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Our Progress Toward the Big Move

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Lots of people ask me how our planned retirement and move to the Philippines is going, so it felt like a good time to update. It also seemed like a good time to detail some of the decisions we are making; that way we can look back in a year or two and see how badly they all went 🙂

Getting rid of the crap: Strangely enough, I’ve enjoyed downsizing. It’s been going on for a couple years but is now in real earnest. A month ago we had a big garage sale which went well and was lots of fun. We scoured the house for everything we didn’t need and didn’t intend to bring to the Philippines. About 3/4 of the junk put out was sold by super pitchman, Dave. The rest we either put out on the sidewalk marked free or I took to the Goodwill. I even made some money, which I put into our “Get outta Dodge fund.”

BB box

We decided quite awhile ago that we would not be shipping furniture or large items. We will be going the Balikbayan Box route and my current guess is that we will ship between 10-15 BB boxes @ $75/each. The boxes will contain clothes (although I am already donating most of my winter clothing), some kitchen items (the better pots for example), a few household items and items of sentimental value. Unquestionably the biggest single area of stuff to ship are my tools and guitar making supplies.

For many years I collected old hand woodworking tools. There, I admitted it – I was a collector. When you have 2 finger planes, you’re a user; when you have 30, you’re a collector.

2 finger and 1 palm plane by Legendary English plane maker, Bill Carter.
2 finger and 1 palm plane by Legendary English plane maker, Bill Carter.
Chris Laarman finger planes on rough archtop top.
Chris Laarman finger planes on rough archtop top.

A few years ago I started downsizing and probably sold off 60-70% of the tools I had; there were a lot of happy tool collectors on ebay. At the same time I have acquired some items, wanting to have enough supplies to make at least 3 guitars in retirement. By the time I run out of those supplies I will have found local sources.

I had my biggest victory on this 2016 Sale Olympics a week ago. In a fit of stupidity (or excess cash) I bought a high end elliptical machine some years back. Had it installed in our basement. Janet used it more than me. I didn’t want to end up just giving it away and worried about how I would get it out of the basement. I listed it on Craigslist and for weeks – crickets. Then I heard from a guy who was interested. He arrived with a trailer behind his SUV – that was a good sign. He brought his own tools – even better. Most importantly his wife brought the envelope with cash; not even an argument over the asking price. We took the thing partially apart and the 2 of us (both over 60 oldies) schlepped it up the stairs. I didn’t even end up with a sore back; the positive influence of an extra grand in my pocket, I suppose. Our basement looks quite a bit emptier and my “Get out of Dodge fund” is a bit fuller.

Next spring we’ll sell the furniture put the house on the market, ship the BB boxes, and then it all gets very serious.

Finances: I’ve met with my bank and the company that manages my retirement account to see what issues I might have to deal with when living out of the country. Of course they want my vast kano wealth (just kidding) and so are pitching things like I will have no problems.
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Where: While the decision to move to the Dumaguete area was made a while back, the question is how. We definitely want to rent for a while at first (a year?) and then may buy a house. But how to pull this all off? Oh, I could rent a house or apartment online, but do we trust the pics and glowing descriptions online? Or we could just arrive and with with “boots on the ground” stay in a hotel and look for a place. The problem with that is where to ship our boxes without an address?

There are a few complexes that rent by the month (most require longer leases) and we could rent for a couple months, have a place to ship our stuff, and then find the real rental when we arrive. Decisions decisions…

Tricycle-Batangas-PhilippinesTransportation: Do we need a car? Janet thinks we do and I tend to agree. But what kind? After all I will no longer have the long daily commute, thank God; I will be an old fart retiree! So new or used? Small, large or medium? SUV? Old pickup truck? Jeepney? Trike? Who knows, although unlike many other retirees there, I will not go all Fonzie and buy a motorcycle. Janet is most attracted by the looks; I mostly care about cheap to own and operate. I am open to suggestions? No matter what, I am sure we will still use plenty of public transportation; trikes are cheap in Dumaguete; buses are readily available. Most importantly, Janet knows how to get from Duma to Alcoy, her hometown.

Work Schedule: The clock is ticking and I’ve got one of those countdown programs displayed on my screen, that I glance at whenever I get overwhelmed, which in my work environment is hourly. My company understands firing better than retiring.  I therefore know that there’s always a possibility that I could be downsized before my planned leaving date, but since that date is quickly approaching it matters less and less. I hope to go on my own terms but at a certain point…

BTW, for any co-workers or, worse yet, managers reading this, you know I love you, right? I have just one word for you in anticipation of my retirement – kudos 🙂

Our US Home: Once we get to the 1st of the year we will be getting ready for the aforementioned sale of the last of the crap and put the house on the market. There’s a couple minor upgrade items to perform, but nothing too big. Fortunately the real estate market in my area is pretty hot, so I don’t anticipate a long wait for a sale. But as we know buying and selling a home is one of the most stressful things in Western life, so I will at least have one more stressful task to finish before I hit the beach with a San Miguel in my hand.

Other things to do: Buy a bunch of crap when we arrive in Dumaguete to replace the crap we sold here; find a doctor, dentist and acupuncturist; visit the relatives on the East Coast one more time; throw a party; throw two parties. And get ready for the great adventure!

 

 

 

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“Fresh Fish!”

