Palawan ’16 Gallery
All posts by Dave
Our 3rd Anniversary
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Bowling with our Filipina Wives
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Update on Move to Philippines
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“You Don’t Look Like a Drug Dealer…”
I’ve never been one of those paranoid people who believe that the media controls everything and everyone. We are all human beings and control our own thoughts and destinies. I may have to change my mind.
As an aside, like most American husbands I know who actually controls everything and everyone – my wife. Just kidding, honey 🙂
I’ve been visiting the Philippines for about 5 years now and have been there 8 or 9 times (I’ve lost track). I’ve married a Filipina and as probably many of you know we’re intending to retire in the Philippines next year.
With few exceptions, nobody I know ever said squat. “Where are you going on vacation, Dave.” “The Philippines.” Nothing – crickets. Or maybe, “The Philippines again? You must like it there.”
When I would return I’d get the standard, “How was your vacation?” questions and the standard, “Glad you had a good time.” And that was it.
Let’s face it, most Americans know more about the changing shape and size of Kim Kardashian’s loboot than they do about the Philippines. They know it’s a tropical island (ok, 7107 islands to be anally precise but who’s counting). They think it’s sort of in Asia. And if they are old enough they vaguely know something about MacArthur returning there, though since he’s long dead it’s possible that ain’t gonna happen.
That’s about it.
But all it takes is for Philippines President, Rodrigo Duterte, to kill a few (ok, a few thousand) drug dealers, and talk a little smack about President Obama and now everyone I know is an expert on the Philippines.
“That guy’s a loose canon.” I’ve heard that comment often enough that I have to assume CNN is promoting it as the new slogan for Philippines’ tourism, replacing “It’s more fun in the Philippines.” Frankly with Duterte in office I think it is more fun in the Philippines, but then I love Scorcese movies and the Taken series . My son and I once counted the number of people Liam Neeson killed in Taken and let’s just say he could be very useful in the Philippines. I wouldn’t be surprised if he gets a call.
Janet also has gotten a negative remark or two and handles them with her normal graceful aplomb – by reaming the remarker with a new one 🙂
And of course I have also gotten plenty of, “Are you still thinking of moving there?” followed by a roll of the eyes and a mumbled, ‘That guy’s crazy.’
This rose to the height of bizarre nonsense just the other day. As part of the downsizing of all my junk, which I recently documented here, I sold off my Nikon cameras, lenses, flashes, bags and associated crap. I decided to go the typical old geezer or traveling geezer route with a point and shoot camera. Of course having owned plenty of nice cameras in my life I wanted a good one that I could still get decent pics from and use for vlogging. And BTW, you should all get ready to be inundated with fascinating videos to come on my YouTube Channel here!
I chose the camera I wanted, found that Best Buy had an open boxed one at a discount and Janet and I headed over. As I’m playing with the camera, I’m telling the salesman what I will be up to as a soon to be retiree. Of course he’s glancing at the old guy’s cute wife, but at this point in my life that just comes with the territory.
For more information, please visit 99eyao website: See aricles like Painful Ejaculation Caused By Prostatitis Can Be Cured By Diuretic and Anti-inflammatory sildenafil discount Pill: Vaginal discharge generally refers to leukorrhea from the vagina. EDF the Britain’s largest electricity viagra cipla learn this here now supplier will pay back a paltry 50 to households who were mis-sold contracts on the doorstep. There are two reasons behind this condition; a premature loss of eggs from the order cialis overnight ovaries or an autoimmune response. Sit in relaxed body posture, concentrate on your breath. online levitra prescription http://appalachianmagazine.com/2014/12/28/dingess-one-of-west-virginias-most-lawless-regions-at-the-turn-of-the-century/ “Where in Asia are you retiring?” he asks.
“The Philippines,” I say and pointed to Janet adding, “that’s where my wife’s from.”
“Well at least you and your wife don’t look like drug dealers. I guess you’ll be safe.”
“I take it you watch CNN,” I replied giggling. “OK, I’ll take the camera. You can watch me dodge bullets on YouTube.”
I guess the point is that people who didn’t know the Philippines from a hole in the wall now are experts. I find myself defending the country, Duterte and our future plans. Now as a defensive guy I don’t mind doing that but when you are debating it only works if the other person knows something about the subject. Someone who’s only seen a 30 second sound bite knows nothing about the Philippines.
“I hear that loose canon’s gonna kick all the American military out of the South part of the Philippines,” a co-worker informed me. She actually said it like it was a bad thing.
