played golf with my buddies, etc. Occasionally conversations would turn to the topic of “the virus” but no one knew what was coming.

Three days later a certain politician closed off travel from China and everyone called him a nut.

I have no grand conclusions here, except who the hell could have really known. For those who say they did know or everyone should have known, I have a great memory of the week that began to change the world and I sure as hell didn’t know.

A couple days ago I played the movie Cloverfield, a clever horror movie. For those not familiar, it starts out as a story of some 20-something friends at a party celebrating one friend moving to Tokyo for work. We get to see these young people get drunk, hit on each other, and do silly things we all did at that age. A half hour into the movie there’s a huge crash, a building comes down and we find out in real time that a Godzilla-like monster is destroying the city. It’s a clever take on a routine monster story.

I think I played it for myself and Janet because it reflects our current life. We go along enjoying life, in my case a retired life. We go on a vacation and have fun. We return home our vacation a success. And then suddenly a monster begins to destroy the world.

There’s no time to figure out where the monster came from or who should have known or whether we should have been better prepared for an alien attack. We just have to run like hell, or in our current situation, sit like hell.

Come to think about it the Cloverfield analogy is a crappy one. At the end of the story, the military, nearly defeated, drops a nuke on it killing our young heroes. So as I say the analogy doesn’t quite work; or maybe it does. In our case the nuke is to stay home, stay safe and take care of each other.

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Corona TImes #2

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It’s been only 12 days since I wrote my last blog piece, http://Corona Times in the Philippines, and well, the world and the Philippines have changed a lot since then. I usually try to write humorously but it’s a tough struggle now.

Like many people, I just want the world to return to the way it was a month or two ago. If not, I want someone to give me a date when to expect things to return. And if not that I want the world to return for just me and Janet – and maybe if I’m generous a few carefully selected others – and let the rest of you deal with all of this. That seems fair, don’t you all agree lol.

By the Numbers: As of today there are 2084 reported cases of Covid-19 in the Philippines and 88 deaths. This is 10 times the number of cases and about 6 times the number of deaths I reported 12 days ago. The numbers are small compared to the US, but growing at an alarming rate.

Unlike most countries, the Philippines, an archipelago, has a natural advantage. Ferries and planes between islands were mostly shutdown 2 weeks ago, with the exception of necessary supplies. Whatever term you use, that means that we’ve essentially been quarantined for the past couple weeks, unable to travel except on our island. Actually that’s not entirely true. Negros has two provinces and the other province, Negros Occidental closed its borders a couple weeks ago. so really we can only travel within Negros Oriental, which is pretty limiting.

I watch a huge country like the US, where people can and do freely travel between states, and can’t help but wonder if that’s a good thing. Here we have no such options.

In addition, islands like Luzon and Cebu are under complete lockdown, so you can’t move from town to town. Several of Janet’s siblings left Cebu City before the lockdown and are now home in Alcoy, Cebu.

Gradually through the last 12 days most stores and restaurants have closed. A few holdovers do deliveries. I was disappointed to find out that my favourite bagel place, Rolling Pin, actually the only bagel place, closed today. I was hoping to hit it one more time before Friday.

Why Friday? Because Friday, April 3rd the entire province announced we’d be under enhanced quarantine. This means most businesses will be closed by law. Every family will get one pass for someone to leave the home 2 days a week to get groceries or take care of whatever business they have. Janet will be the pass holder, since as a senior I am not supposed to leave the house at all. I’m not a have to go places every day sort of guy but I need my daily walk. At this age my daily walk is mostly the walk around the block sort of exercise and I’m still hoping to be able to do that. I swear I’ll wear a mask and won’t go near anybody but being locked in scares the shit out of me.

Now I have to admit that where we are locked in is a pretty nice place. We have 1300+ square meters of property. I have a shop in the back of the lot and Janet has a garden. Hell, I could walk to my shop and back 4 or 5 times and it would be just as much exercise as my walk, but it’s still not the same.

As reported before the yard is big enough to practice my chipping. I have a bucket as my target. I usually miss it and the ball goes into Janet’s garden which doesn’t enhance our relationship.

Unlike most Filipinos we have plenty of groceries and the money to get more. And we have a car which allows us to stay away from others. I never thought of this benefit when I bought the car but it seems pretty important now.