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Janet and I went to dinner tonight at a local seafood restaurant. This is not unusual in the Northwest, where seafood is king but it was sort of a last minute decision and it went like all restaurant decisions between us.

Me: Why don’t we go out to dinner? Where should we go?

Janet: Wherever the husband wants to go.

Me: (made a couple suggestions – got a couple crinkled noses). We ended up going where the wife wanted to go.

Who said Filipina wives are different from American wives 🙂

We’re talking at the table waiting for our order to arrive. Janet remarked for the hundredth time in our marriage that she misses fresh fish. It took me at least a year of marriage to release that her notion of fresh fish is slightly different from my American notion, which usually includes the image of the Gortens Fisherman. OK, I’ll admit the image above is David Letterman, pretending to be the Gortens Fisherman, but that’s just as accurate.

Janet’s notion of fresh fish is pretty odd; you meet the fisherman at the boat and buy fish that are still flopping around. Or you meet the fisherman on the beach where he has just docked his boat. Or, better yet, your dad catches the fish in the ocean and brings it home. Or best still, you catch the fish and keep the best parts for yourself. As I say, Filipino notions of fresh are pretty odd.

In America our notion of fresh fish is that I see fish in the supermarket lying on ice and it looks yummy. I believe it’s fresh because, like Mulder in the X-Files, “I want to believe.” But of course in reality, the supermarket’s fish lady, who looks neither like the Gortens Fisherman or David Letterman, opens up a box of frozen fish, thaws the suckers out (none of them are flopping) and throws them on the ice. The ice is the most authentic part of the presentation.

Growing up, my notion of fresh fish came from the Three Stooges. It’s less of a con than that supermarket presentation.

As an old fart, I began telling Janet what it was like when I was a kid growing up. We went to the Butcher Shop, the Bakery, the Fish Shop, etc. Janet’s eyes grew larger recognizing that the America I grew up in was not that different from the Philippines she grew up in – well except for the 50 years difference.

Of course once supermarkets began to grab hold, there was no turning back. My mother still got her lunchmeats and bagels at “the kosher deli” but the supermarket was impossible to resist for anything else.

Now Janet works in a supermarket and she began telling me how it really works, which is basically that nearly everything in your American supermarket got there frozen. For all I know the Scott Toilet Paper came off the truck frozen and was dethawed before it could hit my white shiny loboot.
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This got me to thinking. Just as my mother went the way of supermarkets 50 years ago, we now of course use them for the convenience. But unlike her generation, that understood that supermarkets were only convenient and cheap, we’ve actually come to believe that the product is better.

After all, unless you’ve watched a Rocky movie lately, you’ve never watched the butcher carve a side of beef. Unless you’ve watched some gross documentary on Tyson’s, you don’t know or wanna know how chickens are raised or killed. BTW, you do realize that most animals poop a lot and rarely know which bathroom to use.

I hear guys all the time (myself included) express shock at Philippines wet markets. The meats and fish bake in the heat, there are flies all around, and hell, the vendors don’t always look all that sanitary. In short, it ain’t the Walmart produce section.

“Don’t worry about the flies – we won’t weigh them.”

We in the West have convinced ourselves that animals and produce come from sanitary environments without flies, or at least the flies have been sprayed to death by the latest organic pesticide.

So, we’ve taken the natural experience of a fish caught, sold and consumed immediately, perverted it with a chunk of ice, and convinced ourselves it’s better for us – that is it would be better if those darn corporations would stop providing us with tasty GMOs in our sanitary food. And then, if we’re rich kanos, we spend twice as much for products labeled organic or natural, meaning they’re grown or raised like they use to be when I was a kid and often still are in the 3rd world.

Of course when Janet and I move to the Philippines I am sure that I will still be put off by the flies in the wet market. I will just choose to remember my favorite line from the Firesign Theatre describing the Giant Toad Supermarket: “Don’t worry about the flies – we won’t weigh them.”

 

 

 

 

 

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Why I’d Vote for Duterte over Trump or Clinton

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I don’t really intend for this posting to be about politics but that never has stopped me from creating a controversial or fun title.

That being said, I do like new Philippines President, Rodrigo Duterte. I must like him: I spent a good chunk of yesterday listening to his 90 minute State of the Nation address and half of it was in Tagalog; I know no Tagalog, but he’s funnier in Tagalog than in English so I listened to that part as well. My wife upon hearing I’d listened to the entire speech was suitably impressed and usually good things come from impressing Janet 🙂

I must admit that even though I am a big Bernie Sanders supporter, I doubt I have ever spent 90 uninterrupted minutes listening to him. And there is no amount you could pay me to get me to listen to 90 minutes of Trump or Clinton. That would be a punishment worse than death!

I’ll get more into Duterte later, but what I really wanted to talk about is my upcoming retirement, move to the Philippines and one more reason why I want to move. I posted quite a while back some of the reasons for moving abroad. As with most expats the reasons include: sun, sand, cost of living, my wife and her family, adventure, travel, etc.

But there’s one other. I live in a country that’s one sick puppy and I’m tired of it. Let’s start with all the shootings. I get it; America’s a gun totin’ culture and has been since it’s inception. And I’m no dope; where there’s guns there will be shootings. Nor am I scared. While cautious I will go anywhere I like without fear.

