It’s the middle of the Christmas Holiday and we’ve survived happily. We had a very pleasant barbecue dinner with friends at our new house on Christmas Eve, then went to another friends’ house for general celebration and midnight fireworks. On Christmas we went to a friends’ house for a wonderful, traditional Christmas dinner.

It seems like the most consistent topic of conversation between the expats was the changing of Dumaguete into Dramaguete. I was told from the start before moving to the Philippines that one of the biggest challenges I would face was not about getting along with Filipinos, but about dealing with the other expats.

Depending on who you listen to, Dumaguete has somewhere between 3000-5000 expats living here. I’m not talking about the tourists but the actual residents. Most are retired and therefore skew older. Most live on a pension of some sort. Most struggle to find meaningful things to do. And some (a few?) are pains in the ass.

Keyboard warriors dominate the FB groups and internet forums. Dare to say something positive about Dumaguete or its people, and you’re likely to be shouted down. Go to any expat gathering at your local watering hole and you’re likely to hear stories about fellow expats; who isn’t talking to who, who is suing who, or even who’s banging who’s wife or gf.

If I go into the local Robinsons or a bank, store or government office and I hear a loud commotion caused by a pissed off guy, I don’t even have to turn my head; I know it’s a foreigner.

Janet and I have only lived in Duma for 2 1/2 years, so we are far from experts. But whenever we go out, at some point we turn to each other, laugh and say, “Too many foreigners.”

Now some of this is human nature. In 1974 I moved to Portland, Oregon. From that point in the 70s to the present day, Portland has taken in a huge influx of people from all over the United States. After living there about ten years I viewed myself as a native and was mildly resentful of all the influx of Californians; “Californicating Oregon,” we called it.

It’s sort of become the same here. Whenever I hear the aforementioned expats yelling in public my ungenerous reaction is that I wish they would leave “my city.” Janet is more blunt. “They should get the fuck out.” As I say our view now that we have made Dumaguete home, is that that those that cause problems, yell and scream, or get drunk at 9:00AM would be much happier to do all of the above in their home country – or under a ton of concrete ala Jimmy Hoffa.

The same can be said about the Internet. I’ve given up, but I used to post pics with captions like “A beautiful day in Dumaguete,” only to get slammed because after all it’s too hot or there’s smoke or too many roosters, bad traffic, or whatever else is bothering people at that moment.

Dramaguete – that’s what it is.

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Today, the day after Christmas, a friend of mine posted a comment on a FB group: “My Christmas Wish is Expats Remembering we are GUESTS HERE. We Are the Aliens. Philippines, Love It or Leave It…”

Dramaguete – You can imagine what many of the 50 comments were like.

Now again, complaint is a normal part of human life. But often here the complaint takes the form of ‘I am miserable and I want everyone else to be miserable too,’ or ‘I’m right and they (Filipinos) are wrong and it’s about time “they” listened to those of us that are right.’

In fact whenever I hear the “they” word in conversation I cringe a little. I want to remind the other person that “they” are citizens of the Philippines and “we” are not.

Going back to my Portland analogy, it took about 10 years to stop saying “they” (about Portlanders). Once I considered myself a Portlander and started saying “we” I found myself much happier in my environment.

So at this point Janet and I live in Dumaguete, we built a home in Dumaguete. In short we are Dumagueteños. For those who struggle with the language, culture or people of Dumaguete, I suggest you try to think of yourself as a Dumagueteño and forget the “us vs. them.” Your attitude and happiness itself might change.