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In fact yesterday, as my darling Janet began to watch me crack up she suggested that we take a drive. We drove to Siaton; just drove and looked at the sites. The weather was beautiful of course. Dumaguete was pretty much closed down but as we got further and further out of town we noticed that commercial activity picked up, until it seemed normal by the time we hit the outer limits of our drive. I wish I could say this was a good thing but in fact it struck us as a bad thing. I could imagine the people thinking, ‘All that danger stuff is for people in Dumaguete or Cebu or Manila, not for us here.’ I hope they’re right but doubt it.

But come Friday there will be no more drives, no more bagels or most other treats I like to spoil myself and Janet with.

But it’s not all bad news. Because the bagel place was closed, I panicked. “I wonder if McDonalds (known as McDos here) is closed?” I cried in terror. “Let’s find out,” suggested my darling wife. We went down there and praise the Lord, they were open and we got our normal meals from the drivethru. Now the routine is different; money goes in a basket; food is handed to you on a tray. I had my mask on so they didn’t get my order right, but hell, they usually get it wrong anyway. Regardless, we were happy and they told us the drivethru would remain open past the dreaded April 3rd.

One more bit of normalcy. Exiting the drivethru and making a left as I do to get home is always a challenge. A motorcyclist was bound and determined to “get butchered” as Janet loves to delicately say, swerved around me to avoid being hit; and he avoided it barely. It was as if to say, “I’m not letting some damn virus keep me from my destiny – to die on my motor.” Anyway, I didn’t kill him and we returned home and wolfed down our burgers so quickly I couldn’t much enjoy it but was happy for the normalcy.

One other bit of normal. A couple days ago Shopee actually delivered a package. I kid you not! I was surprised since I’d gotten a message the day before from the driver that said he couldn’t deliver because of the quarantine. So I was shocked to see him ring the bell and ask for 171 Pesos for a tiny, sort of irrelevant item that I’d ordered a month (or a lifetime) ago. But I was happy. Now if they’d only deliver Janet’s birthday present which is stuck somewhere between Manila and Dumaguete or the little toy which I bought for myself and hadn’t told Janet about (until now) and is coming via FedEx. Every day their automated system tells me it’s coming today but everyday I get a message saying it’s still stuck in Manila. These mofos are teasing me. I wish they’d just admit, “Hey we’re enjoying your toy. You crazy Americans really spend money on this shit?”

One more piece of Philippines normalcy: As I’m writing this Janet calls me, “There’s a lizard in our bathroom.” “So what,” I say. “We see them all the time.” “This is the biggest one we’ve ever had.” I went up and sure enough he was the biggest one we’ve ever had in the house. We tried to catch him and he ran behind the bathtub. Clearly he’s a male lizard – he likes my tub. He can’t be all bad.

Ok I’m making light of all this crap. I could tell you that I’m scared for myself and I could tell you I’m scared for Janet and my Filipino family and neighbours who have it much worse than me. Or I could tell you I’m afraid for my kids, who I can’t get to see if the worst happened and visa versa.

But I can’t tell you all these things. Too busy chasing that lizard.

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Corona Times and the Philippines

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Every country in the world is dealing with the Coronavirus in different ways. Here in the Philippines, the concern is just as intense as it is in most other countries, but as a developing nation the impact is different, as are people’s needs and behaviour.

By the numbers: As of yesterday’s count there are 202 reported cases in the Philippines and 17 deaths. Dumaguete had a death last week and that sent the city into panic mode – at least a bit.

Response: Manila is in complete lockdown. Originally, Pres. Duterte announced nothing would go in and out of Manila. This caused general panic in the country, since most goods are distributed through Manila. Panic buying hit Dumaguete: rice, hand sanitizer and masks, though not toilet paper. The government quickly amended the statement, saying the lockdown did not include commercial goods, which could be shipped in and out of Manila. This calmed things a bit.

Most every island and province has established curfews and general lock down. With 7100 islands the Philippines is completely dependent on its ferry system to get people from one island to another. No longer. Most ferrys are shut down. From Dumaguete, unless you can swim really, really well, you aren’t getting to Cebu. Flights are no better.

Now, the government did clarify that tourists wanting to leave the country would be accommodated, but the process seems to change on a daily basis.

General Impressions: Here’s what I have observed in Dumaguete, in no order of importance, over the last week or so.