So why then does this bother me? Friends have said, “there’s lots of crime in the Philippines. Doesn’t that worry you?” Nope. If I get shot during a robbery in the Philippines, at least I understand the reason – somebody wanted a little foreigner cash. If somebody gets shot by a jealous wife, I get that too. And BTW, I’ve already let Janet know that we will not have a gun in the Philippines, since I think I would be the one it might get used on lol.

But there is no comprehensible reason for the shootings here – and that bothers me more.

——————————————

Getting back to Duterte; when he talks about shooting drug lords and dealers – at least I get that. Not everybody’s gonna agree about that over the top solution but it’s an understandable answer to a very big problem in the Philippines. In the US we have a catastrophic mental health crisis and our solution is to dispense drugs and guns with equal ease – wonderful.

Janet tells me that most of the people she works with are on some sort of mental health medication and while I suppose that it is a good thing that people who need it can get it, it’s appalling that apparently everyone needs it!

Go to the Philippines and people aren’t taking anti-depressants; they’re taking shabu and getting shot by the police, as approved by President Duterte. But again, at least I get that.

In short, while in many ways I still love my country and the city I live in, in many other ways I am alienated from a fundamentally unhappy culture and feel compelled to leave it.

——————————————

OK, now back to politics:

We were in the Philippines in April and I was shocked at the amount of rabid pro-Duterte people I ran into. Taxi drivers were asking me about what I thought of Duterte. Apparently as an American I am considered more politically astute. I mustered up what little Visayan I could manage and said, “Duterte maayo.” I am sure I swayed more than a few votes with my profound words.

I mustered up what little Visayan I could manage and said, “Duterte maayo.” I am sure I swayed more than a few votes with my profound words.

But seriously, Filipinos were genuinely excited about the change in leadership they were hoping for and still seem excited about what they have gotten.

Duterte is what we used to call in the West a “strongman.” Not a dictator, but not a guy who’s gonna wait for the congress to approve everything. In fact, he spent part of his State of the Nation speech asking to be given more power and my guess is he’s gonna get it.

While “power corrupts and absolute power corrupts absolutely” (see Trump and Clinton) sometimes in the right hands it can be wielded effectively. For example, as Mayor of Davao, Duterte initiated the 1st 911 emergency system in the Philippines. Now he’s been in office as President less than a month and is initiating 911 for the entire country – and doing it now! Imagine how long an American President, with our pesky Congress and laws would take to get something like this done.
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And once Duterte was elected, with his well known position on drug lords and dealers (said position being horizontal and six feet under), drug dealers and users began spontaneously turning themselves into the police. So far, thousands have come forward throughout the country, confessing their past sins, agreeing not to do it again, and oh yes, “please don’t shoot me.”

And BTW, for those critics who cry that “human rights” are being violated, during his speech the President had this to say.

So after that bit of excitement let me swing back to my upcoming retirement. One of the things you have to do when you prepare to retire and move is to downsize big time. The decisions on what to keep actually became quite easy. If we’re not planning to send something to the Philippines, we have to either sell it, donate it or trash it; no other options. Thus Janet and I planned a large garage sale which we held a few weeks ago. We collected all our junk in the living room, preparing for the day when we hoped it would all go flying out of our lives. We posted an Event on Facebook. Janet put up flyers. And Dave became for at least two days a big time wheeler-dealer.

We easily disposed of 3/4 of our junk and will donate the rest. Hell, we even made a few bucks (more than a few really) which I put into our “Get out of Dodge fund.” Of course one Filipina friend, not quite comprehending our goal, told other friends that poor Dave and Janet must need money.

Next spring the furniture will go, Balikbayan boxes will get shipped, the house will go on the blocks, and then it will all become very very real.

In the meantime, here’s one more snipet from Duterte, my soon-to-be President. Here’s how he preps for the SONA speech. Can’t help it – I like this guy!

https://youtu.be/BaG5aOb07Jw

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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The Nose Blowing Controversy

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First let me state what I hear about on almost  a daily basis. Expats who live in the Philippines or guys in the U.S. married to Filipinas are often surprised, put off or flat out grossed out by what they consider rude or unusual behavior by Filipinos. Perhaps the most common complaint is how many men in the Philippines, finding themselves a bit bathroom-challenged, will use the side of the road for a pit stop. Second might be the singing of karaoke at all hours of the night.

I usually fall back on the “it’s a different culture” argument and figure that you can either adjust or not. I’m a flexible kind of guy and figure I can adjust. That and the fact that the bathrooms at my job and the bathroom habits of my co-workers are not necessarily any more sanitary than the side of the road! I mean if it’s good enough for Clemenza, worried about his cannoli, it’s good enough for me:

https://youtu.be/yQ9cPCOgAz8

But my point is that this cultural grossness works both ways. Janet and I like to go out to dinner once or twice a week. It’s just a nice break. We have a favorite Italian place that I’ve been going to for 40 years; standard neighborhood decor that hasn’t changed in all that time; fortunately neither has the food. Plus it’s cheap!

While we like the place and love the food, invariably there are some rather large patrons who have consumed the pasta and cannoli a bit too often. You know – the Clemenza types. Three years she has lived here but Janet is still stunned at such a view. The woman at the table next to us had a loboot twice as wide as her chair and I knew that Janet would notice. No doubt we both silently wondered whether the old chair might give way.

