Many of Janet’s family members came over to Dumaguete this week. About half of them just stayed the day, several others (including my Father in Law) stayed a few days, and two girls will be here about a week. While technically the reason was that we gave the family our old refrigerator and they were here to pick it up, I am sure that for many that was just an excuse to come see a 6 1/2 month pregnant Janet. So they all piled into the back of a multi cab and took the ferry from Cebu to Negros.

Let me shift gears here for a moment and then I will get back to the gathering. Nearly anyone married or in a relationship with a Filipina and certainly any expat who lives here knows the story. The level of poverty most of these people live with is something unheard of to most any Westerner. I told my kids a few stories as did Janet when we lived in the U.S, but I am sure my kids did not comprehend or believe it. Homes without electricity or running water. Walking hours a day to school. Struggling for food. Having been with Janet over 10 years no story shocks me anymore, but still – it is a life incomprehensible to any American.

I say this because despite the poverty the Philippines is consistently rated as having one of the happiest populations in the world. And this week maybe I have figured out just a little piece of that happiness.

You see, the family arrived Sunday. Janet immediately fed them all breakfast. Afterwards the kids settled down in front of the TV, or on a phone or wandered the property. My father in law, who at 60 has been a farmer his whole life, went out, examined our gardens and yard – and went to work. I have known him for 10 years and know that there is no point in telling him to please relax and enjoy himself and to use these days as a mini-vacation; I know he won’t do it. He proposed a couple projects to Janet who agreed and spent Sunday, Monday and Tuesday working on our property. He managed to get a little help from a few of the kids but mostly he worked on his own, all day long.

Why does he do it? There was no huge need. Sure, the projects he completed were nice but not necessities; the garden is well maintained by Janet, a gardener who comes over once a week, and Janet’s brother Jorre; notice I didn’t include my own name in this effort lol.

Nor could he have thought that he is obligated. He knows that his daughter and her foreigner husband would be happy to see him chill out.

So why does he do the very same work he does 6 days a week at home? I think it’s because he likes it!

And how about my Mother in Law. She raised 10 kids. After she mostly raised the 10 she took on 2 and sometimes 3 grandkids. There are two additional grandkids who are at the family home often. She works all day and night cooking and caring for all of them.

You’d think that after the 10 were raised she’d never want to see a kid again – but it seems to be the opposite. I feel fairly confident that once our baby Jack comes along she will happily want to help with him.

So again – why? Necessity or obligation? Well, there is plenty of that for sure. But I think that mostly she likes it!

So let’s review: my in laws work their asses off 52 weeks a year and seem to enjoy it. Is liking what you’re doing the key to happiness? It is in the Philippines.