“I guess at your age they won’t confuse you with American military,” she added positively.
“Yeah, I might be able to pass.”
Although if I start smoking a pipe in the Philippines I suspect I could pass for MacArthur.
P.S. If you’re wondering why I posted the particular pic of Pres. Duterte above, which has nothing to do with the drug wars or his row with Pres. Obama, it’s because I think it represents the real Duterte – which is a very good thing!
Our Progress Toward the Big Move
Lots of people ask me how our planned retirement and move to the Philippines is going, so it felt like a good time to update. It also seemed like a good time to detail some of the decisions we are making; that way we can look back in a year or two and see how badly they all went 🙂
Getting rid of the crap: Strangely enough, I’ve enjoyed downsizing. It’s been going on for a couple years but is now in real earnest. A month ago we had a big garage sale which went well and was lots of fun. We scoured the house for everything we didn’t need and didn’t intend to bring to the Philippines. About 3/4 of the junk put out was sold by super pitchman, Dave. The rest we either put out on the sidewalk marked free or I took to the Goodwill. I even made some money, which I put into our “Get outta Dodge fund.”
We decided quite awhile ago that we would not be shipping furniture or large items. We will be going the Balikbayan Box route and my current guess is that we will ship between 10-15 BB boxes @ $75/each. The boxes will contain clothes (although I am already donating most of my winter clothing), some kitchen items (the better pots for example), a few household items and items of sentimental value. Unquestionably the biggest single area of stuff to ship are my tools and guitar making supplies.
For many years I collected old hand woodworking tools. There, I admitted it – I was a collector. When you have 2 finger planes, you’re a user; when you have 30, you’re a collector.
A few years ago I started downsizing and probably sold off 60-70% of the tools I had; there were a lot of happy tool collectors on ebay. At the same time I have acquired some items, wanting to have enough supplies to make at least 3 guitars in retirement. By the time I run out of those supplies I will have found local sources.
I had my biggest victory on this 2016 Sale Olympics a week ago. In a fit of stupidity (or excess cash) I bought a high end elliptical machine some years back. Had it installed in our basement. Janet used it more than me. I didn’t want to end up just giving it away and worried about how I would get it out of the basement. I listed it on Craigslist and for weeks – crickets. Then I heard from a guy who was interested. He arrived with a trailer behind his SUV – that was a good sign. He brought his own tools – even better. Most importantly his wife brought the envelope with cash; not even an argument over the asking price. We took the thing partially apart and the 2 of us (both over 60 oldies) schlepped it up the stairs. I didn’t even end up with a sore back; the positive influence of an extra grand in my pocket, I suppose. Our basement looks quite a bit emptier and my “Get out of Dodge fund” is a bit fuller.
Next spring we’ll sell the furniture put the house on the market, ship the BB boxes, and then it all gets very serious.
Finances: I’ve met with my bank and the company that manages my retirement account to see what issues I might have to deal with when living out of the country. Of course they want my vast kano wealth (just kidding) and so are pitching things like I will have no problems.
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Where: While the decision to move to the Dumaguete area was made a while back, the question is how. We definitely want to rent for a while at first (a year?) and then may buy a house. But how to pull this all off? Oh, I could rent a house or apartment online, but do we trust the pics and glowing descriptions online? Or we could just arrive and with with “boots on the ground” stay in a hotel and look for a place. The problem with that is where to ship our boxes without an address?
There are a few complexes that rent by the month (most require longer leases) and we could rent for a couple months, have a place to ship our stuff, and then find the real rental when we arrive. Decisions decisions…
Transportation: Do we need a car? Janet thinks we do and I tend to agree. But what kind? After all I will no longer have the long daily commute, thank God; I will be an old fart retiree! So new or used? Small, large or medium? SUV? Old pickup truck? Jeepney? Trike? Who knows, although unlike many other retirees there, I will not go all Fonzie and buy a motorcycle. Janet is most attracted by the looks; I mostly care about cheap to own and operate. I am open to suggestions? No matter what, I am sure we will still use plenty of public transportation; trikes are cheap in Dumaguete; buses are readily available. Most importantly, Janet knows how to get from Duma to Alcoy, her hometown.