Work goes on: The Philippines is a cash society. People need cash and need it daily to eat. Therefore as much as possible, work goes on. Trikes and jeepneys give passengers rides, construction workers continue to work, many (though not all) restaurants are still open, banks are open, the malls are open. Many of these businesses have shortened their hours but most continue to operate.

Starbucks: This morning Janet and I went to our bank to do some business; there’s only so much you can do online here; meaning almost nothing. Afterwards, we traveled along the boulevard. The restaurants were open but activity was modest. Finally I said, “I’m almost out of coffee beans, let’s stop in Starbucks to get a bag.” There was not a single person in Starbucks and they were very happy to see me and sell me a bag of coffee. Dumaguete’s Starbucks is usually packed from morning to night, but not now. It’s a good time to get an overpriced latte.

Social Distancing: Since we had to go out anyway, we took care of all our cash business; paying the electric and water bill, as well as the banking and the aforementioned necessary Starbucks run. All those entities had their chairs, which in the past were close together for maximum squeezability, arranged far apart. Some places took and returned money using a basket instead of possibly unclean hands. All government entities, banks and some businesses require face masks, but once you enter you find that half the employees are not wearing them. It’s tough for me. Hard enough for Filipinos to understand my American English; now impossible as I mumble through a mask.

Police Checkpoints: Dumaguete and its surrounding areas have lots of police checkpoints where they usually search motorcycle riders, trying to catch the bad guys. That’s changed completely. Oh there are still many checkpoints (perhaps more than before) but they are all for checking the temperature of each driver and rider. Everyone is pretty good natured about it and both Janet and I thanked the police because, let’s face it, it’s a potentially dangerous and thankless assignment.

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Police Station: Speaking of the police, yesterday Janet and I needed to go to the Dumaguete police Station to report a “harrassment incident.” It’s not something that I’m prepared to write about now in detail and we’re fine, but it was an interesting experience.

I certainly believe that one of the problems that is ramping up with our needed isolation is that some people will begin to crack up. Hell, Janet and I have seen some of that in ourselves. So this was an incident in which someone was acting out and it seemed reasonable to report it.

The police were professional. There was a rope separating me from the desk cop, requiring me to nearly yell at him through my mask to describe the incident.

The policeman took my reported incident seriously and advised me as to what to do to protect ourselves if it happened again. In the end I had to sign the report, meaning that I had to break protocol and come over to sign. But overall he was helpful and cool, qualities we are going to need in the times ahead.

Outdoors Activities: The good news is that we live in a tropical country and are not pent up in homes in cold areas of the Western world. So Janet goes outside and gardens. I go back to my shop to do a little work. We both like to take a walk around the neighbourhood. In short, we still can do most of the things we like to do, but the feeling is far different.

OTOH, gyms here are closed, as are Janet’s fave badminton courts. I haven’t checked out the local pools, but fortunately there’s an ocean to swim in and that ain’t gonna close – I hope.

Speaking of outdoors activities, I play golf Wednesdays with a group of friends. We played 18 holes yesterday. Now before anyone thinks we are doing a bad thing I should tell you that the course where we play, typically has no more than 3-4 groups on it at any given time, meaning that over a 75 acre layout there might be 10-12 people. We felt safe and took a picture which we posted to demonstrate our positive attitude.

In short, there are things you can do to keep life sort of normal, if you’re creative about it. I’ve been practicing my chipping in the back yard. I’m still no better at it but feel good. I wonder what the chances are that I can get Phil Mickelson to come here and give me a lesson?You’re gonna have a tough time getting in, Phil, but the courses are wide open!

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My Life as a Philippines Luthier

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Here’s an aspect of my life in the Philippines that for whatever strange reason I haven’t blogged much about and a story about how my retirement plan changed. Twenty five years ago I embarked on an obsession to become an amateur or semi-professional luthier. BTW for those who don’t know, luthier means stringed instrument maker.

For five or six years I was insane. My children were very young and my routine was the same 7-days a week, 365 days a year. I put the kids to bed, doing the story reading thing, put my wife to bed, and then went downstairs to unwind. That generally took an hour. After that I went down into the basement where I had a tiny, insect ridden shop and built guitars. I was in my 40s and had enough energy to go until 1:00 or 2:00 in the morning before going to bed, getting up at 6:00 to get the kids ready and going to work. I loved making guitars.