But it was her husband that grossed out Janet and ruined her dinner. Grabbing a napkin he blew his nose – loudly. As the old joke goes, “at least his horn still worked.” Janet wrinkled her nose and made one of those ‘I cannot eat with such grossness’ faces. Nothing stops me from eating those yummy meatballs so I ignored it.

Five minutes later the guy blew his horn again and Janet lost it. “Can’t we complain to the manager?”

“Why?”

“It’s rude. In the Philippines the manager would ask him to use the bathroom.”

While I agreed that it was a little off-putting I told Janet, “In the U.S. it’s accepted and no way is the manager gonna make him use the bathroom. I mean he did use a napkin, right?”

“I don’t care. You should not be doing that at the table for everyone to hear.”

“His family doesn’t seem to mind.”
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“But its ruined my dinner.”

Janet proceeded to repeat why such behavior would be socially unacceptable in the Philippines. “My mother would have sent you away from the table.”

“Your mother’s tough,” I said making a mental note to never make a sound at my inlaws table. I don’t want to miss out on the adobo.

Janet and I weren’t exactly arguing but she was intransigent; the behavior was inappropriate and would ruin any civilized person’s meal; as an uncivilized person I was trying to enjoy my meatballs.

As it is, I try very hard to ignore my fellow Americans when at restaurants. If they aren’t 400 pounds or blowing their nose, they are talking politics or bragging about their last gun acquisition. I would much rather enjoy my spaghetti and cute wife.

But in this case my dinner was ruined not by the guy’s habits but by Janet’s laugh out loud impression of his honking.

“OK, now my meal is ruined too!”

“You see!” she said triumphantly.

Of course I still finished every bite.

 

 

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Stress and the Filipina

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It’s June 1st. May has just ended and none too soon. It was one of the most stressful months in recent memory.  And stress is the subject of today’s post.

Janet and I arrived back in town  from our wonderful trip to the Philippines at the end of April to discover that my employer had decided that despite the tens of billions of dollars in profit they earn, that 11% of the staff had to go. We had arrived Sunday night and I intended to sleep in and do some work from home when I awoke Monday afternoon. But instead I went to work bright and early to see if I still had a job.

My friend Jim messaged me via Facebook at about 6AM to say he had just received an email and wondered if I had; I hadn’t. Throughout the day and the rest of the week, the bodies began to pile up. Of course since I work for a high tech company, they can’t simply pull a Trump and say, “you’re fired!” They developed multiple categories: involuntary separations (get out – now), voluntary separations (here’s some money – now get out), and my favorite, enhanced retirement (you’re old – here’s a bunch of money – now wheel yourself out).

For the entire month everyone walked around with that look like they envied the dead. And yet I survived, at least for now. I have been joking that by the time the actions are over I will be the oldest person working there. It is no longer a joke.

But wait a minute, you ask, what does this have to do with Filipinas or even my wife, Janet. Patience, grasshopper.

Each day I would come home more beat up, worried and stressed than the last. And each day Janet would say, “Don’t worry – we’re fine. If you lose your job we will just retire now instead of next year.”

Last Thursday was the topper to my wonderful month. I was driving home from work on the freeway at 60 MPH. The modern tire air pressure warning system told me that my tire needed air. “Nice,” I thought. “When I get home I’ll add some air. What a great feature in these modern cars!” I thought that about 30 seconds before the tire decompressed – on the freeway – at 60 MPH.

As if it was something I did every day, I somehow pulled the car off to the shoulder and called roadside assistance. The tow truck arrived. I stood 100 feet behind my car, directing cars whizzing by at 70 away from us so that the tow truck operator didn’t get – you know – run over! It was actually kind of fun. It never occurred to me how lucky I was to survive the blowout. Nor did it occur to me that I was an idiot for directing freeway traffic. After all, it was a lot more exciting than work.

But the next day when I called the dealer and was told the price of the new tire, I lost it. “The tire’s a year and a half old. It has a warranty, right?”

“Yes sir, but that only covers manufacturer defects.”

‘What the hell would you call this? The thing blew at 60 MPH!”

“The tire was slashed. You must have run over something.”

“I didn’t run over anything. I was just driving on the freeway. I’m lucky to be alive.” I threw that in just to bring out some guilt; it didn’t work.

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“Well that price includes $120 for the sensor?”

“The sensor? You mean the sensor that gave me a 30 second warning that the tire was going to blow?”

“Yes sir.”

And when I told Janet about what happened and the expense just at a time when I might lose my job she just shrugged one of those ‘what else can you do’ sort of shrugs. She hugged me and again told me not to worry.

And it struck me that she was truly being honest in her assessment. She genuinely did not seem worried. Unlike us Americans she chooses not to worry about things she cannot control.

It’s a quality I have seen and admired in the Philippines; a ‘life is short, enjoy it now’ type of quality. It’s also a quality that some expats living in the Philippines do not admire. It drives them crazy to see people smiling despite their circumstances, despite their poverty, despite scams and corruption, and even despite slow service at Jolibees.

So bottom line is that my 28 year old wife is wiser and more mature than her geriatric husband. Like most Western men, I worry and stress. When I was younger I needed stress; it seemed like I couldn’t get going without stress. But now as old age approaches I don’t like stress.