Work Schedule: The clock is ticking and I’ve got one of those countdown programs displayed on my screen, that I glance at whenever I get overwhelmed, which in my work environment is hourly. My company understands firing better than retiring. I therefore know that there’s always a possibility that I could be downsized before my planned leaving date, but since that date is quickly approaching it matters less and less. I hope to go on my own terms but at a certain point…
BTW, for any co-workers or, worse yet, managers reading this, you know I love you, right? I have just one word for you in anticipation of my retirement – kudos 🙂
Our US Home: Once we get to the 1st of the year we will be getting ready for the aforementioned sale of the last of the crap and put the house on the market. There’s a couple minor upgrade items to perform, but nothing too big. Fortunately the real estate market in my area is pretty hot, so I don’t anticipate a long wait for a sale. But as we know buying and selling a home is one of the most stressful things in Western life, so I will at least have one more stressful task to finish before I hit the beach with a San Miguel in my hand.
Other things to do: Buy a bunch of crap when we arrive in Dumaguete to replace the crap we sold here; find a doctor, dentist and acupuncturist; visit the relatives on the East Coast one more time; throw a party; throw two parties. And get ready for the great adventure!
“Fresh Fish!”
Janet and I went to dinner tonight at a local seafood restaurant. This is not unusual in the Northwest, where seafood is king but it was sort of a last minute decision and it went like all restaurant decisions between us.
Me: Why don’t we go out to dinner? Where should we go?
Janet: Wherever the husband wants to go.
Me: (made a couple suggestions – got a couple crinkled noses). We ended up going where the wife wanted to go.
Who said Filipina wives are different from American wives 🙂
We’re talking at the table waiting for our order to arrive. Janet remarked for the hundredth time in our marriage that she misses fresh fish. It took me at least a year of marriage to release that her notion of fresh fish is slightly different from my American notion, which usually includes the image of the Gortens Fisherman. OK, I’ll admit the image above is David Letterman, pretending to be the Gortens Fisherman, but that’s just as accurate.
Janet’s notion of fresh fish is pretty odd; you meet the fisherman at the boat and buy fish that are still flopping around. Or you meet the fisherman on the beach where he has just docked his boat. Or, better yet, your dad catches the fish in the ocean and brings it home. Or best still, you catch the fish and keep the best parts for yourself. As I say, Filipino notions of fresh are pretty odd.
In America our notion of fresh fish is that I see fish in the supermarket lying on ice and it looks yummy. I believe it’s fresh because, like Mulder in the X-Files, “I want to believe.” But of course in reality, the supermarket’s fish lady, who looks neither like the Gortens Fisherman or David Letterman, opens up a box of frozen fish, thaws the suckers out (none of them are flopping) and throws them on the ice. The ice is the most authentic part of the presentation.
Growing up, my notion of fresh fish came from the Three Stooges. It’s less of a con than that supermarket presentation.
As an old fart, I began telling Janet what it was like when I was a kid growing up. We went to the Butcher Shop, the Bakery, the Fish Shop, etc. Janet’s eyes grew larger recognizing that the America I grew up in was not that different from the Philippines she grew up in – well except for the 50 years difference.
Of course once supermarkets began to grab hold, there was no turning back. My mother still got her lunchmeats and bagels at “the kosher deli” but the supermarket was impossible to resist for anything else.
Now Janet works in a supermarket and she began telling me how it really works, which is basically that nearly everything in your American supermarket got there frozen. For all I know the Scott Toilet Paper came off the truck frozen and was dethawed before it could hit my white shiny loboot.
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This got me to thinking. Just as my mother went the way of supermarkets 50 years ago, we now of course use them for the convenience. But unlike her generation, that understood that supermarkets were only convenient and cheap, we’ve actually come to believe that the product is better.
After all, unless you’ve watched a Rocky movie lately, you’ve never watched the butcher carve a side of beef. Unless you’ve watched some gross documentary on Tyson’s, you don’t know or wanna know how chickens are raised or killed. BTW, you do realize that most animals poop a lot and rarely know which bathroom to use.
I hear guys all the time (myself included) express shock at Philippines wet markets. The meats and fish bake in the heat, there are flies all around, and hell, the vendors don’t always look all that sanitary. In short, it ain’t the Walmart produce section.
“Don’t worry about the flies – we won’t weigh them.”
We in the West have convinced ourselves that animals and produce come from sanitary environments without flies, or at least the flies have been sprayed to death by the latest organic pesticide.