But when I began, my then wife said, “We have a baby. You can’t make noise or dust.” “No worries, “I replied. “I’ll do it with hand tools.” And so began my second obsession – to make guitars solely with hand tools.

As the kids got older and the marriage got rockier, my obsession waned. Actually that’s not true; I still had the obsession just not the time or energy to make it all happen. So I eventually stopped making guitars. By my 50s when asked I would say, “when I retire I’ll get back to it.” That’s what I told Janet for years. The tiny shop and all the tools sat in our Portland basement but I rarely did much, other than clean and sharpen tools and remind myself that I would get back to my obsession someday.

About a year before I actually retired, Janet asked me why I was waiting for my actual retirement; why not start now. It was like I was being given permission to get back into my love; and so I did. I assembled a guitar that had been sitting in pieces for ten years. I refinished two other guitars via an ancient process called French Polishing – another of my obsessions.

By then it was time to pack, sell the house and move to the Philippines. But at least I knew what I was going to do. Or did I?

Once we were settled in a rental house in Valencia and the balikbayan boxes with my tools and materials arrived I got back to work. I started building a new guitar for the first time in many years. And then fate would kick in. Via Facebook people in Dumaguete began to find out that I was a luthier. One day a guy contacted me. His guitar wasn’t properly set up and could I look at it and see what I could do. He came over, I improved the instrument’s action a little bit, and off he went. And then it happened again on Facebook and again. I came to realise that not only was there almost no one in Dumaguete capable of doing basic repairs and instrument setups, but outside of Manila there is hardly anyone in the Philippines. Today people all over the country contact me.

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I created a facebook page and called my little endeavour, Dumaguete Guitar Works. By all means take a look and tell me what you think; and “like” it, of course.

My goal was not just to help “rich” foreigners but to serve the community with a service that Filipino musicians could afford. Therefore my services are a small fraction of what similar services in the U.S. would cost.

Now that our house is built, as I’ve blogged to death about, I spend much of my time in my shop, located in the back of our lot, under a huge and cooling mango tree. It’s the best shop space I have ever had. My old hand tools have proper places, and I have three work benches so I can readily work on multiple instruments.

The best part is that it’s all a great challenge, good for the ageing brain. People bring in instruments that I’ve never worked on and sometimes have problems I’ve never encountered or even thought about. I’ve managed to save a few guitars that were too broken to be used.

Some of my friends ask if I’m doing this as a business to make money. I’m really not. Not meaning to brag but I’m a retiree and don’t need the income. But it feels good. Recently a Filipino customer gave me a 50P tip. His appreciation felt very cool. With my newfound “obsession” I have a few extra pesos in my pocket and take Janet to lunch – or buy myself another tool!

A happy player!
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The Hash Brown Crisis

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I’ve written about it before. Contrary to popular believe, I have been able to get most everything I want in the Philippines. Even obscure items or items whose existence has no logic here – I’ve found them. Now often you have to do some digging. The first time I was in Robinsons I was shocked by the sight of Philly Cream Cheese. ‘What the hell do they have Philly for here in the Philippines – the bagels and lox?’ But they do and while it is sometimes “Out of stock,” when it’s there I buy a couple tubs.

Speaking of my ethnic foods, Robinsons also has Challah bread and it’s damn good. I don’t question the reason they have it, I just enjoy it.

Most hardware stores have cheap Chinese-made tools and often that’s good enough. But my fave hardware store, Rejoice, has a row of Klein tools. Klein is a US brand and arguably the best in the world at what they make. ‘What the hell are they doing with $50 pliers in the Philippines,’ I wonder. Don’t know but they’re there.

As a guitar maker and repair person I can get just about any part or tool I need from Lazada or Shopee, delivered to my doorstep and cheap. I order American brand vitamins, and my favourite cologne. You may have to do some searching but it’s mostly all available.

And once in a while when I really want something that’s a bit more high end or specialised I order it from the US or UK or Australia. It’s not tough.

But recently and for the first time since we’ve been here, Janet and I have been depressed because we couldn’t get something important to us – hash browns.

I got addicted to hash browns the last couple years of my employment. Approaching retirement, I had started going in to work early, so I could leave early, and began eating breakfast at the cafeteria. Eggs and hash browns were my favourites.