And unlike most of my peers I am not much capable of alleviating stress through drinking. Oh sure, I like my San Miguel at dinner. But one is about it; two’s my limit. And that doesn’t allow me to get hammered enough to reduce the stress. If any of you drinkers has a suggestion about how I can increase my intake, please let me know.

I look forward to retirement for many reasons but the notion that it will reduce my stress is at the top of the list.

But still I look around the Philippines and see generally happy people and wonder – why aren’t they stressed to the max. Oh I know, there’s “high blood” in the Philippines, just like there is here. But you don’t see that “I wish I were dead” sort of strained face that many Americans go around displaying.

One more addendum. Last night, May 31st, I come home to find a letter from the IRS. They claim we owe a boatload of money. I stress and Janet says, “Don’t worry. Come sit next to me. You’ll figure it out.” And maybe I will; or pay them the boatload of money. Now where did I leave that San Miguel?

 

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The Language Issue

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One of the things that many expats to the Philippines want to do is to learn the language. Well, at least we say we want to; in reality once most of us have learned “San Miguel, salamat” our studies end. For me the language thing is a real challenge. I was a good student about 100 years ago but never came close to mastering the two foreign languages I studied for years. I’ll come back to one of those languages later.

Since Janet and I are planning to live in the Philippines and pretty damn soon, I have been trying to learn. The Philippines makes such an endeavor even more complex since there are so many separate languages spoken there. No, I am not talking about different dialects of the same language, but completely different languages. Fortunately Janet speaks Cebuano or Visayan, which is the dominant language in the central part of the Philippines, including Janet’s home of Cebu, as well as Dumaguete, Negros, where we will eventually find ourselves.

So, prior to our recent trip to the Philippines I did some work on language basics. Janet helped, though I sensed it was at times frustrating for her. I worked on simple stuff: please and thank you; good morning/afternoon/evening. That level of language. I also had some help from a new source: Dumaguete vblogger, Bud Brown. You can see him here: @ https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCqtDAUVhJQZzHsNi-XzzP7w

Bud is a sweet guy, even older than me, and I began to watch his adventures living in Dumaguete. But Bud has an advantage over most of us: he speaks Visayan and Tagalog (the language of Luzon) pretty well. Of course, he developed those skills though hard work and a 40 year relationship with his asawa, Gloria.

The point being, his videos show him speaking Visayan to local residents. For me I find it difficult to learn language via rote memorization and much easier to learn by watching and seeing the words used in context.

mga_tsinelas_56943

For example, one of the first words I learned though Bud is tchinelas – flip flops. He loves to give inexpensive tchinelas to local kids who don’t have any or whose tchinelas are worn to their end of life. Since I love wearing sandals and flip flops I mastered tchinelas, which is pronounced without the “t.” So, say it with me – chin-e-las. Very good, class. Salamat.

Janet and I quickly became fan’s of Bud’s videos and she began to quiz me based on some of the words I was learning.

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I tried as much as possible and I think people did appreciate it but I find that many Filipinos want to speak English to an American as much as I wanted to speak Visayan to a Filipino. So my maayong buntag would be answered with “good morning, sir.”

I also tried to throw in a smattering of kamusta ka, how are you, and when someone asked me  how I was, I answer maayo, good, because I didn’t know how to say, “OK – waiting for my next San Miguel.”

I did however learn that if you say, Okay lang, as often as possible you sound much more Filipino than if you just say, “okay.” So okay lang became my go to expression.

Our itinerary on this trip was a week in Alcoy, Cebu, a week in Dumaguete, and then a final week in Palawan. While I won’t say that my language skills improved significantly the first couple weeks, I did enjoy trying. We then arrived in Palawan. Unfortunately, Janet had failed to mention that they speak Tagalog in Palawan. So my maayong buntags  failed to elicit the proper response. “They speak Tagalog here,” Janet informed me.

“Tagalog? What good is that?”

“Well some words are the same,” she tried to assure me.

I spent the week mostly saying, “San Miguel, Salamat.”

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Snipets from our Latest Trip to the Philippines

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We’ve been back less than a week from our 3-week vacation to the Philippines. Our itinerary was: 1 week in Alcoy, Cebu; 1 week in Dumaguete; 1 week in Palawan. It all went by too quickly. Here are some impressions.

I need to work on my drinking:

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I had the opportunity to meet three expats for lunch while in Dumaguete. They were guys I knew online from a Philippines forum I frequent. Good guys, not an American among them, and it seems clear that when we move to Dumaguete, that if I want some expat friends, at least a few good ones live there.

But when it comes to drinking San Miguel I am woefully lacking. Had my standard 1 beer while two of my new friends were plowing through a 6-pack each. The waitress was running full speed to and from our table to take and then deliver the next beer run. Somehow the guys had the energy to flirt with her every time she arrived – which might have been the purpose. Finally I ordered a 2nd San Mig just to keep from looking like the lightweight that I am.

Afterwards Janet took one look at me and asked how many beers I’d had.

