Less than 2 weeks ago I turned 70. We had a great party at the house. Much of Janet’s family came to attend, as did a number of my friends. I was touched by everyone’s attendance and the general spirit of the thing. Speaking of spirits, I am a lightweight drinker but many bottles were brought by my friends and I allowed myself to get pretty well done!

So, I thought, with a 3 month old happy baby, and nice friends and family, 70’s not gonna be so bad. A few days go by and I’ve sobered up. I have an annoying sore or cut by the nail of my right index finger. I think it might be a splinter (I am a woodworker). I dig around there looking for it but can’t find the splinter, nor can Janet. By the next morning it was slightly swollen and very painful. We cleaned it up good and bandaged it, assuming it would start to heal. By the afternoon it was a little worse.

I sent a picture to my doctor friend. He speculated it was an ingrown nail and prescribed antibiotics, pain meds and a tetanus shot. He also talked about having the nail cut, which didn’t excite me. By the time I had taken dose one of the antibiotics, the area around the nail was turning black with blood under the skin.

The next day was Saturday but my Primary Doctor was open and I made an appointment. By this time it was obvious I had an infection in the finger. My doctor shares his office with a general surgeon, and I was immediately passed to the surgeon.

Using his phone and Dr. Google, the surgeon showed me the type of wound I had. I didn’t care. “So what are we gonna do about it?” He drained it, cut the dead skin away, then poured gallons of betadine in there and dressed the wound. He said the prescribed week of antibiotics would be enough and I would be fine, as long as I cleaned the thing several times a day, a duty that Janet took on. What he didn’t tell me is that the thing would hurt like hell, since he’d removed a large chunk of skin from around the nail.

As a guitar player I could not hold a pick and was going through withdrawal. After 3 days I couldn’t stand it and discovered I could hold the pick adequately with my middle finger. While that disaster was resolved, it became clear that at 70 the finger and its missing skin were not going to heal quickly.

BTW, I was able to get the tetanus shot at my local RHU (Rural Health Unit). Most foreigners don’t take advantage of the RHUs in the Philippines. You should. There’s a lot of basic stuff they can do and often it is free or inexpensive.

One more side effect of my condition. When I take antibiotics, invariably I get the runs which do not subside until the antibiotics are completed. So for a week I ran to the bathroom regularly and didn’t leave the house much. Are we having fun yet?

I see my dermatologist every six months since my bout with skin cancer two years ago. My next appointment would be next month. But Janet noticed a pimple-like bump on my nose, not far from the previous surgery. So I scheduled an appointment for next week and told the nurse that if they got a cancellation earlier to let me know.

Yesterday I was in the mall for the first time in a week; avoiding it for reasons previously described. I had a couple hours to kill and then Janet would pick me up and we would go to Baby Jack’s pediatrician for a checkup and the next round of vaccinations. BTW, I will at some point blog about the vaccines (no, not for that reason) but because modern babies get dozens of them.

My phone rang and it’s my dermatologist’s office. They had an opening the same time as the baby’s appointment. I told them I can come 1 1/2 hours later and they agreed.

Janet picked me up and we head for the pediatrician. We are still not that skilled with driving with the baby but we get to the office on time and the doctor was not there. While waiting I assumed the dermatologist appointment couldn’t happen and I was about to message them, when the pediatrician arrived.

To my surprise our pediatrician apologizedfor her lateness; she had a delivery with a C-section. Doctors don’t normally apologize for lateness in the Philippines; it’s standard operating procedure. I thanked her but said not to worry – we understand that it’s part of her job. Jack passed his exam and barely cried at the shots and we are soon off to my dermatologist.

The dermatologist had been informed by her staff of the reason why I made the appointment and asked where was my concern. I showed her and she examined it. Now, I am a bit nervous. “I don’t think it’s anything to worry about. Might be some scarring.” Since I was already there, why not do my 6 month exam then? We agreed. So I took off my clothes and threw them on the floor and she began to examine me. “What about your watch and ring?” she asked. I tossed my watch onto the pile of clothes, but my wedding ring – well, we’ll come back to that.

I got dressed and put the watch back on. I had a few pre-cancerous spots and we decided to spray them with liquid nitrogen. “We might as well spray the nose too,” she said. I got nervous. “I thought it was nothing.” “It probably is,” she replied. “But since we’re already doing it…”

Janet went to the bank to get more cash; between the vaccines and the liquid nitrogen spraying this was an expensive day.

On the way home we agreed that I’d done the right thing. It was probably nothing – well that is unless it is something, in which case I will keep an eye on the nose and see lol.

By the time we arrived home it was dinner time. Too exhausted to do anything, we ordered food through Grab. I ran out barefooted to meet the delivery driver. As I went to unlock our gate I looked down and realized – I had no wedding ring on; I’d left it at the doctor’s. I took the food, locked the gate, and trotting back to the house, stepped on something hard and heard a crunch.

Over dinner I told Janet about the ring and sent a message to the doctor’s office to please look for it. They looked on the floor and saw nothing.

Ever more reluctantly I told Janet that I had stepped on a rock and it had broken the skin. “Well at least I am taking antibiotics and had a tetanus shot.” After scolding me for not wearing shoes she examined my left heel and found a small pebble buried inside. It took a half an hour with a sterilized needle to get it out and we both breathed a sign of relief.

This morning I woke up around 5:00 to the talking and giggling of a happy Baby Jack. After talking to him for a few minutes I knew it was time to run to the bathroom; the antibiotics were calling. My business done and done quickly I threw a piece of toilet paper into the bowl and then underneath the seat where I’d just been sitting I saw the largest spider I’d ever seen in the Philippines; and that means huge because they grown them huge here. “Oh my god,” I yelled and Janet ran in to see what was wrong. She saw and slammed the lid down and flushed the toilet. I thought, ‘no way is a flush gonna get rid of this thing.’ To quote Woody Allen in Annie Hall, “the spider’s the size of a Buick.”

But bravely she lifted the lid and it was empty. She examined the area around the toilet and I flushed a couple more times just to be sure. And I vowed to never get the runs again.

Who the hell said 70 is gonna be great. I’ve barely survived the 1st week lol.

Update: My dermatologist found the wedding ring, meaning I can still stay married a while longer.