At some point I got Janet hooked as well. When we moved here I was pleasantly surprised to see Carnation hash browns at Hypermart. For joy for joy! When Hypermart was out of stock, Robinsons had them in stock. For two and a half years that has been our routine; a couple packs of hash browns a week and Janet and I had breakfast together.

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But then 3 weeks ago Hypermart was “out of stock.” We went to Robinsons. They were “out of stock” too. We weren’t too concerned. But a week went by and they weren’t at either store. No more happy breakfast with Janet; just grumbling. “I miss hash browns,” we’d cry.

Janet, being a fine cook and wonderful person said, “I can make them I’m sure.” “Don’t worry,” I said. “They’ll be back soon.” But they haven’t been. Life is not good.

Yesterday we were desperate enough that we actually asked a Manager at Robinsons when they’d be coming in. She just did a song and dance about waiting for orders from Manila. We knew it was BS, but we clung to the hope.

We’re like addicts missing our drug of choice. Hell we’d even buy the cheaper Robinsons brand of hash browns, but they’re out of stock too.

I may have to start getting breakfast at McDos and buying that crusty piece of shit they call a hash brown. Lord, spare me from that degradation!

So I walk around our lot depressed. My shop no longer excites me. I yell at the dog. My morning eggs sit on their plate and look lonely. I’m getting desperate. I may have to buy some potatoes and learn to make the damn things myself.

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PhilPost, Ninja Turtles and shipping yourself crap

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Today’s blog post won’t be quite as exciting and controversial as a couple of recent offerings, but it’s an important one to me.

Before I moved to PI I was told consistently that shipping to the Philippines was a losing proposition. Packages took forever to receive, they got lost or damaged, and customs charges were terrible.

As a person who had weened himself away from the malls in the US, replacing those experiences with online shopping, I wondered how I would end up surviving.

PhilPost:

So, for the first few months here I ordered nothing. If I couldn’t find something I needed in a local Dumaguete store, I bought a substitute or nothing. But after a few months I needed guitar strings and took the plunge, ordering from my two favourite US string etailers. Shipping charges weren’t too bad and 4 weeks later I had both boxes in my hot little hands.

From there I went crazy. I ordered stuff small and large, dirt cheap and somewhat expensive. I ordered stuff that was break proof and other things that were more fragile. I ordered from the US, UK, Canada, Australia, China, etc. I ordered off of eBay, AliExpress, and directly from vendors.

Here, for what it’s worth, are some observations. If the vendor ships via a postal service (USPS, Royal Mail, etc.) it will be handed off to PhilPost once it clears customs in Manila. Packages seem to go through customs in anywhere between a few days and over a week. From Manila the package is sent to Dumaguete and from Duma to the Valencia Post Office. I think the Duma to Valencia trip adds as much as an extra week.

Once in Valencia, I get a message from my “text mate” at the Post Office and pick up the package. At the PO the charge is 112P (a little over $2). The charge is the same whether the package is valued at $1 or $1000; same with size. I have been told that the 112P represents shipping/handling plus customs charges. The consistent and low price makes things easy.

I have sent myself approx. 40 packages and they have all arrived safe and sound. Delivery times have been anywhere from under 3 weeks to 7 weeks. I was positive that the item that took 7 weeks was lost and told the vendor so. He asked me to wait a few more days before filing a claim and sure enough it arrived, having been routed through another Philippines city.

Now you have to be self-aware, guys. If you need Amazon drone-like instant gratification, PhilPost is not for you. But for the vast majority of items I am fine with the delivery times.

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Lazada/Shopee and Ninja Vans:

Lazada and Shopee are the two largest Amazon-like providers in the Philippines. They have items that are shipped from within the Philippines (usually Manila) and items that come from overseas. Whether it is shipped from Manila or from abroad, from the standpoint of the buyer the process is the same. Once the item arrives in Dumaguete it is loaded onto one of many delivery motorcycles, operated by several companies, such as Ninja Vans and delivered directly to your place. Sometimes from past experience the driver knows where you live and sometimes you will have to direct him. “You pass the mango tree and go left and then right past the large coconut, etc.”

While you can pay with credit cards on Lazada and Shoppe I never do. I order COD, which gives me some piece of mind that I haven’t paid out anything in advance and can examine the package on arrival. Shipping costs are relatively small, depending on the part of the Philippines you live in and sometimes Shoppee has free or very cheap shipping.