So, we’ve taken the natural experience of a fish caught, sold and consumed immediately, perverted it with a chunk of ice, and convinced ourselves it’s better for us – that is it would be better if those darn corporations would stop providing us with tasty GMOs in our sanitary food. And then, if we’re rich kanos, we spend twice as much for products labeled organic or natural, meaning they’re grown or raised like they use to be when I was a kid and often still are in the 3rd world.
Of course when Janet and I move to the Philippines I am sure that I will still be put off by the flies in the wet market. I will just choose to remember my favorite line from the Firesign Theatre describing the Giant Toad Supermarket: “Don’t worry about the flies – we won’t weigh them.”
Why I’d Vote for Duterte over Trump or Clinton
I don’t really intend for this posting to be about politics but that never has stopped me from creating a controversial or fun title.
That being said, I do like new Philippines President, Rodrigo Duterte. I must like him: I spent a good chunk of yesterday listening to his 90 minute State of the Nation address and half of it was in Tagalog; I know no Tagalog, but he’s funnier in Tagalog than in English so I listened to that part as well. My wife upon hearing I’d listened to the entire speech was suitably impressed and usually good things come from impressing Janet 🙂
I must admit that even though I am a big Bernie Sanders supporter, I doubt I have ever spent 90 uninterrupted minutes listening to him. And there is no amount you could pay me to get me to listen to 90 minutes of Trump or Clinton. That would be a punishment worse than death!
I’ll get more into Duterte later, but what I really wanted to talk about is my upcoming retirement, move to the Philippines and one more reason why I want to move. I posted quite a while back some of the reasons for moving abroad. As with most expats the reasons include: sun, sand, cost of living, my wife and her family, adventure, travel, etc.
But there’s one other. I live in a country that’s one sick puppy and I’m tired of it. Let’s start with all the shootings. I get it; America’s a gun totin’ culture and has been since it’s inception. And I’m no dope; where there’s guns there will be shootings. Nor am I scared. While cautious I will go anywhere I like without fear.
So why then does this bother me? Friends have said, “there’s lots of crime in the Philippines. Doesn’t that worry you?” Nope. If I get shot during a robbery in the Philippines, at least I understand the reason – somebody wanted a little foreigner cash. If somebody gets shot by a jealous wife, I get that too. And BTW, I’ve already let Janet know that we will not have a gun in the Philippines, since I think I would be the one it might get used on lol.
But there is no comprehensible reason for the shootings here – and that bothers me more.
——————————————
Getting back to Duterte; when he talks about shooting drug lords and dealers – at least I get that. Not everybody’s gonna agree about that over the top solution but it’s an understandable answer to a very big problem in the Philippines. In the US we have a catastrophic mental health crisis and our solution is to dispense drugs and guns with equal ease – wonderful.
Janet tells me that most of the people she works with are on some sort of mental health medication and while I suppose that it is a good thing that people who need it can get it, it’s appalling that apparently everyone needs it!
Go to the Philippines and people aren’t taking anti-depressants; they’re taking shabu and getting shot by the police, as approved by President Duterte. But again, at least I get that.
In short, while in many ways I still love my country and the city I live in, in many other ways I am alienated from a fundamentally unhappy culture and feel compelled to leave it.
——————————————
OK, now back to politics:
We were in the Philippines in April and I was shocked at the amount of rabid pro-Duterte people I ran into. Taxi drivers were asking me about what I thought of Duterte. Apparently as an American I am considered more politically astute. I mustered up what little Visayan I could manage and said, “Duterte maayo.” I am sure I swayed more than a few votes with my profound words.
I mustered up what little Visayan I could manage and said, “Duterte maayo.” I am sure I swayed more than a few votes with my profound words.
But seriously, Filipinos were genuinely excited about the change in leadership they were hoping for and still seem excited about what they have gotten.
Duterte is what we used to call in the West a “strongman.” Not a dictator, but not a guy who’s gonna wait for the congress to approve everything. In fact, he spent part of his State of the Nation speech asking to be given more power and my guess is he’s gonna get it.
While “power corrupts and absolute power corrupts absolutely” (see Trump and Clinton) sometimes in the right hands it can be wielded effectively. For example, as Mayor of Davao, Duterte initiated the 1st 911 emergency system in the Philippines. Now he’s been in office as President less than a month and is initiating 911 for the entire country – and doing it now! Imagine how long an American President, with our pesky Congress and laws would take to get something like this done.
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And once Duterte was elected, with his well known position on drug lords and dealers (said position being horizontal and six feet under), drug dealers and users began spontaneously turning themselves into the police. So far, thousands have come forward throughout the country, confessing their past sins, agreeing not to do it again, and oh yes, “please don’t shoot me.”