Is the Philippines the noisiest or most romantic place on earth:

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Janet and I were in El Nido, Palawan – a beautiful place. We’d just had dinner and were walking back to our hotel. Janet spotted a cart with her fave grilled chicken intestines on a stick; and no I did not partake. I like Filipino food but there’s a limit. She is waiting with baited breath for the grilling to finish when suddenly we hear a dog yelping in extreme pain. Like most places in the Philippines the streets of El Nido are narrow, trikes, motorcycles, and cars rush along with little concern, and we assumed the dog got hit by something. Everyone was looking in the direction of the cries of pain, which did not stop and if anything intensified. Janet and I feared the worst and approached the dog. I was expecting to see massive injuries. Instead we witnessed two dogs humping happily. “Must be a virgin,” Janet remarked. Only in the Philippines!

Janet takes on the trike drivers:

One of the gripes for most expats is with the taxi and trike drivers trying to overcharge. In many cities trikes are regulated and there’s a flat rate wherever you want to go. For example in Dumaguete the rate is 6.5p/person. In Puerto Princesa, Palawan it’s 8p. During our stay in Puerto Princesa we went out to dinner and had no problem with a trike driver taking us from our hotel to the restaurant for the 8p x2 plus a small tip. On the way back we flagged a trike. Janet told the driver in Tagalog the name of our hotel. “40 pesos,” he said. “No way!” responded Janet and we didn’t get into the trike. She flagged the next one. “50 pesos,” he immediately told her. Now she’s pissed. Traveling in the Philippines, knowledge is power. We knew what the rates were and she would not pay more. Finally the 3rd driver took us home and we paid him the correct amount plus tip.

I am lazy enough that I probably would have overpaid, but do not mess with Janet!

Palawan really is that beautiful:

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Palawan has been on the list of the most beautiful islands in the world many times and finally we decided to go. As a cynic I know that such lists are exaggerated. For example, despite the hype, Boracay, which I do like, is far from the best place to vacation in the Philippines.

But Palawan is beautiful. El Nido has to be seen to be believed and we just scratched the surface. Even the 5+ hour drive from Puerto Pricessa to El Nido was extraordinarily beautiful.

There are so many mountains on Palawan that they haven’t bothered to name them all.

We will be returning!

Yes, sometimes there is progress in the Philippines:

The Philippines is not known as a place where change happens quickly. We spent a week at our favorite resort in Alcoy, the BBB (Bodos Bamboo Bar). Ok, truth be told there aren’t a lot of options in Alcoy so every year it’s the BBB. The 1st time we stayed there some years back, we had a very nice cottage. The cottage had a fan, but no aircon, which was doable. The cottage had no hot water in the shower, which was not doable to my standards. I don’t need luxury but even in  a  place like Alcoy in the summer, I want hot water. But worst is that while the hotel advertised free wifi, the wifi only worked in public areas, not the cottages.

But sometimes, if rarely, things change in the Philippines. This year the cottages were equipment with aircon. Modern hot water was plentiful. And what’s best is that the wifi worked everywhere and the connection was reasonably fast. At the end of our stay I approached the owner, told her we’d been coming for several years and appreciated the improvements, particularly to the wifi.

Of course the rate for the cottages was increased 50%.

Everything is crispy in the Philippines:

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In the Philippines “crispy” is king. Lechon must be crispy. Anything grilled is only good if the skin is crack in your mouth crispy. The first time Janet had KFC in the US I ordered Original Recipe. She tasted it and crinkled her nose. After that we always ordered Extra Crispy.

There is no such thing as rare meats in the Philippines, Most meats are cooked to death – probably for health purposes. But that’s the taste that people are used to.

But it seems that this crispy thing was taken to an extreme when I saw that all the cigarette ads advertised the flavor of the cancer stick in question as “crispy.”

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Guitarmaking in the Philippines

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One of the questions I get often is, “What the hell are you going to do when you retire?” Of the many things that concern me getting ready to retire (when, where, how much cash will we need) this is one that I don’t worry about too much.

For one thing I am very good at being lazy. Spend an entire Sunday watching movies or surfing the Net – no problem. Spend three weeks on vacation in the Philippines hitting every beach, drinking San Miguels, trying to understand Filipinos, having fun with Janet and her family –  why can’t it be four weeks.

I work hard but don’t live to work!

But I am unusual in that not only do I have a lazy character but I also have an obsessive one. I set up and began this blog 1 1/2 years ago while on my 8-week sabbatical from work, intending for it to be one of my obsessions when I retire.

In short, when I get interested in something I get obsessive. Find a writer I like; next thing you know I have read all his books. Discover the Philippines; next thing you know I’ve visited 8 times and gotten married to my lovely Janet. This seems to be my pattern. Between being lazy and being obsessive I rarely suffer from boredom.

Twenty years ago when my son was a newborn, I got the wild idea to make a guitar. You would think that between running a business and caring for a baby I would have had enough to do but apparently I didn’t. I bought the one book in existence on how to build a jazz archtop guitar and told my then wife that I was going to do it.

She rolled her eyes and said, “Well, no loud power tools and nasty wood dust. We have a baby, you know.”

“No problem. The book tells you how to do it with hand tools.”

So as insane as it sounds, looking back on it, I began. I hit garage sales to buy old, cheap hand tools, obtained the materials and followed along with the book. Of course I had a baby and a nursing wife so any work I did in my 90 year old, bug infested basement, I did after the baby and mother were asleep. The obsession bit quickly and I was often up until past 1:00 AM happily working on the guitar and cleaning up any blood from the frequent self-inflicted injuries. Then up in the middle of the night for baby feeding, and up again around 6:00 to begin the day.