If the item is coming from within the Philippines, delivery times are a week or less. Three days is not uncommon. If the item comes from outside the Philippines (such as China) I typically receive it in 10 days to two weeks. I assume these items have to go through customs but there doesn’t seem to be the long customs delays nor any large customs charges. I have heard various explanations why this is and keep my mouth shut!

I have received at least 35-40 packages from Lazada and Shopee and none have been lost or damaged. I guess I am a lucky guy. The only problem I ever had was an item where the Ninjas tried to deliver twice, we weren’t around, and they sent it back to the seller. I just re-ordered and received the item a couple weeks later.

Western Shipping Services:

Let’s say you just have to get something quickly or the seller only ships internationally via a packaging service such as FedEx or DHL. Yes, depending on what shipping service you paid for you will receive the item quickly but you may also have a whopping customs charge for your trouble. You will be paying what the normal customs charge is suppose to be. The handful of times I have shipped this way it was not unusual to have a 10-25% customs charge upon delivery. So I only use this method if I have to or if I believe the item requires special care or insurance.

So that’s my story (and I’m sticking to it). I’ve sent myself nearly 100 packages, cheap and not so cheap and have received every one. I know that once I post this blog I will hear from people who had different experiences but what can I say. I can only report what my experience has been. Of course I do believe in karma and once I post this no doubt a package will go missing but at this point with a .1000 batting average I am a happy purchaser.

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Why the Hell Would You Buy Property in the Philippines – Documents Required

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Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

Part 4

Part 5

Part 6

Part 7

We have often been asked over the last year what documentation is required to purchase a lot in the Philippines. Thanks to Janet’s organisational efforts, these are the requirements we asked from the seller before we gave any money to them:

  1. Original title (check @ Registry of Deeds) if it is authentic and if the seller is the actual owner of the property.
  2. 2020 Tax Declaration.
  3. 2020 Tax Clearance (has the tax been paid). 1, 2, and 3 should match.
  4. Location plan/vicinity map/sketch plan (we recommend asking the seller to re-survey the lot in your presence).
  5. Subdivision survey if the lot is subdivided (ex., common lot).
  6. Sworn Declaration of No Improvements issued by City/Municipal Assesor (meaning the lot has no building or permanent fence )
  7. Seller(s) Tax Identification Number (photocopy of the ID is better)
  8. At least 1 Gov’t photo ID of the seller(s) (photocopy)
  9. Notarized Special Power of Attorney – if the person signing the Deed Of Sale is not the actual owner as it appears on the title (we never considered this option – too risky) but it can be done.
  10. Certificate of Philippines Consulate if the SPA is excuted abroad.
  11. Does the lot have direct access to the main/barangay road? If not , 11A.) Have a notarized Right of Way Agreement (from the front lot owner) saying that the road is donated or you have the full right to use it and the actual size in meters. 11B.) If it has an existing right of way already (check at the Assesor’s office if it is legit & recorded)
  12. If it’s a house and lot – you need to have the original blue prints of the house.
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Additional:

If you have all these and checked their authenticity then next is the payment; who pays what depends on what you agreed/negotiated.

Drafting of the Deed of Sale: Lawyers fees (often a percentage of the sale) are open to negotiation.

Capital Gain Tax is 6% of the sale price or the market value whichever is higher. Documentary Stamp Tax is 1.5% of the same value.

Transfer Tax Fee.

There’s more little stuff but the most important items are listed above.

Addendum: Many Filipinos do not have an Original Title to their property and will in all likelihood never get one. In fact many expats who buy property are in the same circumstances. Nonetheless many of these people build houses and live there happily. This was not for us. Our goal was to have a lot with an Original Title. Therefore the above list was what we considered necessary to transfer the title.

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Our Trip to Vietnam – From Grab to Grab Ass

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We hadn’t traveled out of the Philippines in nearly a year and that was to the US to see family; so it sort of doesn’t count. Since the house was finished, the house blessing done, the shop done, lawn installed, etc. it seemed like a great time to get out of Dodge. I’d been to Vietnam eight years before (prior to marrying Janet) and had told her consistently that it was a place I wanted to take her. The following are some impressions.