And BTW, for those critics who cry that “human rights” are being violated, during his speech the President had this to say.
So after that bit of excitement let me swing back to my upcoming retirement. One of the things you have to do when you prepare to retire and move is to downsize big time. The decisions on what to keep actually became quite easy. If we’re not planning to send something to the Philippines, we have to either sell it, donate it or trash it; no other options. Thus Janet and I planned a large garage sale which we held a few weeks ago. We collected all our junk in the living room, preparing for the day when we hoped it would all go flying out of our lives. We posted an Event on Facebook. Janet put up flyers. And Dave became for at least two days a big time wheeler-dealer.
We easily disposed of 3/4 of our junk and will donate the rest. Hell, we even made a few bucks (more than a few really) which I put into our “Get out of Dodge fund.” Of course one Filipina friend, not quite comprehending our goal, told other friends that poor Dave and Janet must need money.
Next spring the furniture will go, Balikbayan boxes will get shipped, the house will go on the blocks, and then it will all become very very real.
In the meantime, here’s one more snipet from Duterte, my soon-to-be President. Here’s how he preps for the SONA speech. Can’t help it – I like this guy!
https://youtu.be/BaG5aOb07Jw
The Nose Blowing Controversy
First let me state what I hear about on almost a daily basis. Expats who live in the Philippines or guys in the U.S. married to Filipinas are often surprised, put off or flat out grossed out by what they consider rude or unusual behavior by Filipinos. Perhaps the most common complaint is how many men in the Philippines, finding themselves a bit bathroom-challenged, will use the side of the road for a pit stop. Second might be the singing of karaoke at all hours of the night.
I usually fall back on the “it’s a different culture” argument and figure that you can either adjust or not. I’m a flexible kind of guy and figure I can adjust. That and the fact that the bathrooms at my job and the bathroom habits of my co-workers are not necessarily any more sanitary than the side of the road! I mean if it’s good enough for Clemenza, worried about his cannoli, it’s good enough for me:
https://youtu.be/yQ9cPCOgAz8
But my point is that this cultural grossness works both ways. Janet and I like to go out to dinner once or twice a week. It’s just a nice break. We have a favorite Italian place that I’ve been going to for 40 years; standard neighborhood decor that hasn’t changed in all that time; fortunately neither has the food. Plus it’s cheap!
While we like the place and love the food, invariably there are some rather large patrons who have consumed the pasta and cannoli a bit too often. You know – the Clemenza types. Three years she has lived here but Janet is still stunned at such a view. The woman at the table next to us had a loboot twice as wide as her chair and I knew that Janet would notice. No doubt we both silently wondered whether the old chair might give way.
But it was her husband that grossed out Janet and ruined her dinner. Grabbing a napkin he blew his nose – loudly. As the old joke goes, “at least his horn still worked.” Janet wrinkled her nose and made one of those ‘I cannot eat with such grossness’ faces. Nothing stops me from eating those yummy meatballs so I ignored it.
Five minutes later the guy blew his horn again and Janet lost it. “Can’t we complain to the manager?”
“Why?”
“It’s rude. In the Philippines the manager would ask him to use the bathroom.”
While I agreed that it was a little off-putting I told Janet, “In the U.S. it’s accepted and no way is the manager gonna make him use the bathroom. I mean he did use a napkin, right?”
“I don’t care. You should not be doing that at the table for everyone to hear.”
“His family doesn’t seem to mind.”
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“But its ruined my dinner.”
Janet proceeded to repeat why such behavior would be socially unacceptable in the Philippines. “My mother would have sent you away from the table.”
“Your mother’s tough,” I said making a mental note to never make a sound at my inlaws table. I don’t want to miss out on the adobo.
Janet and I weren’t exactly arguing but she was intransigent; the behavior was inappropriate and would ruin any civilized person’s meal; as an uncivilized person I was trying to enjoy my meatballs.
As it is, I try very hard to ignore my fellow Americans when at restaurants. If they aren’t 400 pounds or blowing their nose, they are talking politics or bragging about their last gun acquisition. I would much rather enjoy my spaghetti and cute wife.
But in this case my dinner was ruined not by the guy’s habits but by Janet’s laugh out loud impression of his honking.
“OK, now my meal is ruined too!”
“You see!” she said triumphantly.
Of course I still finished every bite.
El Nido Island Hopping
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