A year later I had a finished archtop. When I showed it around people would compliment me and ask, “Why did you choose the most difficult type of guitar to make as your first guitar?”

The answer? “Because I was too stupid to know it was the most difficult type of guitar to make.”

For the next seven years I spent nearly every night (early morning really) working in my shop building guitars and accumulating tools. Finally between a change in work, divorce, moving, caring for two kids and trying to make money, the guitarmaking came to an end. The tools and materials sat in my new basement, along with a 3/4 completed archtop. Other obsessions had taken over but when friends asked I told them I intended to get back to it in retirement.

Yes, you're right - I'm younger here :)
Yes, you’re right – I’m younger here 🙂

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Over the past 6 months, downsizing in preparation for retirement, I have gone through my shop and sold off some of my tools. As an obsessive it was not unusual for me to buy 5 of a tool I only needed 1 of. So I sold the excess off on ebay, taking the money and putting it into my retirement war chest. But as I brought the tools out of the basement, prepared them for sale, showed them to Janet and explained what they were for or reminisced about the great deal I had gotten, I realized how much I had missed guitarmaking.

Chris Laarman finger planes on rough archtop top.
Chris Laarman finger planes on rough archtop top.

2 finger and 1 palm plane by Legendary English plane maker, Bill Carter.
2 finger and 1 palm plane by Legendary English plane maker, Bill Carter.

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More importantly my wonderful Janet realized it too. “We still have plenty of time. Why don’t you finish that guitar in the basement?”

I knew myself too well and knew I couldn’t just spend a little time on the hobby; that like the old “bet you can’t eat just one” chip commercials, I would be unable to hold back the obsession. So I resisted.

Now, I own a couple of my own guitars including that first one. I’ve seen it daily for 19 years and never liked the finish on it and could see some of the woodworking imperfections.

After building that one I developed a co-obsession: French Polishing. It’s a very old form of wood finishing and perfect for my obsessive nature: time consuming, hand done and with natural materials. I studied and learned everything I could about it and from then on it became my guitar finishing method.

So I thought, ‘It won’t be too hard to sand the finish off guitar #1, fix most of the woodworking imperfections and French Polish it.” Janet was all for it and as a Filipina with a business administration degree said, “then you can sell it and take the money and buy supplies for more guitars.”

Ready for French Polishing.
Ready for French Polishing.

I began and of course it was like I had never left. The older hands, eyes and muscles quickly remembered. Immediately I began to think of the type of shop I might have in retirement. A nipa hut in the backyard?

BTW, guitarmaking is a growing concern in the Philippines. There are several well known builders in Mactan, Cebu. I’ve been there and watched them a couple times and the methods are fascinating. For one thing, their work bench is often the ground.

At least he's not standing like I do.
At least he’s not standing like I do.
I can't understand how they let it bake in the hot sun.
I can’t understand how they let it bake in the hot sun.

I was speaking to a guitar playing friend who’d visited the Philippines a couple times. “Why not teach classes on guitarmaking?” he asked. I thought that might be impractical (too long a class) but thought that a day class on French Polishing or other traditional woodworking methods might be fun to do. So that will be part of the obsession. Janet immediately volunteered to provide lunch to the students!

 

 

 

 

 

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Tell Us Where to Go (Again)

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Last year, at just about this exact time, I posted, Tell Us Where to Go, a request for input on your favorite places to visit in the Philippines. We ended up traveling to Boracay, Camiguin, and did a couple days in Moalboal, in addition to our standard week in Alcoy, Cebu.

Well, it’s Back to the Future, folks and I am looking for more recommendations.

First the good news. We booked 3 weeks in April. The flight prices from Portland to Cebu were substantially less than last year and any of the other 7 or 8 times I have gone to the Philippines. Whether this was the luck of the draw, because of the decreasing oil prices, or my brilliant shopping skills, I don’t know. But if you were thinking of visiting the Philippines this is a great time to check out the flights. A $300/per ticket savings was a pretty compelling argument for us to book our next trip.

As always, we will spend a week in Alcoy, Cebu. Janet will get to see her family, as will I, but I also look forward to Tingko Beach, Dalaguete, Oslob and the whale sharks we didn’t see last year.

I also look forward to not cutting my damn hand like I did last year.

We will also spend a  week in the Dumaguete area. Since there is a good chance that Dumaguete will be our retirement destination, it’s time to check it out further. We will again see the city and Valencia. If anyone has any recommendations about other towns in the vicinity, please let us know!

There are a few home remedies an ED sufferer can make use to improve viagra mastercard mental health?” Over the last century, medicine made tremendous progress in generating scientific and clinical knowledge. Although rigorous scientific testing has never proven the existence of a chemical that has the aphrodisiac effect on the body, because the liquid gel is more easily absorbed.As also mentioned, the generic consists of the same ingredients as the original and serves the same purpose, but only a few becomes successful winning hearts of numerous users. cialis no prescription mastercard It does not work, if you take it with a high-fat meal.o This product is rapidly absorbed. cialis for cheap browse around for more Each sachet of kamagra oral jelly is available in different different 7 flavors like Banana, strawberry, vanilla, chocolate, black currant etc. buy levitra see content Well that leaves another week open. We could just hit another wonderful beach, look at other retirement destinations, or some combo. We’ve never been to Palawan, so that’s an option. Malapascua, off of Cebu, sounds nice. And last night, for the first time in three years, Janet expressed an interest in returning to Leyte.