Grab Not Cab: You’d think after years of Philippines experience we wouldn’t make the taxi cab mistake but we did. We arrived in Ho Chi Minh City late and took a metered cab. I had downloaded Grab the day before and set it up, but since I had never used it, I did the traditional and crappy taxi thing. Big mistake. When we arrived at our condo rental we couldn’t figure out what we owned the driver, who spoke barely a word of English. After 5 minutes of arguing it became clear that he wanted an astronomical amount that would have been higher than a NYC cab fare. I refused, pretending to be an idiot American (an easy pretend). We finally agree to less than half of what the meter said but about triple what I should have paid.

The next day we did our first Grab. What a revelation! Easy to use, the car arrived minutes later, I knew exactly what the fare would be, no cash was involved, I could choose to tip or not after the trip was over, and best of all no one had to speak any pesky English! We took Grab throughout the rest of our week and the only issue we had was traditional taxis stopping and trying to pick us up or even pretending that they were the Grab car; Grab tells you the license plate number so always pay attention to that. Now that we know how well it works any trip in Manila or Cebu will from now on be a Grab. If only they could set up Dumaguete’s trikes on Grab. What are the odds?

Japanese Steaks Are Small: One of the reasons we were traveling to Vietnam was to celebrate my birthday. The number’s too high to track, so don’t ask me what birthday it is. I looked up reviews and found a Japanese steak house on the 77th floor of Landmark 81, the tallest building in the city. This building was so tall that you had to take 3 elevators to get to the 77th floor – I kid you not. It took two elevators to get to the 78th floor and then they dropped you out the window one floor to get back to floor 77. Ok, that’s not true; you had to take another elevator to get down to floor 77. About halfway through this elevator excursion I realised that I hadn’t been this high up in a very long time and it scared the shit out of me. We reached the restaurant and were seated next to a window. I looked out and thought, ‘Why the hell did I come here?’ Janet, ever the positive wife asked “How tall was the World Trade Center?” The birthday celebration was not starting out the way I’d anticipated.

I ordered the famed Wagyu sirloin steak. Janet ordered salmon, which became a favourite of hers back in Portland. The salmon arrived first. It looked good but it was about 3/4 of the size of a business card. The steak arrived next. “Did I order from the appetiser menu?” I asked Janet. The steak was about the size of my iPhone (and thinner) and I have a 6S. Thank goodness we’d gotten a salad as well.

Both the steak and salmon were delicious but you know good taste only takes you so far when you finish in three bites.

‘Maybe we should get a dessert?’ I thought. Actually I thought, ‘Maybe I should get another steak,’ but at the prices I wasn’t gonna do that.

Darling Janet had, unbeknownst to me, asked about cake for my birthday. The lights to the entire restaurant were dimmed and the staff brought out the piece of cake and sang happy birthday. I was just thinking, ‘Is this enough to fill me up?’ I also was thinking based on the thimble sized salmon and iPhone sized steak, ‘What’s this cake costing me?’ Turned out to be complimentary; Janet had charmed them.

Bring Your Own Napkins: I liked Vietnamese food and we had many good experiences eating. One thing that was odd was that at many restaurants they provided you with damp wipes rather than napkins. At the end of the meal Janet examined the bill and asked the waiter about a particular charge. Yes it was for the wipes; they were charging about $.25/wipe and we’d both used a couple. WTF! From then on I made sure I was a one wipe guy.

The Virus and Masks: Lots of people in Vietnam wear face masks when they are out in public but the number seemed to increase as the week went on and the news about the Chinese Coronavirus got more dire. As I watched all the masks appalled, the cynic in me kicked in and I thought, ‘So you all think a $.01 piece of paper is gonna block a virus?’ Eventually even Janet went out and bought herself some face masks. It saddened me, all these masked faces. It reminded me of a Danny Boyle zombie movie. Perhaps it’s just my old age. Back in my childhood wearing a mask meant one of two things: you were either pretending to be the Lone Ranger or were robbing us .

By the time we got on our flight to head back to the Philippines I would estimate that 75% of the passengers on our flight (including Janet) were wearing masks. All the flight crew were masked. And not a single one of them looked like Clayton Moore.

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When we arrived in Manila there was technology for checking passengers temperature. This is the wonderful world we live in.

Crazy Drivers – Vietnam Style:

For those who think that the Philippines has the market cornered on crazy drivers, come to Vietnam. With 4 million motor bikes in Ho Chi Minh City, it’s the Wild Wild West. Bikes routinely drive on the sidewalks as pedestrians jump out of the way. But just as in the Philippines, within few days Janet and I got used to it. But be forewarned; a car or bike will absolutely not stop for a pedestrian.

Happy Ending and a Shoe Fetish:

In the middle of our week we wanted a massage. I had regaled Janet about stories of the wonderful massages I’d had in Vietnam eight years before. Unfortunately it was January 24th, New Years Eve in Vietnam and we found that most massage places were closed. The only open one nearby was in that high rise where we’d had dinner. We booked a time. The facility was the fanciest massage place I’d ever seen. The bathroom, with sauna, probably cost as much as my entire house. The massage that followed was decent but not the best we’d had. In fact the best we’d ever had, was a couple months ago in Bohol.

Still, we wanted another experience and so on the last day in Vietnam we walked though the downtown district and picked one of the dozens of massage places in that area. No reviews checked this time; no fancy bathrooms. They asked for cash upfront which I thought was odd, but it was cheap so why not. How bad could it be?

Janet and I were next to each other with a curtain drawn between us. My masseuse began and the massage, while not the best I’ve had, was not bad. As she massaged my legs she brushed up against the important stuff – a few times. Not the first time this has happened in a massage but it became clear with the frequency that this was not an accident. Massage styles are different in different countries and I wondered what Janet was experiencing. But soon, as often happens in a massage, I went into that half sleep state with eyes closed. Finally for some reason I opened my eyes and the massage lady pressed her finger to her lips to signal that I should shush. OK now I knew what was really being offered. I thought it took a lot of guts (or balls lol) to make such an offer as I lay next to my wife. I made a face and shook my head and the massage proceeded normally.

Afterwards, Janet sensed something was wrong, especially since the massage ladies didn’t leave as we are used to. They hung around straightening up the area as we dressed. “What happened?” she asked. “I’ll tell you later,” I said. “Let’s just get out of here.”

We left quickly and there were no tips given. Janet described her massage as “the worst.” We got out of the place and within ten feet a guy approached me and pointed to my shoe which had a tear in it. Coincidentally, he had a shoe repair kit and began miming that he would fix the shoe. We both yelled at him to stop and scurried across the street. We got into a restaurant and examined my shoe, which had obviously been cut from within the massage place. And then I described my massage experience to Janet. I may be explaining to Janet for quite a while lol.

BTW, I should be clear that despite the levity and a few odd occurrences we had a great time! We studied Vietnamese cooking, and learned about Vietnamese coffee. We also had a French bakery next door to our condo. Life is good!

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The Passing of a Friend

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Prologue: I first have to apologise to my wife, Janet. After the last couple of blog entries, which were serious and somewhat negative, she asked if my next entry could be more of my typical funny or irrelevant style and I happily agreed. But as you’ll see, this ain’t it.

Facebook and all social media are a weird amalgam of good and bad. One of the good things is that I have many many Facebook friends who I have never met in the “real” world. Most of them came my way via this very blog. Guys (a few ladies too) friended me because they liked my writing or humour or because they too were married to a Filipina, or had moved or were considering moving to the Philippines. More recently I got lots of friend request from guys who were interested in my house build.

One such friend was Alan Zaintz. He lived in Cebu and Florida and was married with a young child. We chatted online regularly, particularly the last few months. Of course we shared being Americans married to a Filipina. We also shared being Jewish; with names like Zaintz and Weisbord it was pretty obvious. There aren’t many Jewish expats here but I know a few.

As I say, the Facebook thing is weird. Is a guy a friend who I have never met? Anyway I thought he was a friend and so did Janet. He “liked” many of my posts on FB and commented often.

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This morning I found out that he passed away in Florida at the end of December. I don’t know the cause although in our conversations he implied that he was in excellent health.

Again, how do I feel about the death of a friend I only knew in cyberspace? In my case I feel as sad as I would if he were someone I knew here in Dumaguete.

And then of course my own fears kick in; those of mortality. Alan was actually two years younger than me. Janet reminded me to enjoy life now since there are no future guarantees. I ask you all to do the same.

I have nothing else profound to say. I can only ask you all to lift a glass today to the memory of my friend, Alan Zaintz.