Now, Janet worked and went to school in Leyte for five years, and every time I have asked if she would like to return and show me the place she spent these important years, I get – the look!

We have a friend, who I suspect will weigh in on this posting, who owns a small resort in Maasin, Leyte. He asks every year if we are coming and I reply not to count on it. So Janet even hinting she’s interested in going to Leyte is a big step.

Here’s a link to an article on Kalanggaman – supposed to be a great island off Leyte: http://www.thetravelingnomad.com/2016/01/better-leyte-than-never-kalanggaman.html

Me? I am interested in any place fun, off the beaten track. And if it’s cheap, all the better.

So. what do you all think? Tell us where to go – we can take it!

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Fiery Disaster in Cebu City

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My young brother in law works in Cebu City and we are very proud of him. At 19 he moved there almost a year ago and is now in the middle of his 2nd working contract. Lots of work in the Philippines is on a 5-month contract basis, no doubt so that the employers can avoid shelling out benefits that we Americans would consider essential to the basics of life. My BIL works in a mall, 6-days a week, for what is, by American standards, shockingly low pay. Apparently the Philippines needs Bernie Sanders 🙂

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Janet and I hear from him regularly but it is obvious that life in the big city is difficult, work is hard, and fame and fortune are far away. But this Christmas made it even harder.

Christmas Eve my BIL called home and told his mother he missed the family. Because of his work schedule he could not take the 3-hour bus ride home to the provinces in Alcoy and asked her whether she could send his father to come spend Christmas with him. Drama ensued but father was convinced and the next day he and his youngest son were on the bus heading for Cebu City.

Upon arrival, my BIL was working and encouraged his father and brother to stay in his tiny room, where he would join them later that night. His father turned down that suggestion, saying he would go see his brother who also lives in Cebu City. In all likelihood, even by provincial Philippines standards, my BIL’s room left something to be desired. As you will see this turned out to be literally a life and death decision.

The youngest son accompanying his father, was ecstatic to be in Cebu City. No matter what culture you live in, the big city offers kids delights and distractions that no small town, with its “take it for granted” vistas and beaches, can rival. But that night, from his brother’s home, my FIL noticed a large fire in Lahug, the area of Cebu City my BIL lives in.

My BIL’s rooming house, as well and between 60-100 other homes were burned to the ground. Janet and I got bits and pieces of details over the next couple of days. Here’s a few links to the news stories showing the extent of the disaster:

http://cebudailynews.inquirer.net/79510/lahug-fire-leaves-300-homeless

http://cebudailynews.inquirer.net/79622/theres-reason-everything-fire-victims-coping-loss

http://cebudailynews.inquirer.net/79623/fire-victims-assured-no-relocation-you-can-go-back-to-your-place
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Because of the nature of the very poor Lahug neighborhood, where streets are just alleys and fire trucks cannot pass, the fire department was incapable of controlling, or even getting to, the inferno.

And how did the blaze begin? A lit candle unattended, used at night by a household with no working electricity. Interestingly, the newspaper literally named the offender.

My BIL was devastated. At 19 he had little, but all his clothes were gone, except for the work uniform he was wearing. His few possessions, such as a rice cooker and fan, were gone. And perhaps most importantly to him, his important documents were gone; documents such as his high school diploma, which in the Philippines are hard, if not impossible to replace – all gone. In addition, with what little money he earns he had bought Christmas presents for the kids which he intended to send home with his father; all gone. His loss was just as devastating to him as the loss of our homes (and all the stuff in them) would be to you and I.

Of course the good news, which was repeated over and over, is that he was safe. His father and brother had not gone to his room and so they too were safe. And in fact, despite the devastation to the neighborhood, apparently no one died in the fire.

SITO AVOCADO LAHUG FIRE AFTERMATH/DEC.27,2015:Acting Cebu City Mayor Edgar Labella talk to resident of sitio Avocado Barangay Lahug who were affected of fire the other day during his visit in the area.(CDN PHOTO/LITO TECSON)
SITO AVOCADO LAHUG FIRE AFTERMATH/DEC.27,2015:Acting Cebu City Mayor Edgar Labella talk to resident of sitio Avocado Barangay Lahug who were affected of fire the other day during his visit in the area.(CDN PHOTO/LITO TECSON)

Now the Cebu City government, which is just as effective as our own FEMA, set up temporary shelter and food at a school, and promised victims a small payout, which my BIL is hoping to be able to take advantage of – maybe. BTW, if you look at the article and see talk of 5000-10000 pesos to the victims, that’s the equivalent of between a little over $100-$200. And let’s face it, these folks aren’t calling State Farm or Allstate to make a claim.

Fortunately the family, as generally happens in the Philippines, has chipped in. Janet’s cousin, living in a nicer area of Cebu City offered a room, not only to my BIL but to his two roommates. Oh, did I forget to mention that BIL lived in that room with two friends, who also lost everything.

I have no funny or wry conclusions here. We are very sad for BIL, but like most Filipinos he will survive, the smile will return to his face, but he will have learned a life lesson no one should have to learn.